'Tis the Season...

Ah, 'tis the season for generosity, sappy stories, and happy holiday tunes. In the holiday spirit, I'd like to point you toward some of the most generous music websites out there, and spread some heartwarming stories. (See yesterday's post about my Christmas playlist for more of the holiday tunes.)

First off, I'd love to give you all the gift of great holiday music, but Amazon's already playing Santa for me. In case you haven't heard, their 25 Days of Free promotion is giving out a free Christmas song every day. Today's release: Relient K's beautiful "I Celebrate the Day," one of their most moving songs about struggling to be close to Jesus.

If you're looking for something a little lighter, don't worry - you can still download the other 21 songs released earlier this month. I, of course, had to snatch of a copy of Lady Gaga's deliciously and disturbingly provocative "Christmas Tree" feat. her buddy Space Cowboy. As with all of her songs, her infamous advice to not listen, "just dance" certainly applies with this track.

The only problem with the Amazon giveaway is it works best when you download the songs with their free Amazon MP3 Downloader, and by "it works best," I mean it barely works at all. But rather than crappy software, I prefer to think of it as a daily exercise in meditation and self-restraint. By Christmas, you'll be ready to tackle those pesky plastic packages that can only be cut with knives, no sweat.

If Amazon's 22 free holiday songs aren't enough, you can download 25 free songs at Green Label Sound. No reindeer or baby Jesuses in this collection, but nothing says holiday excess like four versions of "Big Bills" by Flosstradamus. Still, I can't complain about free songs from Matt & Kim and Chromeo. (And okay, Flosstradamus is officially my new fave dance-pop duo.) Maybe I'll make a New Year's resolution to actually listen to all these remixes I just downloaded...

Oh, and for the truly tireless, if you can download those and still stand to download another free remix, LIGHTS is giving out a free download of the Spike Club Mix of her (minor) hit "Ice" to all members of her website. I highly recommend joining, not just because joining is free and lets you comment on all her pictures of her adorable self holding ginormous ninja swords, but also because she and Owl City appear to be Siamese twins when it comes to touring: she's opening for him on both his winter and spring North America tours and squeezing in a Europe tour with him in between. I feel reassured knowing that in case his email list, MySpace blog, and official Street Team don't alert me of one of his concert presales in time, her mailing list will :]

And speaking of their spring tour, you've heard Adam's sneaky presale announcement, right? April 22, Constitution Hall will def be where the party's at. Me and eight of my coolest friends already snatched up our tickets; I suggest you follow suit. I know I haven't gotten around to posting my review of his fall tour yet, but like everything he does, it was fairly magical.

Oh, and speaking of Owl City, Adam sparked a minor panic over his marital status when he tweeted "DING DONG! WEDDING BELLS!" on Friday. He's rumored to be dating Ann Monson (whose tweets he occasionally retweets), but sources relatively close to Adam reassured us crazy fangirls and boys that Adam's not tying the know anytime soon. Coincidentally, Skillet's guitarist Ben Kascia confirmed that Adam was just celebrating a friend's wedding when he tweeted that a friend of his, whose sister is dating Adam, got married on Saturday... It's a small world. A strange, small world.

One pop star did go off the market this weekend, of course: Kevin Jonas married his girlfriend Danielle DeLeasa on Saturday. Details on the "fairy-tale"-like ceremony here. [Be sure to notice the part about the faux-icicles at the New York ceremony. If they'd waited a day, they probably could have gotten a few icicles from Mother Nature, free of charge.] According to People magazine, when Kevin popped the question, Danielle responded "Yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row." Awww.

Looks like Kevin and Danielle won't be getting much of a honeymoon, though - the JoBros are slated to perform at the Walt Disney World Christmas Parade this Friday. Pity; they're some of the only pop stars I can think of who probably wait until the honeymoon.

Wait - this just in - Inspirational Story Alert!

