December's Over

When Kelly Clarkson released "My Life Would Suck Without You," reviewers everywhere rejoiced that the Kelly of "Since U Been Gone" was back and proclaimed that their lives sucked without her for the past two years since My December's sales were colder than its namesake. I thought their response seemed slightly inconsiderate. I always thought that you could only buy a one-way ticket to becoming a serious, pained artiste, and that once you ticked off the head of your label, you wouldn't go back to doing things the way he liked them without a fight. I thought Kelly's return to rockin' pop balladry signified her surrender to the evil forces of the industry and that she would be more of a shell of herself than she was on My December - except this time, she'd be cocooned in layers and layers of synths. (Hey, it usually works for Britney.)

I'd love to know how Kelly's been in the few years since her last No. 1 hit , but since I can't exactly call her up and ask how it feels to stop being America's Fave Pop Star, we'll just have to see what we can glean from her new album.

It seemed like Kelly spent the last two years in hibernation, licking her wounds after the world told her "personal break-up album? We don't listen for your feelings; we listen for your hooks!"

Album openers "My Life Would Suck Without You" and "I Do Not Hook Up" are as catchy as any of Kelly's previous songs, which could be a sign that she's given up on innovation, or that she just... likes pop music. She sounds as independent and happy as she did on "Since U Been Gone." Way more than she did on "Don't Waste Your Time"...

In fact, forget about comparing All I Ever Wanted to My December. It's like the strong pop-rock of Breakaway with an extra sugar coating. "Don't Let Me Stop You," "Long Shot," and "Impossible" all would have fit in well on Kelly's sophomore album, even though "Long Shot" was written by Katy Perry, Glen Ballard, and Matthew Thiessen (yes, that's THE Matthew Thiessen of Relient K. My mind was kind of blown when I found out he worked with Katy Perry... Actually, this knowledge made me totally disappointed in the song. Matty T and Katy are pretty much my songwriting dream team. Sure, they were young and inexperienced back when they recorded it in '05, but still. This should be some witty, insightful brilliance. I expect better next time.)

But, oh, um, back to Kelly. Girl tries on some different personas throughout the album, which are most notable in the juxtaposition between treacly ballad "Save You" and hard rocker "Whyyawannabringmedown." Yeah, Kelly Clarkson tries her hand at some serious rock, guitar solo included. It's not necessarily pretty... But not a complete embarrassment. Mostly just mind-blowing. I doubt I'll know what to think about it for a while...

Then again "Save You" isn't all that pretty either. It may boast a Mozart-inspired "experimental bridge," but gosh, it sounds like every other song on the world that has lyrics like "I wish I could save you/I wish I could say to you/I'm not going nowhere/I wish I could say to you/It's gonna be all right." I'm sure it's fine for what it is, but treacle tunes just aren't my thing.

Speaking of treacle tunes - "Cry," "Already Gone," and "If No One Will Listen" also contain as much sap as a gallon of maple syrup. But not in a really bad way, and not in the totally depressed style of her previous album. "Cry" sounds more like she's soaring through a cloudy sky than crawling up in a hole. And I actually really like "If No One Will Listen." It has the sparse production and great vocals I love in ballads by Marie Digby.

"If No One Will Listen" showcases Kelly's vocals well, unlike many other songs in the album. The slight vocal effects didn't bother me until I heard the beginning of "If I Can't Have You." I mean, she's Kelly freakin' Clarkson; she has one of the best voices Simon Cowell will ever discover.

Then I heard the rest of "If I Can't Have You" and realized that it suffered from a mild case of overproduction because, well, it's a 21st-century pop song. Love it or hate it, hyperproduction is to catchy pop as jelly is to peanut butter. There are some delicious peanut butter and banana sandwiches out there, but most kids are munching PB&J.

Yes, Kelly Clarkson is a pop star again. "If I Can't Have You" is a pop song with killer instrumentals and a chorus that can really only be described as dance-ilicious... Okay, I'm sure there are many real words that could describe the chorus, but really catchy dance pop makes it hard for me to remember vocab words. All I can say is, next single? Pretty please??

"Ready" and "I Want You" are more surprisingly sunny songs for Kelly, proving that spring really has sprung after the cold desolation of her December. And if the 14 songs on All I Ever Wanted haven't convinced you that Kelly and pop music have kissed and made up, look no further than the deluxe edition bonus tracks. "Tip of My Tongue" has a dash of Latin-pop spice that's just the recipe for sweet Top 40 success, and "The Day We Fell Apart" is pure pop fun with another dance-ilicious chorus. I was always a fair-weather Kelly Clarkson fan, and while my life might not have sucked without her, it certainly would suck without catchy, fun tunes like many of the ones on this album.