PerfectoPop

2010: Year of the Shockingly Honest Drunkard/Druggie Chicks (and other top albums)

2011-01-10T10:57:00.020-05:00

The search for a distinctive trend to define 2010 can be a bit depressing in a year in which most top 40 hits were concerned only with getting down on the floor and extolling the virtues of alcohol and sex,but who are we kidding? That describes just about every year this millennium. 2010 wasn't quite as enamored with autotune as its most recent predecessors. In 2009, Lady Gaga raised the bar for shocking pop music with her gory live performances, but in this year, Gaga took a much-needed break from the spotlight (meat dress notwithstanding). Since other pop stars couldn't rely on gallons of fake blood to attract audience's attention (though we give M.I.A. props for trying), they had to turn to a more conventional outlet for musical showmanship: lyrics.

This year, two fresh faces stood out in two markedly different crowds: while Ke$ha dominated the charts with incredibly catchy songs about hard partying and a notorious line about brushing her teeth, Best Coast won the hearts of hipsters with incredibly catchy songs about getting high and a notorious line about talking cats. The success of these two young ladies, who sound totally different yet both rely on ear-worms and polarizing lyrics, can define 2010 as the Year of the Shockingly Honest Drunkard/Druggie Chicks.

Chances are that if you've been at all exposed to radio signals or teenage girls, you've developed both a burning hatred and a strange affection for Ke$ha's party anthem "Tik Tok." After all, it was the year's most-played song on top 40 stations according to Mediabase (I'm still looking for the chart online, but I read it in USA Today). Sure, its success can be partially attributed to its chorus that won't leave your head until a Justin Bieber song comes in to replace it and its perfectly adequate dance beat. But I like to think that in a year when Katy Perry took a break from humorously honest ruminations on kissing girls and waking up in Vegas to focus on unoriginal tunes about how hot California girls are and how everyone is a firework, Ke$ha took over as the queen of candid pop songs. Of all the pop stars extolling the virtues of hard liquor and casual sex, Ke$ha is the most blunt and gleefully non-apologetic (not to mention the only one who even touches on the subject of strippers in drag). Although she took some flack because "We R Who We R" is practically a sonic clone of "Tik Tok" and her new "mini-album" Cannibal pales in comparison last year's solid pop album Animal, there's no denying that Ke$ha was one of the brightest new stars this year - even if there's not much substance under the glitter.

Of course, Ke$ha's certainly not everyone's cup of tea, and although she boasts in "We R Who We R" that she and her friend make the hipsters fall in love, she'll have her work cut out for her tearing them away from Best Coast's Bethany Cosentino. Cosentino and her band have already won the hearts of critics everywhere, not to mention famous folks ranging from Jerry Seinfeld to Bruce Springsteen. Cosentino may be best known as the girl who wishes her cat could talk (but really, is that such a strange desire?) Though critics like to focus on her candid, stream-of-consciousness lyrics, they often neglect to mention that half her charm lies in her voice and simple yet catchy chord progressions. With a voice that's a dead ringer for Jenny Lewis and arrangements that resemble Rilo Kiley's janglier tunes mixed with a dash of She & Him's retro California crooning, it's no wonder Cosentino is the latest indie darling.

The one problem I have with Best Coast's delightful under-three-minute gems is that they tend to blend together into one half-hour-long track, which gets a bit tedious after a while. Though Ke$ha and Best Coast make up one of the defining trends of 2010, they didn't make two of the best albums of the year. In my opinion, a great album has an overarching theme or mood, but experiments with different genres within that mood. The best album this year was The Suburbs by the Arcade Fire.

The one problem I have with Best Coast's delightful under-three-minute gems is that they tend to blend together into one half-hour-long track, which gets a bit tedious after a while. A great album needs more experimentation with different genres, like how No Age's album Everything in Between contains one of the most exhilarating rock tracks I heard this year, "Fever Dreaming," and and two of the most moving ambient tracks, "Dusted" and "Positive Amputation."

But the most stark contrast of genres within an album this year was two of the last tracks in Arcade Fire's superb album The Suburbs. The sparse guitar and subtle strings of "Spraw I (Flatland)" and the electrifying synth-rock of "Spraw II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" are equally beautiful yet as different as night and day. On the album, the band brilliantly toggles between virtually every variant of rock music, from the upbeat piano rock of "The Suburbs" to the dark, twisting rock of "Ready to Start" to the frenetic strings of "Empty Room." The album explores the suppressed anger, dissatisfaction, and vague fear of an art school graduate making his way in the world of suburbia. But although the band uses many styles of music, these feelings give it an overarching, unifying mood. The lyrics aren't necessary to understand the story; the music's atmosphere alone is sufficient.

This is in stark contrast with the second-best concept album of the year, Janelle Monae's giddy, genre-hopping story of The ArchAndroid. Monae dabbles in everything from orchestral pieces to old-school hip-hop (Wikipedia has a great list of all the genres included). Although she's better at some parts of the musical spectrum than others (the area around dreary ballads is a particular weak point), Monae creates the most comprehensive yet fun pop album of the year. The ArchAndroid tells the story of Cindy Mayweather, a messianic android sent from the future to save... other androids? Humanity? Freedom and love? Not that the casual listener would ever be able to figure out what's going on just by listening to the album. To tell the full story, Monae may need to release a series of comic books like prog-rock band Coheed & Cambria. But even though it's not always clear what exactly Cindy Mayweather is up to, it's always a joy to listen to Monae's statements about individuality, discrimination, and oppression, buried in cocoons of breath-taking pop and neo-soul.

Part of what makes The ArchAndroid great is the eclectic group of collaborators Janelle Monae enlists, ranging from hip-hop heavyweight Big Boi to eccentric indie stalwart Of Montreal. But Monae doesn't just ask for help with her albums; this year, she appeared on both Big Boi and Of Montreal's new albums. But my favorite Monae appearance was on B.o.B's terrific debut The Adventures of Bobby Ray. He may not be as much of a sci-fi fan as Monae, but B.o.B is almost as eclectic when it comes to incorporating different styles of music into his album. B.o.B enlists hip-hop legends like T.I. and Eminem, but he also reaches out to unconventional collaborators like Paramore's Hayley Williams and Weezer's Rivers Cuomo. B.o.B distinguishes himself from other rappers with his incredibly catchy choruses (getting "Airplanes" out of your head is as herculean a task as getting "Tik Tok" out) but more importantly, his ability to incorporate different genres and play to the strengths of each of his collaborators. Though he can still create a great rap song like "Bet I" (featuring T.I. and Playboy Tre), he can create an equally stunning remake of Vampire Weekend's "The Kids Don't Stand a Chance" (re-titled "The Kids," and featuring a Matrix-referencing message perfectly suited to collaborator Janelle Monae).

Of course, B.o.B's most famous collaborator I haven't mentioned yet is Bruno Mars, the angelic voice behind the hook of "Nothin' On You," one of many hits he helped craft this year. Mars proved his hit-making ability by co-writing Travie McCoy's lazy, reggae-tinged hit "Billionaire" and Cee-Lo Green's funky, jubilant "Fuck You." On his breezy debut album Doo-Wops & Hooligans, Mars creates potential hits while appearing about as stressed as a man lounging in a hammock. From the lovesick pain of "Grenade" to the blissful lethargy of "The Lazy Song," Mars covers a variety of emotions while maintaining a carefree aura. His enduring optimism reveals itself best in "Liquor Store Blues," where he croons "get messed up today; I'll be okay tomorrow." Though his "blues" sound about as sad as a puppy that lost its chew toy, Mars excels at happy songs like the delightful "Marry You" and the Chuck Berry-esque "Runaway Baby."

"Runaway Baby" sounds like it could be a companion to a number of songs in V.V. Brown's album Travelling Like the Light. Although Brown is best known for the breezy summer hit "Shark in the Water," the album is filled with higher-energy songs resembling fifties rock & roll. It's a shame the UK native's "indie doo-wop schtick" (I just couldn't phrase that better than PopJustice did) hasn't really caught on in Europe and has made even less of an impression in the States. It's just as easy to dance to as the electropop and hip-hop that dominated American airwaves this year, but infinitely more enjoyable.

While we're on the subject of ladies that are more popular on the other side of the pond, I would be remiss not to mention Sweden's long-reigning dance-pop princess Robyn. This year, Robyn released the most recent album in her decade-and-a-half-long career, Body Talk, in three installments. In Body Talk, Robyn both embraces and pokes fun at the recent trend of pop stars pretending to be robots. (In the album's most fun track, "Fembot," she boasts that she is a robot with "automatic booty applications.") But despite her Back to the Future references and unusual beats, Robyn's tunes are rooted in conventional pop melodies and structures (excluding the oddly experimental "Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do," in which she sounds like a pop star robot that's malfunctioning). Despite what some adoring critics say, Robyn isn't a superior model of pop star; she's just programmed a bit better than the rest of them.

Many of Robyn's songs have beats that are a bit too slow and experimental to make for good dancing, but if you'd like to get people moving, I'd suggest Chromeo's Business Casual. Chromeo's latest songs are reliably danceable, but with the exception of the surprisingly breezy "J'ai claque la porte," they rarely stray far from the grooves of their previous releases.

In contrast, Hot Chip released a less party-friendly but more ambitious electronic album. On One Life Stand, the band deftly weaves Alexis Taylor's gentle vocals among delicate layers of instrumentals. This intricately designed album is, as Taylor described it, their most cohesive, warm, and soulful album yet.

It's always seemed inappropriate to compare Hellogoodbye's pounding, pop-punk-esque synthpop with the refined electropop of bands like Hot Chip, but now, such distinctions within the genre will no longer be necessary. On their sophomore album, Would It Kill You?, Hellogoodbye trade in their synthesizers and vocoders (not to mention most of the members that were around for their debut album, Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!) to focus on string instruments (plus drums). The resulting jangly indie power-pop sound is often heart-pounding, especially as they giddily speed through tracks like "Finding Something to Do" and "When We First Met."

But even Hellogoodbye can't top the rush of one of the most exhilarating indie pop albums of the year, Two Door Cinema Club's intoxicating debut album Tourist History. The album's unrelenting pace and unfailingly catchy choruses caught hipsters' attention this year, and while the band still isn't very widely known, it seems they've got a blindingly bright future ahead of them.

Hopefully Two Door Cinema Club will gain some fans this winter, as they head out of tour with their sonic older brothers Tokyo Police Club. Tokyo Police Club are famous for giving fans similar adrenaline rushes through songs like "Your English Is Good," but on their latest album, Champ, the band slowed down and matured a bit. Though they still have high-energy songs like "Wait Up (Boots of Danger)" and "Bambi," they also take it down a notch on the mellow "Hands Reversed" and melancholic "End of a Spark," all without losing their boyish charm.

This summer, Tokyo Police Club toured with my favorite new band of the year, Freelance Whales. On their enchanting debut album Weathervanes, the band tells the story of a young boy who falls in love with the ghost that haunts his house. But most importantly, despite their often nonsensical lyrics, Freelance Whales create an atmosphere in which the listener feels engulfed in the story. With their eclectic array of instruments, the band doesn't so much tell a story as create a world that can be bright or dark but always hearkens back to a simpler era viewed through rose-colored glasses.

And now for the moment you've all been waiting for... You've read about 15 of my favorite artists of 2010, now here are my 25 favorite albums of the year:

Honorable Mentions

Broken Bells - Broken Bells

Bruno Mars - Doo-Wops & Hooligans

Bt - These Hopeful Machines

Jenny & Johnny - I'm Having Fun Now

NeverShoutNever - Harmony and What is Love?