If you love a good overcoming-adversity-to-sing-tear-jerking-ballads story, well, you probably already watched Charice Pempengco perform on Oprah. But in case you didn't, meet one of the most adorable Asian exports since Hello Kitty. During interviews, this Filipina singer looks like a harmless little ball of cuteness, but put her onstage and the girl can sing. Her unbelievably strong vocals have drawn rave reviews from everyone from David Foster to Josh Groban, who says she has one of the most beautiful voices he's heard in a long time. And to top it off, she's got a great inspirational story about being raised in the Philippines by a single mother. Her mother left with Charice and her brother after their father domestically abused them. After receiving only informal vocal lessons from her mother, she performed well on the American Idol-like singing competition Little Big Star. Her career didn't really take off, however, until videos of her singing reached YouTube. Since then, she's appeared on every talk show ever, as well as in the film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. I think her rendition of Alicia Keys' "No One," accompanied by the Chipettes, is sure to become a classic.

Here's a video of Charice performing her new single "Note to God" (sans rodents) on Oprah. And be sure to stay tuned for her adorable interview afterwards, in which she talks about her career, as well as her crushes on Justin Timberlake and Josh Groban. (Spoiler alert: Then Oprah gives everyone Xboxes.)



Also, check her out on David Archuleta's Christmas album singing a duet of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with him. Treacly Christmas song, American Idol's favorite teddy bear, and a girl whose voice is the only thing better than her back story? Sounds like a downright Christmas miracle.

And finally, before you head over to the fireplace or sip some hot chocolate, here's a video to put you in that warm-n-fuzzy mood. For a song questioning the substance of love in the light of his parents' divorce and his off-again on-again relationship with his girlfriend, NeverShoutNever's new video "What Is Love?" still manages to be incredibly heartwarming.


What Is Love?

nevershoutnever. (new song & video) | MySpace Music Videos

Happy Holidays!

Perfect[opop] Christmas Playlist!

There may only be four days til Christmas, but whether you need a soundtrack to keep you full of Christmas cheer during your last-minute shopping or you need a little boost of Christmas spirit to make up for those Christmas parties you had to miss because of the blizzard of '09, we've got you covered with some of the most fun holiday pop and rock songs. From classics by the Beach Boys to dance songs released just this year, this list may seem a bit eclectic, but I can assure you it's nice.

Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 - Trans-Siberian Orchestra: It's just not Christmas without an overly dramatic, full-orchestra-meets-heavy-metal rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" colliding with "Carol of the Bells" like two monster trucks... No, seriously, it's not.

Santa Claus is Thumbing to Town - Relient K: A very imaginative Night-Before-Christmas tale of everything going wrong in the North Pole, culminating with Santa trying to hitchhike around the world in one night, told over thrashing guitars riffing on "Jingle Bells."

Ugly Christmas Tree - Oh, Hush!: Whoever the members of Oh, Hush! are, they must the masters of Christmas spirit. It takes a true believer to pen a bouncy little tune about your ugly Christmas tree without losing any of your “Christmas glee.”

Girl of My Dreams - Jonas Brothers: Forget sticking your tongue on frozen poles; I triple-dog dare you to listen to this song without jumping or dancing around... Can't do it? Aw, it's one of the most fun songs the JoBros have ever recorded; I'll let you dance around a little. It's Christmas.

Angels We Have Heard on High - Relient K: Hands-down best pop-punk performance of a traditional Christmas song ever. Why can't we rock out like this during the Christmas eve service?

My Girlfriend (Forgot Me This Christmas) - The Click Five: Okay, Eric, maybe I can see why the other guys kicked you out of the band (unverified rumor alert): you seem a bit obsessed with your possessions. Despite the two entire verses devoted to things the singer bought or received, the song is fun and supremely danceable. Also, way to have a better attitude than the guys on "Last Christmas" - you still have New Year's!

Little Saint Nick - The Beach Boys: What can I say? The sunny, harmonious music of the Beach Boys both preceded and perfected the art of swoon-inducing pop songs The Click Five and JoBros always seek to emulate. Gotta respect the classics.

Disco Christmas - Oh, Hush!: The title says it all. Also, I will definitely top my tree with a disco ball instead of a star next year.

Last Christmas - Wham!: I've loved this song ever since I first heard Hilary Duff sing it on her Christmas album Santa Claus Lane. (Yeah, I bought it... Okay, okay, quit laughing!) Last year, I looked under every igloo and toy shop in the North Pole, searching for the greatest cover of this song. I checked out everything from Ashley Tisdale and Cascada to Jimmy Eat World and Busted, but I couldn't find a cover that could top the original.

Step Into Christmas - Elton John: I must admit, I think this one of the most festive Christmas songs of all time... Aw, go ahead and laugh. I'll keep dancing around the house, playing this on repeat.

Greatest Time of Year - Aly & AJ: A true Christmas miracle: two uber-Christian Disney pop princesses who don't believe in evolution release the most politically-correct, non-denominational holiday song Hollywood Records has ever produced. We only get a hint of which holiday they are celebrating when they casually mention decorating the tree and hanging mistletoe. Oh, and that whole "joy to the world" thing is kind of a Christian slogan, isn't it?

Why Doesn't Santa Like Me? - Skye Sweetnam: This song simultaneously shows the impish little tween pop-punker at her most rocking and her most adorable. It's told from the perspective of a little girl fearing that Santa won't give her any presents, even though she's been such a good girl this year (hey, her brother has recovered from the time he took the remote control). Skye, Santa may not like you, but we adore you.

Wild Christmas - Huckapoo: Sure, the over-produced vocals are even more sparkly and plastic than fake snow, but this song is pure pop music joy. (And for all you former Dreamstreet fangirls out there, I would like to note that Chris Trousdale's cover is slightly less saccharine but still highly recommended.)

The Christmas Song - Owl City: Adam young brings his usual misty-eyed magic to this original holiday song. Guaranteed to make your heart as warm as a night spent by the fire. And this song's inclusion on my list shouldn't surprise anyone: you know I believe Adam Young can do wrong. His label, Universal Republic, might not agree. They pulled a scheduled November release of this song when they realized its one line about Jesus being the only way might upset fans of other religions. Still, check out this song on YouTube and enjoy his sweet (and totally secular) story of meeting a girl and not having to spend Christmas alone.

I Hate Christmas Parties - Relient K: What this song is missing in Christmas cheer and jingle bells, it more than makes up for with its honest and simple tale of teen heartbreak during the holidays. With less spunk than the similarly-themed "Mood Rings," this is one of Relient K's most clear-eyed and poignant songs about being hurt by girls they don't understand.

Dream Team to the Extreme

My ex-future husband Matthew Thiessen of Relient K recently told Indie Vision Music that he and my current future husband Adam Young of Owl City are likely to create a side project together called Goodbye Dubai.

I will tell you how excited I am as soon as I stop hyperventilating.

More Tours to Fall For

(^Don't you love my rhyming skills? Door, chore, folklore...)

A lot has happened since I last posted fall tour info, and even though the days are getting darker earlier, the concert options are looking brighter than ever...

Didn't really want $100 seats for the Jonas Brothers World Tour this summer? Still remotely interested in checking out their protegee/Ken dolls, Honor Society? Honor Society will be playing a much more intimate show at Sonar, a Baltimore club the size of your closet in an area that will make the parents of many JoBros fans want to hop right back in their cars and take their kiddies to Port Discovery instead. But for the serious Honor Society fans, their show on Wednesday 9/30 should be the perfect antithesis to seeing them open for the JoBros. Get your $15 tickets here and wonder when the last time you could see the JoBros for that price was.

In case you didn't get tickets to Owl City's show this Saturday before they sold out, don't worry too much; there are other fish in the sea and birds in the electonica sky. Lights, often called Owl City's female counterpart (a moniker I completely disagree with, but whatever) is playing at Sonar on Saturday 10/3. Electronic indie trio Stars of Track & Field are opening. At Warped Tour, Lights performed one of the most awkward sets I ever seen (and I have seen Hottub, so I know awkward). There were over 150 people in the mosh, and I was one of the six who danced. The rest just stood there and gaped at her. I mean, she is certainly worthy of gaping at, but really, she's up there for half an hour; surely you can wrap your mind around her music within that time. Anyhow, when people have to shell out $12 for tickets, more than 4% of the crowd should dance. Get your tickets here.