No Age - Everything in Between

Passion Pit - The Reeling

Robyn - Body Talk

Sky Sailing - An Airplane Carried Me to Bed

You Me and Everyone We Know - Some Things Don't Wash Out

My Top 15 Albums of 2010

15. Girl Talk - All Day

14. V.V. Brown - Travelling Like the Light

13. Hellogoodbye - Would It Kill You?

12. Chromeo - Business Casual

11. Tokyo Police Club - Champ

10. Vampire Weekend - Contra

9. Hot Chip - One Life Stand

8. Taylor Swift - Speak Now

7. Best Coast - Crazy For You

6. B.o.B - The Adventures of Bobby Ray

5. Beach House - Teen Dream

4. Two Door Cinema Club - Tourist History

3. Freelance Whales - Weathervanes

2. Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid

1. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Oh, and before you rip this list to shreds in the comments section, I would like to note that this is a pop music blog, and I reserve the right to define Arcade Fire as "pop" because, you know, indie rock is similar to indie pop, which is a form of pop music. I also reserve the right to say that even though critics agree that Kanye's new album is perfection incarnate, I define it as rap, not pop. But B.o.B is pop. And I am totally not just saying that because I don't "get" Kanye's album and thought the three songs I listened to were lengthy and overproduced... Anyways... Yeah, go at it.

Your English Is Good (But Your Set Was Fantastic)

2010-07-30T15:05:00.013-04:00

Several months ago, I read Entertainment Weekly describe Freelance Whales’ album Weathervanes as “the best electronic indie-pop debut since Ben Gibbard last tuned his laptop” The view from the windows of my train of thought looked a bit like this:
YAY, I LOVE THE POSTAL SERVI- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT HONOR DEFINITELY GOES TO ADAM YOUNG FOR OF JUNE! Oh well, might as well listen to it anyways. Just so I’ll be well-informed when defending the honor of Owl City.

Upon listening to the album, however, I found the description of the music as “electronic” about as insulting as this slight to Adam Young. Freelance Whales employ a ragtag bunch of instruments, and singling out the laptop as the most important would be like saying the catcher is the star of the baseball team. Sure, he plays an important role, but his teammates are a far more interesting bunch. And Freelance Whales certainly has an eye-popping line-up: glockenspiels, harmoniums, and many, many more I’ll probably never identify. This team was put to great use crafting both happy and haunting tunes about, as the band’s website explains, a young boy in love with an elusive ghost who haunts his home.

After listening to their enchanting album many more times than I would like to count, when I read in my Ticket Alternative newsletter that they were opening for Tokyo Police Club, I jumped on the chance to buy those tickets like a child who’s been waiting in line for 20 minutes to use the trampoline during gymnastics camp. (I often jumped on trampolines like that in summers of my youth.)

Several months later when the concert finally rolled around, my trusty concert buddy and I found ourselves with an extra ticket and few friends in town. Seeing no other options, my friend turned to a bold new ticket-selling frontier: Craigslist. Apparently paying $20 for a ticket to a sold-out $18 concert is quite the deal, so we soon sold it.

Like the naive little girls we are, we thought it would be pretty easy to spot our mystery customer outside the club if we arrived half an hour before doors. Like, who shows up early for a Tokyo Police Club show?

Oh, only about a hundred people.

Thanks to the magic of cell phones, we managed to meet up with her. While she drove around the block in search of parking, I noticed the walls of the building were covered in posters for Lightfoot’s upcoming show. Since Jessica Louise Dye is kind of my best buddy, I took a picture of one of the posters, just in case I want to continue admiring it in the comfort of my own home. Here, you can admire it in the comfort of your own home (or office or hotel room or other favorite place with Internet access) too:

As we entered the club, our customer, who was several years older than us and began to refer to herself as our “chaperone,” joined us started talking about how excited she was to see R. Kells. I briefly became concerned that she thought she had bought R. Kelly tickets, but it turned out that after I bought the tickets, a band called Arkells was added to the line-up, and no one told me. That made much more sense than Tokyo Police Club sharing the stage with R. Kelly.

I was pretty excited to add the Black Cat to my list of venues I’ve been to DC. Since they tend to attract indie bands even I’ve never heard of, I was expecting it to be about on par with Rock & Roll Hotel: dark, stuffy, and the size of a walk-in closet.

Oh mighty Black Cat, I’m sorry I ever doubted you.

The interior of the club was gorgeous. With its black-and-white checkerboard floor and soft yellow lighting, it looked more like an elegant hotel lobby than a hotel room’s closet. And best of all, despite the monstrous line to get in, the stage area was nearly empty.

Okay, actually, the best part was the low ceiling, which was uncovered so you could see the ducts and air-conditioning vents. I thought 930 Club’s AC was as good as that of any club you could find, but their high ceiling and balconies give them a huge disadvantage compared to single-story places like Black Cat. At Black Cat, you could see the vents to plan the optimal air conditioned spot, then feel the cold, glorious air gushing down on you, as close to paradise as any area jam-packed with dancing people can be.

My friend, our “chaperone,” and I ended up with second- and third-row spots a bit too close to the speakers for comfort, then waited for Arkells to come on while our chaperone educated us on why Canada is the most superior country on Earth. Personally, I’ve always thought a significant part of why Canada is so superior is that Canadians rarely brag about their superiority, but hey, maybe that’s just me. One of her reasons why Canada is Heaven on Earth is that they have amazing bands, such as Arkells. Apparently the band is quite popular amongst our Northern neighbors, and they had an epic duet with Ke$ha during the Much Music after party. I can’t find it on YouTube, but it’s out there somewhere.

When Arkells finally took the stage, it was easy to believe they were a hit in Canada. Their lead singer Max Kerman’s male-model looks alone could have earned his picture a spot in teenage girls’ bedroom walls, and the band’s combination of solid rock songs that were by turns upbeat and moody certainly didn’t hurt.

Besides his striking good looks and rugged croon, Kerman had a great sense of humor to boot. His between-set remarks drew laughter from the audience multiple times. Sure, sometimes the crowd was laughing at him rather than with him, such as when he tried to guess the Black Cat’s location (“Columbia? Potomac?”), but it was all good-natured. When bassist Nick Dika had to replace a string, Kerman filled the awkward silence by jokingly chastising him for stopping the party, since Tokyo Police Club said they wouldn’t get paid if they stopped the party.

Despite their brooding lyrics in songs about personal and political struggles, Arkells were at their best when they were rocking out and having fun. The fast-paced “Heart of the City” was a stand-out because of its driving guitars and strong beat, not its lyrics on heartbreak. In “No Champagne Socialist,” multi-instrumentalist Dan Griffin played a catchy harmonica riff, giving the song about a young man trying to represent the working class a fun, bluesy feel. The “hey hey hey”s in the chorus of the upbeat, piano-driven “Ballad of Hugo Chavez”’s were more memorable than the song’s ruminations on solitary confinement, but hey, making your meaningful songs rock is hardly a crime.

Near the end of the set, Kerman engaged the audience in a sort of call-and-response in the moody “Oh, the Boss is Coming!” Kerman yelped “Punching in,” and the audience shouted back “Punching out!” The crowd seemed most enchanted, however, with Kerman’s Beatles-referencing moments, such as the song “John Lennon,” in which he repeatedly crooned “I’m John Lennon in ’67” over punchy pianos. Kerman seemed most in tune with the crowd when he quoted the opening lines to “Eleanor Rigby” and the whole crowd sang along to “I look at all the lonely people.”

After Arkells exited the stage, our “chaperone” left as well to go hang out with them at their merch stand. Her spot was quickly filled by the surging crowd. I doubted the crowd was truly that interested in Freelance Whales and began to dread the pre-Tokyo Police Club rush.

Freelance Whales set up an odd array of instruments used to craft their eclectic, folksy sound. The night’s line-up included a banjo, a glockenspiel, and a percussive instrument that looked like a whisk that got in a fight with a carving knife. They began playing through Weathervanes from the beginning: slow-building opener “Generator^First Floor,” followed by the cheerful and quirky “Hannah,” the soothing “Location,” and the bouncy electronic tune “Starring.” To my disappointment, they stopped short of my favorite song, “Kilojoules,” and skipped to songs later on the album. I decided that since the sunny, hand-clapping “Kilojoules” is arguably the most fun song on the album, it would be best if they saved it for last.

Since I’d never seen a picture of the band, I was surprised at their diverse appearance. Their line-up included a woman in a mod polka-dot dress, a man whose yellow headband screamed jock, and a man whose newsboy cap and beard screamed hippie. Their eclectic outfits, however, suited the odd variety of sounds on the album. Their lead singer, Judah Dadone, wore a gray button-down shirt and large glasses that, with his dark, curly hair made him look like a dead ringer for Leonard from The Big Bang Theory.

While we’re comparing the band members to TV characters, I have to say that Kevin Read’s yellow headband was pure Paulie Bleeker from Juno, and Doris Cellar could easily have been Zooey Deschanel’s double in (500) Days of Summer. The jury’s still out on Chuck Criss and Jake Hyman. What do you think?

As I was saying, between Dadone’s nerdy charm, quirky lyrics, and the adorable way he smiled while singing, I must confess, I’m a little bit in love.

It was hard to judge whether the rest of the crowd was similarly enamored. By some miracle, I happened to be standing near a couple that were dancing along to the music. The girl behind us graciously moved back a little after I spent the first few songs sort of leaning in front of her to see around the tall guy in front of me, so then I could dance next to the dancing couple, instead of awkwardly by myself. My friend and I both thought that it sounded to us like lots of members of the crowd were singing along, but whenever we looked around, I was the only one.

Then again, our ears weren’t in the best shape. We were approximately ten feet from the speakers. Although Arkells played much more rollicking songs than Freelance Whales, Arkells played theirs at a reasonable volume. Whereas on their album, some Freelance Whales songs start soft and gradually build, in concert, these songs start ear-splitting, and if their volume increases, the change is canceled out by the gradual deterioration of the audience’s hearing.

The latter half of the set was a bit easier on the ears as Freelance Whales played their more subdued songs. “Broken Horse” and “Ghosting” were both stand-outs for their lyrics that were nonsensical yet sensitive. In concert, the band extended some of the instrumentals and repeated vocals more than on the album, giving some songs long, languishing intros and outros, which made the show very fluid. The transitions were also eased by the fact that the band spent little time talking between songs. Dadone told the crowd that playing in DC was special to him since he attended George Washington University. While the band was switching instruments between songs, Cellar made a comment about how much she enjoys the glockenspiel, though her voice was nearly drowned out by the sound of her bandmates tuning their insanely loud instruments.

They played “Kilojoules” as the second-to-last song of the set. I listened to the two verses and chorus and silently prayed they would repeat some of them. They played a long outro that wasn’t as catchy or fun as the rest of the song, and I desperately prayed that they would repeat the chorus. Alas, they did not, and they played another song after it that I don’t remember at all because I spent the whole time wishing they would play “Kilojoules” again. I decided that no one should ever give me a time machine because I would just use it to listen to them play that song again. And again. And again.

The only disappointing thing about their set was that they didn’t grow a forest on stage or reanimate any dead girls while wearing Day of the Dead masks. Wait, did that sentence not make sense to you? Then you need to see this video.

Freelance Whales - Generator 2nd Floor

Freelance Whales | MySpace Music Videos

They seemed much more normal in person, I swear.

After Freelance Whales’ set ended, my friend and I wondered aloud how much longer our ears and feet could stand all this standing near the speakers, but we decided to stay for at least some of Tokyo Police Club’s set. Meanwhile, the guys next to me started getting restless and pushing each other around. Four guys, near the stage, all friends, all starting to move around already - I thought these were prime conditions for mosh pit formation and figured we wouldn’t last three songs.

As I’ve said, predicting mosh pits is an art I have yet to master. I am happy to say that my prediction was totally wrong. The guys near me jumped around and danced, but they were remarkably good at staying in place and respecting other people’s space. There was a tiny rush toward the stage that left us with lots of room, I was right under the air conditioner, and the guy closest to me did some adorable fifties-style dancing instead of the usual fist-pumping. It made for the most delightful dancing experience I’ve ever had. Sure, my ears were probably going to fall off and get lost on the floor, but it was worth it.

And it wasn’t just the crowd that surprised me - I was a bit blown away by how fun Tokyo Police Club’s music sounded live. They began the set with “Favourite Colour” and continued to play most, if not all, of their latest album, Champ, as well as several songs from Elephant Shell. Although there were no major stylistic changes between the album versions and live versions, there was a little more of that spark of life to them. Chill songs like “Hands Reversed” became laid-back dance songs, and fast songs like “Wait Up (Boots of Danger)” sounded more energetic than ever. It’s hard to say whether the change was caused by the energy of the crowd, Dave Monks’ focus on the songs, the colorful stage lights the band was enveloped in, or a combination of the three.

Dressed in a plain white t-shirt, Monks kept his long hair in front of his face for most of the set, but he managed to keep the crowd captivated despite the fact that they could rarely glimpse his eyes. He wasn’t distracted by small talk or show-offy antics, only raising his guitar and shredding right in front of the crowd a handful of times throughout the set. However, the band had enough great songs that they didn’t need any gimmicks. The bright colored lights surrounding the stage and flashing at migraine-inducing speeds near the end of the set were by far the flashiest thing about it.

One of the band’s most charming displays of humility was their decision to include their most popular song, “Your English Is Good,” as part of the set instead of the encore. When they were finished playing, there was no awkward pause when the crowd stops cheering and waits expectantly for the encore they know the band will give no matter how quiet the crowd is. The crowd kept cheering the entire time until the band came back onstage for the two-song encore they earned.

During the set, I marveled at how good they sounded and how great the crowd was (and how long some guys can jump up and down without getting stomachaches - oh, how I envy them). There were two girls, however, that showed just how easy it is to ruin a terrific set for those around them.

Around the middle of the set, I felt something cold and wet on my arm and looked down to see a girl who had muscled her way into the fourth row next to me. By the way she was holding an empty glass, I speculated that she had bought so many drinks she could afford to pour one over herself. Then she started loudly complaining about how someone spilled their drink on her. I soon began to suspect it wasn’t an accidental spill so much as the liquid residue of popping someone’s personal bubble. Luckily for me, she and her friend soon decided the fourth row wasn’t good enough for them, so they muscled their way into the second row, right by our “chaperone,” who had returned from her chat with Arkells. My friend fought valiantly to keep them out, but finally our chaperone sarcastically told them that if they could find enough space to stand in front of her, they could go.

Never dare someone to squeeze into nonexistent space by the stage. It’s like giving dessert to a kid who says they’re too full to eat more vegetables. They’ll always find room.

Although none of the rowdy boys standing near me ever tried to mosh, one of these girls did. Well, she was either trying to mosh, or grind on all three boys around her at the same time.

After the set, the girls left a few feet ahead of my friend, our chaperone, and myself. As we walked, our chaperone loudly commented that they were a “stupid, entitled horse.” Except she pronounced “horse” in a funny way.

We made our way over to the merch stand because my friend and I wanted to buy CDs by all three of the bands. Our chaperone was still a bit miffed that her conversation with the lead singer of Arkells hadn’t gone so well earlier, and she thought he was a bit pretentious. Still, we bought their CDs, asked them to sign them, and asked for a picture. When I was standing in line and told their [incredibly burning hot] lead singer that they were amazing, he thanked me, introduced himself, and shook my hand. I think you should be proud of me for not fainting. I am.

After that, my friend and I bought Freelance Whales and Tokyo Police Club’s CDs - $12 for both, an amazing deal that made up for the fact that before the show, I stupidly bought 4 Tokyo Police Club pins for $1 apiece. They weren’t even big pins. I don’t even have anything to put them on. But they came with a free poster, so it wasn’t so bad.

Two members of Freelance Whales were working their merch table, so I asked for their autographs, too. One of them signed the CD then gave it to their lead singer, who was in front of the table talking to someone. After he signed it, he gave it back to me. I tried to take this opportunity to convey that I think Freelance Whales is one of the greatest bands in the world, and I absolutely adore their music, and I could listen to “Kilojoules” on repeat for a million years, and I have attempted to do so on several occasions but given up after about 20 minutes, but it was hard to declare my love for him when he was being so darn humble, always thanking me for coming to the show and buying the album and all. Our conversation wasn’t nearly as long as I’d hoped it would be, but I think that had it continued, it might have devolved into an endless cycle of
“Thank you for coming to the show.”
“Thank you for playing such an awesome show.”
“Thank you for buying the album.”
“Thank you for recording such a great album.”
“Thank you; we love you for being a fan.”
“THANK YOU MORE; I LOVE YOU MORE.”
“Thank you-”
“THANK YOU TIMES INIFNITY!!!! Ha, I win!”

Anyways, he shook my hand and introduced himself to me (Judah, in case you forgot). I blame all these introductions on an incredible amount of luck and perhaps a bit of good karma, though it later occurred to me that the shirt I wore to this concert was much lower-cut than the shirts I typically wear to concerts, and I have spent several hours watching bands at Warped Tour totally ignore me in my t-shirt to talk to my friend in her tank top. If that’s why I got two handshakes at this show, I think I’ll go paper-cut my wrists with some feminist manifestos about how fashion and standards of beauty are ridiculous and boys are stupid.

I like to think that Judah could tell I’m kind of madly in love with them, though. He was so nice that after our little conversation, I decided that in the indescribably tragic event that Adam Young, Ben Gibbard, and Mika all die, Judah Dadone will assume the position of Love of My Life.

So after that, I could have been nice and talked to the two underappreciated members of Freelance Whales, but I spotted my dad waiting by the door and decided it was time to leave. He had come in time to see the end of Tokyo Police Club’s set, and his insight was that they sound like Al Stewart, the seventies rocker best known for his hit “Year of the Cat.” Stewart doesn’t have Monks’ pleasantly whiny growl (yes I am aware that sounds like an oxymoron), but I suppose the comparison isn’t too far-fetched. I wish I had my dad’s historical perspective on Arkells’ music, since I’m pretty sure they owe a great deal to some seventies rockers, but I’m not entirely sure which ones. Freelance Whales, on the other hand, seem pretty darn original.

Wet Hot American Concert

2010-05-12T11:09:00.000-04:00

I know it’s one of the top-rated music clubs in the country (and a favorite of Gabe Saporta - more on that later), but I’m starting to think the 930 Club isn’t a safe place for me.

My trip to see Cobra Starship, 3OH!3, Travie McCoy (of Gym Class Heroes fame), and I Fight Dragons began much like my visit to the 930 Club over a year earlier to see the Ting Tings: my dad dropped my friend and I off at the end of the block, which just so happened to be the end of the line to get in. We hopped out and got in line, admiring the tour buses parked right next to us. Those weren’t there for The Ting Tings and Hottub.

Since it was the mid-May, I decided to leave my sweatshirt in the car, and although it was mid-May, within minutes, I was shivering and my friend was getting scared for me. Just like at Owl City, except this time, there wasn’t a nice area for me to run laps in to warm up.

When we got into the club, we were not offered cupcakes, so my bitter grudge against all my friends who have been served cupcakes at the 930 Club is now stronger than ever. My friend grabbed us a spot about five people from the stage while I hit the merch stands. Then I ducked into the Little Mermaid’s room and did not encounter any drunk birthday girls. Pity.

One of the reasons my friend and I had spent the past year desperately dreaming of attending a Cobra Starship concert was because we figured that unlike many crowds we’ve encountered, Cobra fans would know how to party. A girl standing behind us confirmed these assumptions when she started loudly explaining to her companion that she can’t stop herself from dancing whenever she heard something with a beat. She then went from cool-party-girl to crazy-party-girl when she started describing how her behavior on a camping trip earned her the moniker Drinks With Wolves. Then she went from crazy-party-girl to flat-out-crazy when she started talking about a grisly murder scene. Fun crowd.

(Click on images to admire them in full-screen splendor.)

I had told Brittany about how I Fight Dragons play music on their Gameboys, so when they came on, we were more psyched to see them than most of the crowd was. But the most psyched person in the club appeared to be the girl next to us, who sang along to every word of every song. Like with the Paper Route fans, I sang along to the choruses and felt unworthy of being in her presence.

Sadly, I Fight Dragons was not dressed like superheroes or video game characters, as they are in many performances I saw videos of online. Most of them wore ordinary clothes, like button-down plaid shirts. Two notable exceptions were their token sexy girl, a cute redhead in a top that bared quite a bit of midriff. Hey, I guess if you’re going to have a girl in your nerd-rock band, you might as well take advantage of all her abilities.

Though she was probably a favorite with the men in the audience, my favorite member was the man in charge of their NES Command Center. He was dressed in a shiny jacket and sunglasses that looked like they could have come from a Neo Halloween costume, and I mean that in the best way possible. But even cooler than the way he looked like he’d escaped from the Matrix was his Command Center. It looked as though the band found Doc Ock’s dead body, removed the human body parts, then put their instruments on the ends of his tentacles to store them while they played other ones. It looked really sweet.

I Fight Dragons played every song on their EP Cool is Just a Number, then demonstrated how their chiptune instruments work to prove they really were playing them live. The lead singer played one, and the girl played her supercool glove.

I liked the chiptune part of their act, but I had trouble dancing to their songs. They just didn’t quite work for jumping or dancing. I didn’t feel too bad about my inability to dance to them, though, because I noticed that the self-proclaimed unstoppable dancer, Drinks With Wolves, was not dancing at all.

After I Fight Dragons’ set was over and they told us we could meet them at the merch stand after the show, they started setting up for Travie McCoy. They took down the TV screens I couldn’t really see that probably showed videogame characters fighting dragons. Travie’s set consisted most notably of a big picture of his album art and a microphone stand that lit up. Ooooh...

Travie came out carrying three big, white balloons that looked really incredibly bright under the spotlight. He sang a bunch of songs whose names I don’t remember because the only song he’s released so far under his solo project is “Billionaire.” I expected his entire set to be him and an acoustic guitar or ukulele, playing cute little songs like “Billionaire,” but he had a drummer and a DJ with him. I think he introduced both of them as members of Gym Class Heroes, but don’t quote me on that. His music was more hip-hop-leaning than I expected based on “Billionaire,” and they sounded quite a bit like... Gym Class Heroes songs. I have no idea why he didn’t just bring the full band with him and release these songs as a new GCH album. I’ll have to investigate.

Not to brag or anything, but after playing two or three songs, Travie said that even though he’d only played a few songs, we had already made this the best show on the tour. Not to totally shove it in your faces, but he said he loved how much energy we had even though we had never heard any of these songs before. Not to say we’re way cooler than all the other cities, but he pretty much loved us... Or was a really good liar.

Near the end of the set, Travie sang “Billionaire.” But he didn’t really sing it. The DJ played the song with Travie’s recorded vocals while Travie sporadically sang and rapped and talked to the crowd. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard, but I was quite looking forward to seeing him sing it with his acoustic guitar and/or ukulele...

Oh, and as if the color-changing light-up mic stand wasn't enough, the tips of the drumsticks lit up too.