Saturday 10/3 is actually a pretty huge night for Sonar, what with Geist's CD release party in the Talking Head Club and five bands playing a Sonar-sponsored event at Ottobar. Jay Reatard is headlining the Ottobar event, and if you're not the electropop type, his punk rock should provide some equally-electrifying entertainment for the night.

Is touring the East Coast every fall an annual tradition for Relient K? For the second year in a row, Relient K is coming to the area in October. Last year, I missed seeing them play at the 9:30 Club on a school night. This year, I'm going to miss seeing them play at the Recher Theater in Towson on a school night. Tuesday 10/6, to be specific. The same day they release their new album, which I'll talk more about later. Last year, their fall tour had a Halloween theme. This year, it's called "A Three-Hour Tour," so can we hope to see Matty T dressed up as Gilligan and Matty H as the Skipper? I think the guys would tell us there's always hope... More info on the tour with Barcelona and Copeland here.

Kate Voegele is coming to Rock & Roll Hotel on Friday 10/16 with Green River Ordinance. I saw the perpetually sunny Kate perform at Ram's Head a few years ago, and her on-stage exuberance matched only the love coming her diverse group of fans. Buy tickets here.

You might want to save your $16, though. The Friday after that, 10/23, though, mtvU brings out the big guns. Their inaugural Haloween-themed Ulalume fest will move in to the Merriwether Post Pavilion. Supporting acts Kid Cudi and Dead by Sunrise are sure to scare up a crowd before big-name headliners Paramore and AFI go in for the kill. With costume contests and other events that should put the "boo" in "booths" scattered around the pavilion grounds, this festival should be spooktacular. (Don't you love Halloween-themed puns?) Zip over to mtvu.com for all the details and ticket info. Hurry - I hear everyone's dying to get in (Oh gosh, I'm even making myself groan now...)

Give yourself a day off, then check out The Used at Sonar on Sunday 10/25. Or just go there instead of Ulalume because my incessant punnery has made you despise everything Halloween-related. (Sorry!) Get your tickets, along with a free song and uncensored music video, here.

Sunday 10/8, go to the Black Cat to get one last glimpse of local rocker-philanthropists Mae (buy a new song for $1 every month, and the money will buy materials for underfunded schools) before they jet off to Japan with Owl City. Or just for them to come home; they're only playing 3 shows in Japan. But still, isn't it so exciting when people tour Japan?

It's a pretty good season for electropop buffs: Pretty Lights is bringing his jazzy electronica to the 9:30 Club on Wednesday 11/18. Not to be confused with just plain Lights, Pretty Lights is actually not a pretty girl. (I think a name swap may be in order here.) He is actually producer Derek Vincent Smith, who brings a live drummer with him to live shows (as opposed to the dead drummers at... okay, I'll let it go). He also happens to be my newest favorite reason why electronic music is not all soulless, evil, and murdering other genres. To hear the instrumental beauty for yourself, download all three of his albums for the unbeatable price of free at his official site, give him a donation on his PayPal because, dude, you just three albums for free, then head over to his MySpace to leave a little more love and find some more info on his tour with Gramatik.

And last but definitely not least, Boys Like Girls is headlining one of the most exciting tours of the fall for the Fueled By Ramen crowd, supported by the dream team of Cobra Starship, The Maine, A Rocket to the Moon, and VersaEmerge. The only problem? It's not stopping in DC. But anyone who cares to travel a few hours to Philadelphia should be in for a treat on Saturday 11/21, when they play at Electric Factory. Tour dates & tickets here.