After Travie’s set ended, there was a mid-size surge toward the stage, presumably so everyone could get close enough to kiss Gabe Saporta’s awesome ass (and smile while doing so). Thus, my friend and I went from being five people away from the stage to nine people away without actually losing any ground. Isn’t it amazing how that happens?

That’s not to say we didn’t fight to hold our ground. I tried my best to shift my weight around so one surging battalion would be stopped just behind us. After a few minutes, their front lines broke through, but I tried to angle myself to cut them off and stop them there.

This silent battle was made all the more passive-aggressive by the fact that they were playing Ke$ha and Jay Sean, so everyone was kind of dancing while trying to save their energy for Cobra’s set. I got in a long skirmish with the battalion’s second line in which he would move so that his shoulder was in front of mine and he could slip through, then I would turn and dance so that my shoulder was back in front of his and he was effectively trapped behind me. The Battle of the Shoulders continued for the majority of “Tik Tok” and some of the next song. After a while, he relented and I suffered an attack from the rear. Specifically, his female friend pressed herself right up against my rear.

When faced with a girl trying to push you around by shoving her boobs into your back, you have a few options: move forward and shove your boobs into someone else’s back, setting off an unstoppable domino effect, or hold your ground and wait until she becomes uncomfortable enough to relent. Although I was internally shrieking “THIS CHICK’S BOOBS ARE ALL UP ON ME, AND I AM SO HETEROSEXUAL IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE,” I could not let her win this power play. If she wanted to stand awkwardly close to me, she would have to suffer the awkward consequences.

After several of the least comfortable minutes of my life, she let up a little, and I no longer felt like I was being anal-raped. Her male friend (the one I engaged in the Battle of the Shoulders with) then began doing some weird hand movements directly above my shoulder that didn't quite touch me but sort of tickled. He then began running his hands through my ponytail, but since my hair fortunately does not have nerve endings, I could not tell whether he was actually touching my hair or just coming very close to it. His awkward female friend mimicked his hand movements, and I just smiled and laughed uncomfortably, and tried to see what they were doing without making eye contact.

After several minutes of waiting for Cobra to come on, the troops got restless, and a second surge occurred. The enemy battalion charged past us, and my friend and I were pressed so tightly between the new people next to us that I was able to relax my legs because I no longer needed them to hold me upright. It was pretty cool, as far as uncomfortable and disturbing experiences go.

When Cobra Starship finally came on stage to put us out of our misery, the entire crowd in front of me did a little mini-surge, leaving me with almost a foot of empty space on each side of me, which, let me tell you, is the most space I have ever had in the middle of the crowd in a seatless venue.

It soon turned out, however, that we were going to need all the space we could get because the guy behind me somehow lost his glasses to the small-objects-eating monster known as the dance floor. Turns out, I was pretty lucky when my glasses got knocked off during Unicorn Kid’s set at Rock n Roll Hotel and only had to suffer about ten seconds of blind panic before finding them. This poor guy spent at least three minutes looking for his. So many people were trying to help him look for them, I almost thought Gabe would pause before the next songs and ask us what was going on. He didn’t, though, plowing through the end of opening mosh-fest “The City Is at War” straight on to the even more moshable “Pete Wentz Is the Only Reason We’re Famous.” Really, of all the times you don’t want people jumping up and down...

I thought about telling the guy how I lost my glasses like that at Unicorn Kid’s show, but it didn’t seem like an entirely appropriate thing to say while he was scouring the floor with only the light of his cell phone to guide him. Then after he finally recovered his glasses, I decided the music was too loud to make it worth the effort of shouting.

Cobra followed “Pete Wentz” with “My Move Are White [White Hot, That Is],” and I was glad I could dance to it after having to refrain from jumping during the previous songs for fear of smashing anyone’s glasses.

And, you know, I still hate to brag, but I have to tell you about how Gabe told us that the 930 Club is his favorite venue. He said they’ve played there like 14 times before, which I found hard to believe since the only times I recall Cobra coming to the area in the past year, they played Merriweather Post Pavilion twice and Black Cat once. Regardless, Gabe said this was the first show on the tour to sell out, another reason he loves us.

Between songs, someone threw some Pink Floyd boxers at Gabe.

“Pink Floyd boxers!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been looking for these for months! I’m going to wear them every day, okay?... I’ll wear them over my tighty whities every day.”

omgheisthecutest.

After that, Gabe asked who had seen Cobra Starship before. That cheer was loud enough to make me feel like a loser for never having seen them before, but when he asked who was seeing them for the first time, that cheer was even bigger. I wonder if my fellow Cobra-novices were as surprised as I was about the awkward, passive-aggressive between-set surges toward the stage.
In a move that made me understand why Gabe and William Beckett are buddies, Gabe then welcomed us to the club, teaching us the Cobra hand sign: two fingers... well, actually, I’ll let you go to a concert and learn it for yourself. (Or check out the Too Fast for Love tour t-shirts, which have a picture of it. Bet you can’t figure out which hand symbol goes with Cobra and which goes with 3OH!3.)

“Once you’re a cobra,” Gabe told us, in probably the most inspiring little speech I have ever heard at a concert, “you’re a COBRA FOR LIFE!!!” *insert hand symbols and cheering here*

Gabe then introduced William Beckett of The Academy Is... and Maja Ivarsson of The Sounds. I kind of thought they were actually going to come onstage until he announced Samuel L. Jackson's name. I mean, “Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)” is an awesome song, but bringing Samuel L. Jackson on tour with you just seems a bit excessive.

Neither Jackson nor Beckett and Ivarsson were there, but Cobra Starship did play “Snakes on a Plane.” Gabe invited a member of the audience onstage with him to perform the rap part. A boy named Josh volunteered, and Gabe seemed especially excited to have a guy take a shot at it.

“Normally girls want to do it,” he explained, “but let’s get some testosterone up here!”

Based on Josh’s initial performance, it seemed like letting boys do it might not be the best idea: Gabe helped lead Josh into the rap section, but Josh started to sing the beginning of the song. Then Gabe told him to do the rap and led him in again... and Josh sang the beginning of the song. In as friendly a manner as possible, Gabe warned Josh that if he didn’t get it right soon, he’d have to get off the stage. The third time, Gabe helped him by starting to do the rap with him, and the third time was the charm: Josh made it through the entire rap with great timing and rhyming skills.

“See? He knew it all along,” Gabe said at the end, looking proud and impressed. “He was just nervous.”

“I’d be nervous,” a member of the band whose name I don’t know because I only know Gabe and Victoria’s names, said, “getting up here in front of all these people.”

The other members of the bands whose names I don’t know agreed.

Josh got down off the stage, and Gabe finished up the song.

After playing a couple more songs, Gabe asked if there was any Latin blood in the audience. Either I failed to notice that most of the audience was Hispanic, or Latin blood gives people the ability to cheer really, really loudly. Either way, I was impressed.

Gabe then explained that Cobra Starship is all about mixing things that aren’t normally mixed. For example, their next song had some nice Latin music for the ladies to dance to, then some hard rocking for the guys. That song, of course, was “Smile for the Paparazzi.”

That brings me to the coolest thing about Cobra Starship’s set (besides Gabe and his love of Pink Floyd boxers): the set. As in the stage and backdrop. While I Fight Dragons had opted for the classic black-backdrop look and Travie had gone with the increasingly-popular gigantic-album-art, Cobra Starship’s set was performed in front of thousands of lights. Lights that changed color to show pictures of dancing girls and spell words and do something involving X’s and O’s during “Wet Hot American Summer” that I totally did not understand.

For the dancing parts of “Smile for the Paparazzi,” Gabe sang in front of a backdrop of twinkling stars. Then for the rocking parts, the word “POP” flashed on the screen as Gabe and the crowd chanted “Pop-pop-pop-pop-paparazzi.” It was pretty freaking sweet. In fact, when combined with Gabe’s almost-unmatched charisma (William Beckett is still the only performer I’ve seen who can compete with his stage presence), the flashy backdrop made Cobra Starship’s set the greatest live set I have ever seen.

The set sort of ended with “Hot Mess,” in which the backdrop showed the silhouettes of dancing girls, which seemed rather unnecessary. I mean, the club was already packed with teenage girls sweating through their tank tops (but somehow never sweating off their liquid eyeliner - I will never understand how that works). How much more hot and messy can you get?

At the end of the song, a rainbow of balloons fell from the ceiling. It seemed like a fitting end to the set, but since it’s not proper for opening bands to demand encores, the set went on.
Gabe told us about how, somehow, Cobra Starship had a hit on the radio last summer. This perfect introduction to “Good Girls Go Bad” led into... “Guilty Pleasure.” Because, Gabe explained, before that, everyone knew why Cobra Starship was there: “I came here to make you dance tonight...”

After snubbing “Good Girls Go Bad” for “Guilty Pleasure,” I expected Cobra Starship to send a message to any audience members who only care about their hit single that these concerts aren’t for them by refusing to play “Good Girls Go Bad.” But turns out, Cobra Starship aren’t as bitter about fair-weather fans as I thought: they played “Good Girls Go Bad” as their final song.
I also expected them to play Leighton Meester’s part on a laptop a la what-Owl-City-did-for-“Saltwater-Room”-before-Breanne-started-touring-with-him, but instead, Victoria sang Leighton Meester’s part. And unless they secretly were playing Leighton off a laptop, I must say, Victoria sounded really good.

Fun fact: Did you know Victoria directed an iPod commerical? Or that she’s Paul McCartney’s ex-fiancée’s niece? I love Wikipedia.

At the end of the song, to signify the real end of the set, a rainbow of confetti fell from the ceiling. This might have been cooler than the balloons if the majority of the audience hadn’t been wearing tank tops that showed quite a bit of skin. Really sweaty skin. The confetti landed on everyone’s shoulders and chests, became saturated with sweat, shriveled up, and died. It was a horrible sight.

Although I was a bit too far from the stage for the confetti to reach me, right after the band exited stage left, I got a good view of wet-confetti-covered girls as there was a mass exodus from the front rows. Apparently even though 3OH!3 was headlining, most girls didn’t really give a crap about them.

The mass exodus was rivaled in size only by a surge toward the stage even more massive than the pre-Cobra surge. Moving forward in the pre-Cobra surge was like salmon swimming upstream into a brick wall. Moving forward in the post-Cobra surge was like salmon swimming upstream into a lake that actually has room for most of them. My friend and I might have been swept up in the current because I smiled at a guy who said something unintelligible to me that I now think was along the lines of “Want me to push you until you’re in the first row and I’m in the second?” Whether it was because of his plan to get us to the front or just the force of a crowd of crazed 3OH!3 fans, Brittany and I went from being nine people away from the stage to being five people away again. It was good to be back in front. At first, anyways.

Since my friend and I had no more control over where we ended up than two water molecules have when they’re carried to shore by a wave (and unlike those water molecules, we didn’t even have hydrogen bonds to help hold us together), we got separated by a few people. I was okay with this since I knew where she was, but I think she tried to bring me up to the third row with her, but her plans were thwarted by a girl with shoulders of steel. I wish I’d had her on my side during the pre-Cobra surge.

Although we weren’t quite next to each other, we were both quite close to a group of girls that found an extraordinarily large beige bra on the floor. Apparently someone had attempted to throw it at Gabe during Cobra Starship’s set, but the bra hadn’t quite made it all the way to the stage. These resourceful girls knew better than to let a perfectly good bra that was much too large for any of them them go to waste, so they borrowed a Sharpie from a man nearby and wrote all their names and phone numbers on it so they could throw it at 3OH!3.

3OH!3 came onstage against an American flag backdrop that had their name (literally) written all over it. It looked cool, but it couldn’t compete with Cobra Starship’s fancy lights. What with the lackluster set and the way Cobra had balloons, confetti, and more fans, I put 2 and 2 together and concluded that Cobra were supposed to be the real headliners.

3OH!3 began their set with “Starstrukk,” sans Katy Perry, unfortunately. They followed it with “My First Kiss” (sans Ke$ha, less unfortunately) and “I’m Not Your Boyfriend, Baby.” I considered this to be a strong beginning, since it consisted of almost all their songs that I actually like.

A girl a few people in front of me made a t-shirt that said “I’m Not Your Boyfriend, Baby.” She held it up during that entire song so the guys in the band could see it (and us folks behind her couldn’t see the guys in the band - gee, thanks). At the end of the song, the cute one with short hair - the general consensus on GoogleImages is that he’s Sean Foreman - read the shirt.

“Yeah, you’re not my boyfriend!” he told her. “You don’t even look like a boy!”

Despite his acknowledgement of her shirt, the girl still felt the need to hold it in the air for him to see it for the first couple minutes of the next song. This just made us folks behind her want to punch her in the back of the head even more than we did before.

During the next song, which I didn’t like enough to remember the name of, the girls with the bra decided to throw it. Sean caught it while singing, and without missing a beat (literally), he tossed it right back into the audience. The man who had loaned the girls the Sharpie caught it and tossed it back to them. In that moment, I decided that, although I’m still not crazy about most of 3OH!3’s songs, I have so much respect for Sean Foreman.

For me, the bra-tossing was definitely the highlight of 3OH!3’s set. Although I can’t say I enjoyed the set overall, it taught me a lot about crowd dynamics. To extend the ocean metaphor I used earlier, a whirlpool formed right next to me.

So it was really just an ordinary mosh pit, but when all of a sudden, the relatively calm group of guys standing to your left start running into each other and you try to move to the right as far as you can to get away from the rapidly-expanding circle, it sure feels like being sucked into a whirlpool.

For most of the beginning of the set, I had been trying to avoid the rather large guy next to me, who kept jumping up and down and fist-pumping dangerously close to my face. I tried my best to stay away from him, lest my glasses meet the same fate as those of the guy who was behind me (who, by the way, I never got to bond with over our shared lost-glasses experiences before the tide of people swept me away). One time, the guy next to me even knocked my glasses off. I quickly caught them in mid-air, then held them in my hand for the rest of the song.

When the mosh pit appeared next to me, I was initially glad he now had a more appropriate place to release his fist-pumping energy. Unfortunately, most pits don’t have walls for moshers to bounce off when they get to the edges. Well, they kind of do have walls. They’re called the people standing next to the mosh pit. AKA me.

I was reminded of the vastly underappreciated Son of Dork song “Murdered in the Mosh.” I would just like to warn you that you don’t have to be a poser who claims to like Jane’s Addiction but is actually a Backstreet Boys fan to suffer such a horrible fate. After about three guys bodyslammed me then bounced back into the pit, I was convinced that my life would end that way.

One girl in the same situation as me finally had enough of being pushed around, so she barreled into the mosh pit and started pushing back. She was kind of my hero. She also made me realize the silver lining of being near a mosh pit: if any jerks who fought their way in front of you show up in the mosh, you have the perfect passive aggressive excuse to get revenge. Since I managed to eventually escape the edge of this mosh pit, I think my demise will actually occur in a future mosh pit, doing just that.

As great as it was to be within ten feet of 3OH!3, almost close enough to touch them (and much closer when they actually reached into the audience and everyone surged forward to touch them), I really felt like the set went on a bit too long. I can really only stand being pushed around and stepped on while listening to them announce their plans for a house party in their house. (Really? You’re not going to rent a hotel ballroom for that?)

While we're on the subject of their song "House Party," I would like to note that repeatedly exclaiming “[screw] the club” while performing in a club sends mixed messages. Unless they actually meant “[have sexual intercourse with] the club,” in which case I am immensely glad no one attempted to do so.

By the end of the set, I thoroughly wished I had followed the legions of Cobra Starship fans who left after Cobra’s set. It wasn’t that 3OH!3’s music was that bad. I wasn’t nearly as worried about my ears bleeding as I was about my toes, nose, and internal organs. But then again, it didn’t help that 3OH!3 ended their set with their most insufferable song, “Chokechain.”

Although I desperately hoped that they would end on a low note and leave the stage without an encore, alas, no closing band can ever go without an encore these days. 3OH!3’s performance had none of the balloons or confetti of Cobra’s, further proof that I should have gotten out while I still could. They played two songs for their encore, one of which I didn’t recognize. The second was “Don’t Trust Me,” and as much as I like that song, I didn’t think it was worth being treated like the wall of a moonbounce just to hear that Sean’s a vegetarian.

After 3OH!3’s set ended, my friend and I hit up the free ice water at the bar, then headed back to I Fight Dragons and Travie’s merch table corner because Travie said he’d be there after he put on his jammies. (Seriously.)

Travie had evidently already hit the hay (er, mattress on the bus) by the time the show ended, but several members of I Fight Dragons were there, signing CDs and shirts. We realized when we got there that the members of I Fight Dragons emulate their superhero role models in an unfortunate way: although they may be Superman onstage, offstage they make a pretty convincing Clark Kent.

We each bought a copy of their EP to get them to sign, then awkwardly smiled at their bassist for a bit too long, afraid to ask him if he was really their bassist or just an ordinary guy who looked an awful lot like their bassist. Then we retreated to a nearby trash can to take the packaging off the EPs so we could actually get them to sign them. We decided we would approach the ones who were already signing things since we knew they had to be in the band.

We got their lead singer and token sexy girl to sign the EPs first, then moved on to the guy we’d awkwardly smiled at, who really was their bassist. I realized that although they wear normal-looking clothes, each had a colored patch somewhere on his or her outfit that contained his or her elemental power symbol, or something like that. Very Power Rangers chic.

Armed with the ability to identify the bandmates by closing examining their outfits (or just seeing who was signing autographs), we doubled back onto the floor of the club to get another member’s autograph. As a bouncer tried to escort us out, we got the cute drummer’s autograph. I finally worked up the nerve to start praising them as they signed, and he seemed genuinely grateful for my nervous gush of words about how really really good they were.

Since the bouncer wouldn’t let us back on the floor, we headed for the door, a bit disappointed to get all their signatures but one. Two guys standing by the door tried to sell us I Fight Dragons’ EPs, and we showed them we already had them.

“Awesome!” one said. “Did you get them signed?”

We showed him we were missing one signature.

“What?” he exclaimed. “You can’t miss one!” Then he called over their final member, the guy who looked like Neo playing music out of Doc Ock’s dead body thanks to a really strange glitch in the Matrix. He signed our EPs, and our concert experience was complete. All that was left was to face the annoyed wrath of my dad on the ride home, who hates how we’re always the last kids out of the club, and to marvel at the fact that we survived.

A Teen Angst 'Wonderland'

2010-01-15T18:28:00.006-05:00

Don't worry, this post has nothing to do with that John Mayer song that makes you want to smash your radio. No, before I get back to my top 20 albums of 2009, I just had to have a little freak-out about something to look forward to later in 2010 (March 2nd, to be specific): the Alice in Wonderland soundtrack!

The soundtrack, featuring everyone from Avril Lavigne to Owl City to Motion City Soundtrack, is poised to make emo kids smile wider than the Cheshire cat (on the inside, of course). And really, any CD with a Mark Hoppus/Pete Wentz collaboration sound pretty darn wonderful to me.

The soundtrack will be a hodgepodge of original songs loosely inspired by the book and old animated movie (All Time Low said they didn't get to see Tim Burton's version yet). Except, um, "The Technicolor Phase" was definitely released on Owl City's debut album, before anyone would have guessed he could fit in among the ranks of these pop-punk personalities. But it could still have been inspired by Alice in Wonderland. It has almost nothing to do with the story, but hey, you never know.

Anyways, after hearing Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and Marilyn Manson on the 2006 reissue of The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack (another Tim Burton film, of course), it only seems logical to commission a slew of Alice-themed tracks from the myriad poster children teen angst. Even if the music lacks the quirks and experimentation of Burton's film, it's sure to look lovely next to the six rows of overpriced Alice t-shirts, hoodies, and jewelery boxes at Hot Topic stores everywhere.

Now before we run out of time (get that White Rabbit reference? no?... oh well), let's get to the tracklist:

1. “Alice (Underground)” – Avril Lavigne
2. “The Poison” – The All-American Rejects
3. “The Technicolor Phase” – Owl City
4. “Her Name Is Alice” – Shinedown
5. “Painting Flowers” - All Time Low
6. “Where’s My Angel” - Metro Station
7. “Strange”- Tokio Hotel and Kerli
8. “Follow Me Down” - 3OH!3 featuring Neon Hitch
9. “Very Good Advice” - Robert Smith
10. “In Transit” - Mark Hoppus with Pete Wentz
11. “Welcome to Mystery” - Plain White T’s
12. “Tea Party” - Kerli
13. “The Lobster Quadrille” - Franz Ferdinand
14. “Running Out of Time” - Motion City Soundtrack
15. “Fell Down a Hole” - Wolfmother
16. “White Rabbit”- Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

The tracklist was released on MySpace's music blog, and you can check out that story if you like.

In other news, I went to Grace Potter and the Nocturnals' website today and discovered that not every band with "Potter" in its name is a wrock band. This makes sense because Harry Potter had no relatives named Grace.

See Who's to 'Blame'

2010-01-06T15:41:00.003-05:00

Hey, just wanted to issue a quick apology for totally not keeping up with my planned pace of an album-a-day for my 20 favorite albums of 2009. Turns out homework is still pretty time-consuming. Oh, and I simply cannot look away from the fascinating camerawork and costuming in Mika's video for his upcoming single "Blame It On the Girls," to be released on February 15th. (Let's hope this song actually gets some airplay in the States!)

Enjoy:

I'll admit, the video's not as spectacular as "We Are Golden," but "Blame It On the Girls" has always been one of my favorite songs on his album. (Wondering where - if anywhere - that album will fall on my top 20 countdown? You might have to hang on til the end to find out) ;)

Shining LIGHTS on Our Disconnected World

2010-01-04T17:00:00.002-05:00

Perfectopop's Best Albums of 2009:
#17 The Listening by LIGHTS

Canadian electropop darling LIGHTS (and winner of Canada's prestigious Juno award for Best New Artist) may claim to be from another galaxy, but her songs sound like they take place on a plant not to different form our own. If they truly are intergalactic, though, they must take place in the same dark but beautiful galaxy of auto-tuned beings that Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak took place on.

Yet LIGHTS' planet has an interesting mix of desolate cities and majestic natural areas. Songs like "Drive My Soul" and "February Air" are about trying to make a human connection in immense and impersonal cities, much like 808s. Despite all LIGHTS' pictures of herself posing with candy-colored ray guns (disclaimer: she totally did it before Lady Gaga and Beyonce), the album starts out with LIGHTS as a damsel in distress looking for a "Saviour" and somebody to drive her soul.

On the other hand, LIGHTS sings of nature as though it is a magical force that can rescue her from this isolation. Her song "River" is a prayer to a river. Conceptually, it's similar to Owl City's "Hello Seattle," whose last eight lines are like a prayer to the city. LIGHTS is frequently compared to Owl City, with good reason: both deal in a subdued style of electropop not often heard. And the fact that they're touring North America and Europe together can't hurt. (If I wasn't such a crazed Owl City fanatic, I probably would have compared her music to his instead of Kanye's, but I could write a whole 'nother post about how the world his music creates is much more magical yet similar to our own than hers... And don't even get me started on the subtle differences between Owl City and the Postal Service...) But I digress.