2009's Perfect{opop} Summer Playlist

Ah, the sounds of summer. Birds chirping, cicadas buzzing, air conditioners whirring... oh yeah, and all the sounds blaring from your radio and ipod. With concerts on weeknights (no such thing as a school night - w00t!), concerts at theme parks (gotta love Six Flags' freebies), concerts that take all day to drive to and all night to drive home (how far is Bristol? who cares?!), and lots of time to browse MySpace Music, summer's the perfect time to check out some new tunes.

Only time will tell which of this summer's songs will be the most memorable, but here are my predictions of 12 songs from the soundtrack of this summer:

The Top 40 Dominatrix:
Yeah, it's that song that you'll hear again and again on the radio, at the mall, in your friend's car, until you hate it. Then love it. Then hate it even more. This summer's airwaves are expected to be a battleground between defending champ Lady Gaga, the resurgent Kelly Clarkson, and the new staple Katy Perry, but my choice for Top 40's song of the summer is
"I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson (video)

The Song to Dance to All Night Long:
I know, I know, bloggers flock to Black Kids' alt dance tunes like mosquitoes are drawn to bug zappers... Wait, no, Black Kids are way more effective than bug zappers. Even if this boldly named multiracial indie band has been the blogosphere's sweethearts since long before summer 2009, their so-retro-it's-cutting-edge synth jams are the perfect fit for parties this summer. Fun, funky, hip, and undeniably danceable. Make sure no DJ is without
"I've Underestimated My Charm Again" by Black Kids
(Bonus! Check out this crazy video of the song set to scenes from Mystery Science Theater's classic Manos: The Hands of Fate. Though it lags at times, overall, this fan-made's as much fun as anything the band could cook up.)

The Song with "Summer" in the Title:
It may seem a bit tacky, but you know you're a sucker for cheesy songs that scream "IT'S SUMMER!!!!" at the tops of their lungs. There must be at least one on every playlist. And while the radio stations are aching to ride discosticks, try a lesser-known song by today's queen of Top 40:
"Summerboy" by Lady Gaga

The Other Song With "Summer" in the Title:
Yeah, two songs dropping the s-bomb (summer, that is) verges on totally tacky, but this summer's playlist could not be complete without something by The Academy Is... Their last album's late August release date prevented us from dancing to it at the beach for most of last summer. You may have heard it at Warped Tour last year, but this year, make up for lost time by rocking out to the album's toe-tapping jam,
"Summer Hair = Forever Young" by The Academy Is...

Your New Summer Loves:
A lot of great albums have come out in the past year, but you can't spend all summer listening to the same songs you've been hearing all school year. The perfect addition to your pop collection? Take It to the Floor by Cash Cash. While you were busy studying, the most adorable Jersey boys since the JoBros were touring with the likes of Kevin Rudolph and Cobra Starship. Their lead single "Party in Your Bedroom" is just now hitting the airwaves in most places, along with its much buzzed-about video. The boys' sunny dance-pop songs will get you more sugar-high than a visit to the ice cream man, so taste the candy-coated track
"Sugar Rush" by Cash Cash

The Song You'll Have Stuck in Your Head for Days - and Love Every Minute of It:
In the winter, people worry about catching the flu. In the summer, they worry about the plethora of catchy songs churned out by Disney Channel and it affiliates. You either love 'em or you love to hate 'em. This year, you can still hear plenty of catchy new tunes on JONAS and the upcoming Hannah Montana 3 CD, but I think this summer is already saturated with JoBros tunes. So if you're looking for a pop song that'll have you bouncing off the walls, turn off the TV for a sec and get your sugar rush from an unaffiliated singer like Owl City. The lead single from his upcoming album Ocean Eyes is just as catchy and whimsical as the songs on any kids' show.
"Hot Air Balloon" by Owl City

The Song to Have a Picnic to:
I know everyone loves a sweet love song, but put the Jason Mraz album down and step away from the boombox. I for one have heard "I'm Yours" enough times in the past few months to last ten summers. Summer's a great time to branch out and listen to some new sweeties, like my personal fave NeverShoutNever. If the songs he's leaked so far are any indication, his upcoming release The Summer EP should be the quintessential soundtrack to the season. This track will make your heart melt more quickly than a popsicle dropped on the hot pavement:
"Hummingbird" by NeverShoutNever!