By the middle of the album, LIGHTS has made a human connection and spends her time comforting this guy, insisting that he shouldn't worry about her ("The Last Thing on Your Mind") and should face every situation with courage ("Lions!"). And in this world of isolation, LIGHTS eventually finds lots of people in similar situations. In "Face Up," she instructs this boyfriend to "Look at the people all around you/The way you feel is something everybody goes through."

Though none of the tracks are as dynamite as the cartoon weapons she loves to pose with, the album's only true dud is the treacly ballad "Pretend," whose sappy nostalgic lyrics sound especially bad with LIGHTS' weak and breathy voice. The album's timeline isn't perfect either, but if a few tracks were switched around, LIGHTS could weave a wonderful story about finding compassion and courage in a disconnected world remarkably similar to our own.

If you take the 'F' out of Bowling for Soup's initials...

2010-01-03T18:13:00.000-05:00

Perfectopop's Best Albums of 2009
#18 Sorry for Partyin' by Bowling for Soup

Why is Bowling for Soup depicted jumping into a giant toilet on cover of their latest album, Sorry for Partyin'? The album before that, The Great Burrito Extortion Case, had more mentions of bodily wastes. In fact, jokes are in (relatively) short supply on this album. This album finds the fifteen year-old pop-punk quartet wading through their old material and producing new songs that revolve around the same old ideas, but with less snarky spirit this time around. Can anyone think of what they're doing in a toilet?...

The album opens with "A Really Cool Dance Song." The name says it all - it's catchy and as danceable as anything released by the bands "in frilly tuxedos" they try to imitate. Yet the genre-skewering inevitably leads to comparisons with their 2003 gem "Punk Rock 101." And this songs is not "Punk Rock 101." "A Really Cool Dance Song" cracks jokes about how little the band knows about dance music (they only listened to Motley Crue), while "Punk Rock 101" was a (relatively) insightful parody of the lives of emo young adults. "Dance Song" can make listeners want to dance, but "Punk Rock 101" made them want to throw up their hands while they were doubled over laughing.

Another songs that has as much trouble avoiding comparisons to previous songs as lead singer and songwriter Jared Reddick has trouble avoiding bottles of beer is "Bfff," a song about how he loves his best friend (in a heterosexual way). Though it could provoke a few chuckles, it can't compete with the delicious snark of "Friends Like You" from Great Burrito Extortion Case, the same album on which Reddick's jokes about his sexuality wore out their welcome in the song "I'm Gay."

Reddick finally puts his immature charm to good use on Sorry for Partyin''s latest single, "No Hablo Ingles." In that song, he proves that whether you didn't do your homework or your nephew wants you to take him to the Jonas Brothers movie, all you have to say to get out of it is (cuatro! cinco! seis!) "No hablo ingles." Catchy, silly, and very funny, it's one of the best songs on the album - though don't expect it to get as much airplay as "1985," or even "High School Never Ends."

And more songs continue to disappoint. "I Don't Wish You Were Dead Anymore" looks promising, but its title is by far the funniest part. However, it is probably Bowling for Soup's happiest song ever, and it's super catchy. But snark was one of Reddick's best features, and the most catty this song gets is a warning for his ex to never return to their hometown because he's doing fine.

Maybe Reddick is just too happy. "Only Young," a song about having "the best night of our lives," is just like every other song about that topic: very fun and catchy, but not remotely clever or original. By Bowling for Soup standards, it's totally forgettable.

Then again, Reddick's ballads, usually filled with delicious, sickly-sweet sap, are pretty drab on this album. "Me With No You" is a pity party attended by an impressive assortment of cliches. "Love Goes Boom" is an echo of the disaster metaphors at the end of Great Burrito Extortion Case in "Don't Let It Be Love" and "If You Come Back to Me." It's a solid song, but Reddick could have written it in his sleep.

But even when trying out a relatively original concept, Reddick stumbles about like the eternal drunk he's always painted himself as. He's written some good songs featuring spoken phone calls with girlfriends, so he decides to flesh that concept out to a whopping 3 minutes 39 seconds on "If Only." The twist ending is great, but the long conversations chop up the song and make for a jarring listening experience. With more singing, less talking over guitars, the song could be quite cute.

If Reddick is into innovative ideas, he should just creative a concept album of ballads about inanimate objects (and some very animated parts of his body) personified as beautiful women. On Sorry for Partyin', three of the album's best songs personify three of Reddick's favorite things: beer, America, and his... Wena.

The album's first single, "My Wena," is all about Reddick's girlfriend Wena, who is very close to him. She's quite popular with the ladies, she loves being held at night, and... I think you get the idea. Immature to the max, but it made this prissy seventeen year-old girl giggle uncontrollably like a prepubescent boy. Gross, immature - definitely a must-hear.

Listeners with a bit more discretion (but just a bit) may prefer "Hooray for Beer," a love song about Reddick's favorite beverage. Of course, the man has extolled his love of beer in the past more often than Disney Channel stars have sung about believing in dreams, but this song doesn't feel stale. It's catchy, clever, and one of the album's best tracks. Kind of the quintessential Bowling for Soup song.

The pretending-nonhuman-things-are-pretty-girls idea worked great on "Beer" and "Wena," but the concept is terribly suited for "America (Wake Up Amy)." Reddick personifies the United States as a beautiful girl from out of town, which works great at first - "She bullies at school/Her parents were cool." A lighthearted parody of American culture could easily follow, but apparently Reddick had his fill of skewering celeb culture on "High School Never Ends." Now he's moving from LA to the big leagues: Washington DC.

Reddick's attempt at political commentary has a generic anti-war message: "wake up, America, don't want to fight anymore." I know I've been complaining that Bowlign for Soup isn't funny enough anymore, but this song is hilarious since earlier on the album, Reddick urged listeners to answer questions like "Where'd you leave your pants?" with the catch-all "No hablo ingles." He also, in case you forgot, told listeners to shout "Hooray for beer!" and check out his Wena. Now that's the type of man I want to take foreign policy advice from.

Reddick's pacifist logic essentially goes as follows: America is a bully. No one likes bullies. Bullies have to buy their own beer. Therefore, America should stop picking fights.

Listeners get another peek into the fascinating inner workings of Reddick's mind on "I Gotchoo," the catchiest track on the album. Eschewing their usual guitars in favor of an insanely catchy piano melody, the song is a stream-of-consciousness journey through Reddick's brain, as he thinks about everything from chocolate-covered cherries to the capital of North Carolina. In the chorus, Reddick explains that "If you were me, you'd probably see what I'm talking about." True, but you don't need to understand his thought process to appreciate the hilariously random lyrics and great groove of the melody. Catchy, funny, random - this is the Bowling for Soup I've been looking for throughout the album.

The album's last original track, "I Can't Stand L.A.," is another great one. Sounding like a punked-up classic show tune, the song features shout-outs to cities around the country... Reddick just can't stand L.A.

The album (without bonus tracks, though there are plenty of those scattered around) closes with a polka rendition of Bowling for Soup's signature bonus track "Belgium." After an album with a few great tracks and a lot that feel like the guys are just phoning it in (to put it politely), "Belgium Polka" is a real party song and a breath of fresh air.

Almost 'Bulletproof'

2010-01-03T17:33:00.004-05:00

Perfectopop's Best Albums of 2009:
#19 La Roux by La Roux

Based on the hype surrounding British electropop duo La Roux, it would sound like they truly have become, as their popular single said they hoped to be, bulletproof. And singer Elly Jackson's ethereally high voice just adds to their superhuman image. Their loss of the mtvU Breaking Woodie award to NeverShoutNever! seems to be the only proof that they're only human.

The duo's terrifically danceable debut album is propelled by producer Ben Langmaid's superb instrumentals, and Jackson's thin croon provides the icing on the dance hall cake. Songs like "I'm Not Your Toy" prove that Langmaid can write a catchy loop, and "Fascination" shows that Jackson is just as good with catchy choruses. La Roux's songs are all fairly similar, which makes them the perfect party album, but it's not clear if their synthpop will catch on outside discos (and all of Europe).

Jackson has ruffled some feathers when criticizing other artists in interviews, and her songs are most interesting when they're equally aggressive and blunt, as in "In for the Kill" and "I'm Not Your Toy." Yet her soft voice is better suited for gentler songs, like the delicate ballad "Cover My Eyes." And although "Cover My Eyes" is the only really unique-sounding track on the album, La Roux don't need much variety because they know what works. Their album is certainly airtight, even if it's not quite bulletproof.

'Trying' Too Hard to Experiment This Time

2010-01-03T17:00:00.006-05:00

Perfectopop's Best Albums of 2009:
#20 Lines, Vines, and Trying Times by Jonas Brothers

It's good for artists to explore new territory. Especially when they're splattered all over Disney Channel's prime-time line-up and are constantly being written off as cheap Hanson knock-offs. But as the Jonas Brothers proved this summer, exploration can be a bit risky. They stumble and fall as often as they discover glorious new sounds. And some of the places they go aren't all that pretty. Lines, Vines, and Trying Times is an album that suffers from too much experimentation and too little cohesiveness. It's full of great songs, but they're from such diverse genres that the whole is less than a sum of its parts. The JoBros' journey has several spectacular stops, but overall, it's a rather bumpy ride.

The album begins beautifully with the rockable, danceable "World War III," which is, in my opinion, the best song the JoBros have ever recorded. The discovery and addition of a horn section was certainly a great step in their sonic journey.

The album continues with "Paranoid," a brilliant and downright respectable rock song, catchy but much more subtle than the usual fare from Disney-endorsed bubble-punkers. Then "Fly With Me" veers back into cutesy wish-upon-a-star territory, but its great melody and lovely orchestration keep it sweet, not saccharine.

Based on the album's first three songs, it sounds like the Jonases have learned to walk the fine line between the sugary pop their younger fans crave and the mature rock that will earn them a little respect. "Poison Ivy," though not stellar, doesn't detract from this image.

But then, the album takes a turn for the worse, hopping around from one genre to the next. "Hey Baby," "Before the Storm," "What Did I Do to Your Heart," and "Much Better" are all fine songs on their own, but placed back-to-back, they rudely jolt listeners from one genre to another and make Lines, Vines, and Trying Times sounds less like an album than a poorly-conceived mix CD. They're great songs: "Hey Baby" is bluesy and pretty mature; "Before the Storm" will tug at the heartstrings of all but the most cynical and vehement Miley Cyrus haters; "What Did I Do to Your Heart" probably wouldn't make me want to claw my eardrums out if I didn't hate fiddles so much; and "Much Better" is hands-down the most fun song on the album. Everything about it is deliciously campy, from its not-so-subtle jab at Taylor Swift to its retro sound that sounds like it belongs at one rockin' party... in a nursing home.

With "Black Keys," the JoBros get the album back on the pop-punk-with-the-occasional-heartfelt-ballad track they traversed so well on their last two albums. Not many 16 year-olds can write and perform a ballad as well as Nick Jonas, and this sentimental-not-sappy song doesn't disappoint. I find it even more moving than Nick's last ballad, the unforgettable "A Little Bit Longer," which is kind of saying something, especially if you've seen Nick play "A Little Bit Longer" live.

But then the JoBros take a wrong turn and end up in a nasty spot: the misguided hip-rock tune "Don't Charge Me for the Crime." I know the boys wanted to work with Common, but couldn't they have come up with something more... sensible? The song is about helping a friend rob a bank and the moral dilemma they face: help out your friend, or uphold the law? Um, guys, there's not much of a moral dilemma there... Helping a friend rob a bank isn't really helping your friend. Besides, the Jonas Brothers seem like the last people in the world who would ponder the morality of bank robbery. They wear purity rings, for gosh sake. The song is sloppy, strange, and unbelievable.