The Song to Chill by the Pool with:
The founders of Bishop Allen may be Harvard grads, but their music is a fun escape from academic tedium. A little string-filled eccentric, a little coffee-sipping hipster, and a lot of fun, you gotta check out
"Dimmer" by Bishop Allen

The Song to Blast in the Car:
What, no new release by Rooney this year? Since their next album is still in the works, I guess we can't rely on blasting any of their retro powerpop tunes from our stereos this summer... They're my fun car trip staples, but since I've listened to "When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" more times than any sane person should, I think it's time to take a break. Digging back into the pile of CD's under the dashboard, I suggest you try some of Relient K's older tunes. All the retro fun of Rooney with more eccentric lyrics. (Remember "Marilyn Manson ate my girlfriend"? It's kind of unforgettable...) I don't need a magazine to tell me I'm still in love with
"17 Magazine" by Relient K

The Slightly Guilty Pleasure:
It's summer. Blast that song you can't believe you love from your stereo and live a little... You saw Glee, right? No? Then you'd best hop over to its website and check out the pilot. It's like if they remade High School Musical with good writing, interesting adult characters, and better music, including a fantastic rendition of the Journey classic
"Don't Stop Believing" by the cast of Glee

The Crazy Rocker:
You know you downloaded it illegally. Or you're going to in about 5 seconds. I'll make it even easier by linking to a video with the download link. With a title like this, you gotta expect great things from
"Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous" by Cobra Starship

The Sneak Attack:
You know how earlier, I advised everyone to pass up the Jonas Brothers' pop fluff this summer? That would be because the JoBros have so many better songs to offer. With horns and some pretty rockin' guitars, I think these Disney boys are actually able to pull off a song titled "World War III." Really. I love 'em, but I never thought they'd have it in 'em. Based on the 30-second preview alone, I think this song could fight its way to the top of any respectable playlist:
"World War III" by the Jonas Brothers

Well, that should at least give you a good headstart on your summer playlist. I guess we'll just have to wait and see which songs zoom up to the top of your Most Played list and which fail to launch...

and enjoy the summer :)

I love Relient K.

Yo, twitter.com/relientk, your fave band has a special video message for you. Oh, and as for the rest of the world, their new "In the Studio" webisode might be of interest to you as well. I know I was pretty psyched to get an update from my favorite band that NEVER uses the Internet.

Basically, Relient K is at work on their new LP, giving all pop-Christian-punk fans another reason to live. As evident in the webisode, they are recording it in a be-yoo-tiful studio in Tennessee.

The only other real news I've heard from them is that you can now call them up and confess your undying love for their slightly ambiguous yet beautiful songs on their Say Now number, which is 615-866-4628.

And they are going on the world's most fabulous tour with my electropoppin' love, Owl City. Check his music out; it bears no resemblance Relient K's pop punk, but it's still gorgeous. Think NeverShoutNever joining The Postal Service. Unfortunately, they're touring the West Coast together, so no shows I could ever possibly attend. And their Winter Wonderslam tour only it the Southeast... They need to show the mid-Atlantic some more love. I know they were at the 9:30 Club five months ago, but still.

Anyways, watch their webisode here!!!

December's Over

When Kelly Clarkson released "My Life Would Suck Without You," reviewers everywhere rejoiced that the Kelly of "Since U Been Gone" was back and proclaimed that their lives sucked without her for the past two years since My December's sales were colder than its namesake. I thought their response seemed slightly inconsiderate. I always thought that you could only buy a one-way ticket to becoming a serious, pained artiste, and that once you ticked off the head of your label, you wouldn't go back to doing things the way he liked them without a fight. I thought Kelly's return to rockin' pop balladry signified her surrender to the evil forces of the industry and that she would be more of a shell of herself than she was on My December - except this time, she'd be cocooned in layers and layers of synths. (Hey, it usually works for Britney.)