"Turn Right" is another tender ballad and one of the best-placed songs on the album: "Black Keys" was a beautiful ballad; "Turn Right" is bland and juvenile in comparison. But with the gawd-awful "Don't Charge Me for the Crime" sandwiched between the two, listeners forget that "Black Keys" was ten times better than "Turn Right" and get on their knees and thank the JoBros for only doing one song with Common.

"Don't Speak" is a well-orchestrated rocker and a song that shows that the Jonases have some real promise as grown-up rock stars. If you cut out all the songs between "Poison Ivy" and "Don't Speak," you'd have a wonderful little rock EP. With the entire album intact, it at least provides a clear road map for future Jonas journeys: walk the line between mature rock songs and Nick's ballads, don't get ensnared by any appealing genre-jumping experiments, and try to make the album flow a bit better next time.

2009: A Year in Review

2010-01-03T16:24:00.006-05:00

Happy slightly belated new year! 2009 was a pretty darn decent year for pop music. Kanye led a charge of autotuned robots to hold the charts hostage, then led a one-man assault on the VMA's attempt to give redundant awards to every pop star, then stormed a few late-night talk shows before going home to watch "Single Ladies" on repeat and sulk. Miley Cyrus embarrassed everyone else in the recording industry by outselling all their albums with the subpar pop (and hip-hop-country fusion) of The Hannah Montana Movie soundtrack, then really rubbed it in by outselling their singles with her supremely catchy and critically tolerated (if not adored) "Party in the USA." Lady Gaga appeared. And the Black Eyed Peas lured Fergie and will.i.am's egos back to make a few more number one hits as a group.

But as a girl who loves lists and statistics, no year in review can be complete without a countdown of the year's greatest albums. My dreams of reviewing every single significant pop album released this year were crushed when I realized there were five days left in 2009 and I probably had at least 30 albums to listen to, half of which I hadn't even heard of yet. Then my dreams of creating a purely objective list of the undisputabel best albusm of the year were crushed when I looked at Rolling Stone's list and realized I had only listened to one and a half of the albums on it. And so, I settled for my top 20 favorite albums. Still 10 better than Rolling Stone's list. Suck on that.

I'm kind of irrationally terrified of being perceived as some wanna-be hipster indie snob, then being mobbed by the masses of people who secretly despise hipsters (oh, you know you want to strangle them with their designer scarves), so here's a bit of a rationale for why the upper reaches of my list are very indie-heavy:

As great as 2009's singles were, most of them came from albums released in late 2008. Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Kanye... all fall 2008 releases. The Black-Eyed Peas, Shakira, and Rihanna were three of the only major pop artists to release popular albums and singles in 2009. And so, I'd say 2009 was not a great year for the radio-ready pop album. And heck, pop-punk hasn't had a good year since '04. That means it was up for indie, electropop, and alt dance to pick up the slack, and I am happy to report that they stepped up to the task.

And I'd love to list all the albums I meant to listen to but didn't (Adam Lambert, Shakira, Little Boots, Noisettes, Cascada, Florence + The Machine, Andrew Bird, The Bird and the Bee...) and all the perfectly good albums that I'm not including because I don't consider them to be pop albums (Green Day, U2, Jay-Z...), but that would take days, and I would still probably forget somebody important like the Black Eyed Peas and make their fans at least mildly annoyed.

Also, I should note that I am reviewing albums, not EPs, because if we started lumping together compilations of roughly four to eight songs with compilations of roughly nine or more songs, it would just be chaos and anarchy. Sorry Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, NeverShoutNever!, and that other release from Andrew Bird; you won't be on the list.

I'm going to post one review per day for the first 20 days of January, to draw out the suspense. And because writing these reviews can take an effing long time. So without further ado, I will post today's review. And yesterday's I missed. And the one for the day before. Oh gosh, school hasn't even started again, and I'm already behind...

In the meantime, if anyone reading this has their own list of favorite albums and cares enough to post it in the comments section, I'd love to hear some other opinions! [Not that I need ideas... I honestly do have the full list ready; I just like suspense...]

'Lumos Flies' Brighten Your Day

2009-12-23T17:20:00.005-05:00

Oh hey, I didn't see you there. I was just too busy watching THE SWEETEST WROCK MUSIC VIDEO EVER!!!!!

After the last Harry Potter book came out, I kind of lost all interest in wrock (wizard rock inspired by the Harry Potter series), but apparently the genre is still alive and kicking. Then today, I heard "Lumos Flies," a "Fireflies" parody by ALL CAPS, a collaboration between two members of The Parselmouths and the Ministry of Magic. Basically, here's the deal with the song:
Ron + Hermione + the melody of Owl City's song "Fireflies" = perfection

Give it a listen...

...then check out Luke & Kristina's MySpace for more hilarious songs about everything from NaNoWriMo to snow days to zombies. And their respective bands are also respectably awesome. :)

'Tis the Season...

2009-12-22T15:08:00.000-05:00

Ah, 'tis the season for generosity, sappy stories, and happy holiday tunes. In the holiday spirit, I'd like to point you toward some of the most generous music websites out there, and spread some heartwarming stories. (See yesterday's post about my Christmas playlist for more of the holiday tunes.)

First off, I'd love to give you all the gift of great holiday music, but Amazon's already playing Santa for me. In case you haven't heard, their 25 Days of Free promotion is giving out a free Christmas song every day. Today's release: Relient K's beautiful "I Celebrate the Day," one of their most moving songs about struggling to be close to Jesus.

If you're looking for something a little lighter, don't worry - you can still download the other 21 songs released earlier this month. I, of course, had to snatch of a copy of Lady Gaga's deliciously and disturbingly provocative "Christmas Tree" feat. her buddy Space Cowboy. As with all of her songs, her infamous advice to not listen, "just dance" certainly applies with this track.

The only problem with the Amazon giveaway is it works best when you download the songs with their free Amazon MP3 Downloader, and by "it works best," I mean it barely works at all. But rather than crappy software, I prefer to think of it as a daily exercise in meditation and self-restraint. By Christmas, you'll be ready to tackle those pesky plastic packages that can only be cut with knives, no sweat.

If Amazon's 22 free holiday songs aren't enough, you can download 25 free songs at Green Label Sound. No reindeer or baby Jesuses in this collection, but nothing says holiday excess like four versions of "Big Bills" by Flosstradamus. Still, I can't complain about free songs from Matt & Kim and Chromeo. (And okay, Flosstradamus is officially my new fave dance-pop duo.) Maybe I'll make a New Year's resolution to actually listen to all these remixes I just downloaded...

Oh, and for the truly tireless, if you can download those and still stand to download another free remix, LIGHTS is giving out a free download of the Spike Club Mix of her (minor) hit "Ice" to all members of her website. I highly recommend joining, not just because joining is free and lets you comment on all her pictures of her adorable self holding ginormous ninja swords, but also because she and Owl City appear to be Siamese twins when it comes to touring: she's opening for him on both his winter and spring North America tours and squeezing in a Europe tour with him in between. I feel reassured knowing that in case his email list, MySpace blog, and official Street Team don't alert me of one of his concert presales in time, her mailing list will :]

And speaking of their spring tour, you've heard Adam's sneaky presale announcement, right? April 22, Constitution Hall will def be where the party's at. Me and eight of my coolest friends already snatched up our tickets; I suggest you follow suit. I know I haven't gotten around to posting my review of his fall tour yet, but like everything he does, it was fairly magical.

Oh, and speaking of Owl City, Adam sparked a minor panic over his marital status when he tweeted "DING DONG! WEDDING BELLS!" on Friday. He's rumored to be dating Ann Monson (whose tweets he occasionally retweets), but sources relatively close to Adam reassured us crazy fangirls and boys that Adam's not tying the know anytime soon. Coincidentally, Skillet's guitarist Ben Kascia confirmed that Adam was just celebrating a friend's wedding when he tweeted that a friend of his, whose sister is dating Adam, got married on Saturday... It's a small world. A strange, small world.

One pop star did go off the market this weekend, of course: Kevin Jonas married his girlfriend Danielle DeLeasa on Saturday. Details on the "fairy-tale"-like ceremony here. [Be sure to notice the part about the faux-icicles at the New York ceremony. If they'd waited a day, they probably could have gotten a few icicles from Mother Nature, free of charge.] According to People magazine, when Kevin popped the question, Danielle responded "Yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row." Awww.

Looks like Kevin and Danielle won't be getting much of a honeymoon, though - the JoBros are slated to perform at the Walt Disney World Christmas Parade this Friday. Pity; they're some of the only pop stars I can think of who probably wait until the honeymoon.

Wait - this just in - Inspirational Story Alert!

If you love a good overcoming-adversity-to-sing-tear-jerking-ballads story, well, you probably already watched Charice Pempengco perform on Oprah. But in case you didn't, meet one of the most adorable Asian exports since Hello Kitty. During interviews, this Filipina singer looks like a harmless little ball of cuteness, but put her onstage and the girl can sing. Her unbelievably strong vocals have drawn rave reviews from everyone from David Foster to Josh Groban, who says she has one of the most beautiful voices he's heard in a long time. And to top it off, she's got a great inspirational story about being raised in the Philippines by a single mother. Her mother left with Charice and her brother after their father domestically abused them. After receiving only informal vocal lessons from her mother, she performed well on the American Idol-like singing competition Little Big Star. Her career didn't really take off, however, until videos of her singing reached YouTube. Since then, she's appeared on every talk show ever, as well as in the film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. I think her rendition of Alicia Keys' "No One," accompanied by the Chipettes, is sure to become a classic.

Here's a video of Charice performing her new single "Note to God" (sans rodents) on Oprah. And be sure to stay tuned for her adorable interview afterwards, in which she talks about her career, as well as her crushes on Justin Timberlake and Josh Groban. (Spoiler alert: Then Oprah gives everyone Xboxes.)

Also, check her out on David Archuleta's Christmas album singing a duet of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with him. Treacly Christmas song, American Idol's favorite teddy bear, and a girl whose voice is the only thing better than her back story? Sounds like a downright Christmas miracle.

And finally, before you head over to the fireplace or sip some hot chocolate, here's a video to put you in that warm-n-fuzzy mood. For a song questioning the substance of love in the light of his parents' divorce and his off-again on-again relationship with his girlfriend, NeverShoutNever's new video "What Is Love?" still manages to be incredibly heartwarming.

What Is Love?

nevershoutnever. (new song & video) | MySpace Music Videos

Happy Holidays!

Perfect[opop] Christmas Playlist!

2009-12-21T09:34:00.010-05:00

There may only be four days til Christmas, but whether you need a soundtrack to keep you full of Christmas cheer during your last-minute shopping or you need a little boost of Christmas spirit to make up for those Christmas parties you had to miss because of the blizzard of '09, we've got you covered with some of the most fun holiday pop and rock songs. From classics by the Beach Boys to dance songs released just this year, this list may seem a bit eclectic, but I can assure you it's nice.

Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 - Trans-Siberian Orchestra: It's just not Christmas without an overly dramatic, full-orchestra-meets-heavy-metal rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" colliding with "Carol of the Bells" like two monster trucks... No, seriously, it's not.

Santa Claus is Thumbing to Town - Relient K: A very imaginative Night-Before-Christmas tale of everything going wrong in the North Pole, culminating with Santa trying to hitchhike around the world in one night, told over thrashing guitars riffing on "Jingle Bells."

Ugly Christmas Tree - Oh, Hush!: Whoever the members of Oh, Hush! are, they must the masters of Christmas spirit. It takes a true believer to pen a bouncy little tune about your ugly Christmas tree without losing any of your “Christmas glee.”