I'd love to know how Kelly's been in the few years since her last No. 1 hit , but since I can't exactly call her up and ask how it feels to stop being America's Fave Pop Star, we'll just have to see what we can glean from her new album.

It seemed like Kelly spent the last two years in hibernation, licking her wounds after the world told her "personal break-up album? We don't listen for your feelings; we listen for your hooks!"

Album openers "My Life Would Suck Without You" and "I Do Not Hook Up" are as catchy as any of Kelly's previous songs, which could be a sign that she's given up on innovation, or that she just... likes pop music. She sounds as independent and happy as she did on "Since U Been Gone." Way more than she did on "Don't Waste Your Time"...

In fact, forget about comparing All I Ever Wanted to My December. It's like the strong pop-rock of Breakaway with an extra sugar coating. "Don't Let Me Stop You," "Long Shot," and "Impossible" all would have fit in well on Kelly's sophomore album, even though "Long Shot" was written by Katy Perry, Glen Ballard, and Matthew Thiessen (yes, that's THE Matthew Thiessen of Relient K. My mind was kind of blown when I found out he worked with Katy Perry... Actually, this knowledge made me totally disappointed in the song. Matty T and Katy are pretty much my songwriting dream team. Sure, they were young and inexperienced back when they recorded it in '05, but still. This should be some witty, insightful brilliance. I expect better next time.)

But, oh, um, back to Kelly. Girl tries on some different personas throughout the album, which are most notable in the juxtaposition between treacly ballad "Save You" and hard rocker "Whyyawannabringmedown." Yeah, Kelly Clarkson tries her hand at some serious rock, guitar solo included. It's not necessarily pretty... But not a complete embarrassment. Mostly just mind-blowing. I doubt I'll know what to think about it for a while...

Then again "Save You" isn't all that pretty either. It may boast a Mozart-inspired "experimental bridge," but gosh, it sounds like every other song on the world that has lyrics like "I wish I could save you/I wish I could say to you/I'm not going nowhere/I wish I could say to you/It's gonna be all right." I'm sure it's fine for what it is, but treacle tunes just aren't my thing.

Speaking of treacle tunes - "Cry," "Already Gone," and "If No One Will Listen" also contain as much sap as a gallon of maple syrup. But not in a really bad way, and not in the totally depressed style of her previous album. "Cry" sounds more like she's soaring through a cloudy sky than crawling up in a hole. And I actually really like "If No One Will Listen." It has the sparse production and great vocals I love in ballads by Marie Digby.

"If No One Will Listen" showcases Kelly's vocals well, unlike many other songs in the album. The slight vocal effects didn't bother me until I heard the beginning of "If I Can't Have You." I mean, she's Kelly freakin' Clarkson; she has one of the best voices Simon Cowell will ever discover.

Then I heard the rest of "If I Can't Have You" and realized that it suffered from a mild case of overproduction because, well, it's a 21st-century pop song. Love it or hate it, hyperproduction is to catchy pop as jelly is to peanut butter. There are some delicious peanut butter and banana sandwiches out there, but most kids are munching PB&J.

Yes, Kelly Clarkson is a pop star again. "If I Can't Have You" is a pop song with killer instrumentals and a chorus that can really only be described as dance-ilicious... Okay, I'm sure there are many real words that could describe the chorus, but really catchy dance pop makes it hard for me to remember vocab words. All I can say is, next single? Pretty please??

"Ready" and "I Want You" are more surprisingly sunny songs for Kelly, proving that spring really has sprung after the cold desolation of her December. And if the 14 songs on All I Ever Wanted haven't convinced you that Kelly and pop music have kissed and made up, look no further than the deluxe edition bonus tracks. "Tip of My Tongue" has a dash of Latin-pop spice that's just the recipe for sweet Top 40 success, and "The Day We Fell Apart" is pure pop fun with another dance-ilicious chorus. I was always a fair-weather Kelly Clarkson fan, and while my life might not have sucked without her, it certainly would suck without catchy, fun tunes like many of the ones on this album.