Girl of My Dreams - Jonas Brothers: Forget sticking your tongue on frozen poles; I triple-dog dare you to listen to this song without jumping or dancing around... Can't do it? Aw, it's one of the most fun songs the JoBros have ever recorded; I'll let you dance around a little. It's Christmas.

Angels We Have Heard on High - Relient K: Hands-down best pop-punk performance of a traditional Christmas song ever. Why can't we rock out like this during the Christmas eve service?

My Girlfriend (Forgot Me This Christmas) - The Click Five: Okay, Eric, maybe I can see why the other guys kicked you out of the band (unverified rumor alert): you seem a bit obsessed with your possessions. Despite the two entire verses devoted to things the singer bought or received, the song is fun and supremely danceable. Also, way to have a better attitude than the guys on "Last Christmas" - you still have New Year's!

Little Saint Nick - The Beach Boys: What can I say? The sunny, harmonious music of the Beach Boys both preceded and perfected the art of swoon-inducing pop songs The Click Five and JoBros always seek to emulate. Gotta respect the classics.

Disco Christmas - Oh, Hush!: The title says it all. Also, I will definitely top my tree with a disco ball instead of a star next year.

Last Christmas - Wham!: I've loved this song ever since I first heard Hilary Duff sing it on her Christmas album Santa Claus Lane. (Yeah, I bought it... Okay, okay, quit laughing!) Last year, I looked under every igloo and toy shop in the North Pole, searching for the greatest cover of this song. I checked out everything from Ashley Tisdale and Cascada to Jimmy Eat World and Busted, but I couldn't find a cover that could top the original.

Step Into Christmas - Elton John: I must admit, I think this one of the most festive Christmas songs of all time... Aw, go ahead and laugh. I'll keep dancing around the house, playing this on repeat.

Greatest Time of Year - Aly & AJ: A true Christmas miracle: two uber-Christian Disney pop princesses who don't believe in evolution release the most politically-correct, non-denominational holiday song Hollywood Records has ever produced. We only get a hint of which holiday they are celebrating when they casually mention decorating the tree and hanging mistletoe. Oh, and that whole "joy to the world" thing is kind of a Christian slogan, isn't it?

Why Doesn't Santa Like Me? - Skye Sweetnam: This song simultaneously shows the impish little tween pop-punker at her most rocking and her most adorable. It's told from the perspective of a little girl fearing that Santa won't give her any presents, even though she's been such a good girl this year (hey, her brother has recovered from the time he took the remote control). Skye, Santa may not like you, but we adore you.

Wild Christmas - Huckapoo: Sure, the over-produced vocals are even more sparkly and plastic than fake snow, but this song is pure pop music joy. (And for all you former Dreamstreet fangirls out there, I would like to note that Chris Trousdale's cover is slightly less saccharine but still highly recommended.)

The Christmas Song - Owl City: Adam young brings his usual misty-eyed magic to this original holiday song. Guaranteed to make your heart as warm as a night spent by the fire. And this song's inclusion on my list shouldn't surprise anyone: you know I believe Adam Young can do wrong. His label, Universal Republic, might not agree. They pulled a scheduled November release of this song when they realized its one line about Jesus being the only way might upset fans of other religions. Still, check out this song on YouTube and enjoy his sweet (and totally secular) story of meeting a girl and not having to spend Christmas alone.

I Hate Christmas Parties - Relient K: What this song is missing in Christmas cheer and jingle bells, it more than makes up for with its honest and simple tale of teen heartbreak during the holidays. With less spunk than the similarly-themed "Mood Rings," this is one of Relient K's most clear-eyed and poignant songs about being hurt by girls they don't understand.

Give a Hoot!

2009-12-16T18:24:00.002-05:00

Hey guys! In case you've been a bit disappointed with my sporadic blogs about the occasional free music or hot new artist (by the way, anyone see Lightfoot last weekend? I was sick and couldn't make it) over the past 4 months, I am here to say that I have been planning a massive Year In Review extravaganza that at this rate should show up around mid-January (coincidentally, around the same time as the weekend after my mid-terms. And my birthday. Just sayin'.) I've also been planning The World's Biggest, Comprehensivest Blog Ever About the Life and Work of Adam Young, also known as Owl City. And before I post the list of all his MySpace pages (I lost count after the first 12 or so, but believe me when I say it will be massive), I'd like to thank the site that has taught me so much about Adam and exposed me to all of his beautiful work: the Hoot Owls, Owl City's official street team.

Like Relient K and a bunch of other great bands, Owl City's street team is hosted by Fancorps. For the uninitiated, these street teams basically have a website with a list of "orders" for street teamers to complete. All the orders are optional, and they can range from circulating banners and putting up posters to making chalk art and Christmas ornaments. Besides the obvious allure of hanging Owl City on your Christmas tree, one of the main incentives for completing orders is accumulating points. (And of course, you get more for covering your street in chalky lyrics than putting a banner in your Facebook status). All orders require photos, screenshots, or written proof that you completed them, which actually gives me a reason to open the Photoshop program I got 3 years ago for Christmas and never learned to use. (I can't doctor any photos with it, but I can convert my screenshots for web!)

I've heard a lot of people complain that street teams are ways for artists to get free labor, but there's so much more than that, including but not limited to nice prizes like merch items for people who complete the most orders. (I'm shooting for a vinyl copy of Ocean Eyes at the moment!) I also get the personal satisfaction of knowing I am 65th highest earner of points out of the 3,605 members on the team. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

But really, the best part about the Hoot Owls is that it really is a street team. We're a little community that all have one big interest in common, so we all help each other out and don't get in too many heated confrontations!

In fact, my favorite part of the site is the forums. Wayyy back in the day before "Fireflies" exploded (a whopping six months ago!), this was THE place for me to talk to other Owl City fans. Now that us fans are everywhere you look (especially on the iTunes Top Downloads list), you would think the forums would be a bit less special. Actually, they're even better. Now, they're THE place for me to me talk to kids in Nebraska, Utah, and even the UK. Of course, most of our conversations (like the rest of our thoughts) are dominated by Owl City, but we've also had some really good conversations about religion, songwriting, being a fan of a very popular artist vs. a very small one, the coolest hotels in Dubai, and the cutest breed of owl (it's pygmy owls, by the way). It's also a meeting place for some of the most obsessed - er, knowledgeable fans of Adam Young, which means you get to find out about loads of interviews, videos, and side projects that would be virtually impossible to stumble across on your own.

So in conclusion, if you like Owl City, you should definitely check out the Hoot Owls! You can choose to complete as many orders as you wish. (I usually complete as many as I can on Fridays, then attempt to do schoolwork the rest of the week. Though I stop by the forums almost every day... It's all about priorities.) And unlike most lame-ass fan clubs, there's no fee to join - and almost none of the orders require you to own anything but a computer.

Also, we are planning a field trip to Dubai to stay in the hotel on the cover of Ocean Eyes. We are inviting Adam Young and Matthew Thiessen to join us. You doubt that we'll actually accomplish it (I do too), but you know you want in on this action. And the pictures of pygmy owls.

^props to the amazing Hoot Owl Chelseaoyesums for enhancing that natural cuteness with the design and caption

So. Damn. Cute.

Thank about it. :)

Free (Ear) Candy!

2009-11-03T20:56:00.004-05:00

I would like to apologize from the bottom of my heart for forgetting to blog about Orianthi's kick-ass new single "According to You," which was iTunes' Free Single of the Week... until today. I thought I was so over the whole tough-girl-with-guitar thing, but Orianthi's new single just drew me back in to that world of Kelly and Avril doppelgangers who think "I'm the girl with the worst attention span; you're the boy who puts up with it" is a well-written verse that contains two rhymes.

I also wish the song gave Orianthi more opportunities to showcase the guitar goddess skills her Wikipedia insists she possesses. ("Her style is often compared to other virtuosos such as Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Eddie Van Halen." I am not making this up, I swear.)

Still, the song is catchy as hell (assuming hell is as catchy as a Hannah Montana song), and I would consider paying ninety-nine cents for it.

But since the single of the week is now the lackluster country ditty "Keep on Lovin' You," I feel like I should mention some more great free music.

Hellogoodbye is still giving away their "When We First Met" EP for subscribing to their mailing list. I subscribed a couple weeks ago, and so far, I haven't gotten any annoying emails from them, but I did get two adorable songs and a renewed love for Forrest Kline. Check it out. Then watching the song's too-cute video. I could watch that until my hair grows long...

Also, go snag a free download of DC indie rocker We Were Pirates' cover of "Thriller." Though Mike Boggs' nasaly vocals are far from Jacksonian, the cover has plenty of kitschy charm. In fact, today, Towermix's Bobby Tate had a nice little interview with Boggs. Tate accurately described Boggs as "a one man bandgasm of awesomeness," which pretty much says it all.

Oh darn, I should have mentioned that one last week, too, when it was, you know, Halloween...

(Oh, and speaking of kitschy charm, who else is dancing for joy now that the full Glee soundtrack has been released?)

Sweet Little 'Echoes'

2009-11-03T19:03:00.006-05:00

I think it's part of my civic duty to help let the world (or at least the world wide web) know about DC's next indie folk sweetheart, Lightfoot. Lightfoot is the solo project of former (and possibly current?) member DC folk rock band Vox Pop, and the only thing more adorable than her nom de plume "Jess Because" is the demo for her song "Echo." "Echo" keeps a few folk touches from her Vox Pop days, but it's far more delicate than their usual twang. Although her MySpace is peppered with morose mentions of how she is at war with herself and music is cheaper than therapy, the song is anything but a downer.

Lightfoot has a couple of shows in Virginia this weekend, leading up to her "big public debut" at Rock N Roll Hotel on November 27th. In a show that should attract many Vox Pop fans, Lightfoot will be opening for rockers Loose Lips and folk band Typefighter at that show. Then, moving to the other end of the musical spectrum while staying in the DC area, she'll opening for ethereal electropop princess Lights at DC9 on December 12th.

She might only have 14 friends on MySpace and two fans on Facebook, I'd watch out for this lightly-treading folk sweetheart. She just might sneak up on you.

Dream Team to the Extreme

2009-10-03T22:17:00.003-04:00

My ex-future husband Matthew Thiessen of Relient K recently told Indie Vision Music that he and my current future husband Adam Young of Owl City are likely to create a side project together called Goodbye Dubai.

I will tell you how excited I am as soon as I stop hyperventilating.

A Few Open Letters about Tarnished 'Golden'

2009-10-01T18:20:00.003-04:00

Dear Calvin Harris and Bob Sinclair,
Please stop trying to remix "We Are Golden." It is perfect the way it is.

Dear Mirwais,
I don't even know how to respond to someone who wants to turn that into a dance song.

Dear Mika,
I love how tickets for your Europe tour go on sale today, but can you please, please, pretty please grace us folks on the other side of the pond with a show or two? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

And finally, dear people actually reading this (cuz Mika toootally reads my blog...,
I swear I am going to start posting regularly again in a few weeks. Then you will have all the information you could ever want to know about Mika's epic concert in Paris, the one music video channel I have seen that appreciates him, and stuff about Owl City, a crazy Scottish boy in a lion hat (hint: he sings, er, plays the minor UK electropop hit"Lion Hat"), and the most severe injury I have ever suffered in a mosh pit. Also, I promised I'd finish the stories of my Warped Tour adventures and Martin Johnson's tongue action. But for now, I'd just keep spinning The Boy Who Knew Too Much if I were you. Or if I were me.
x3 Meredith

DC Chillin'?

2009-09-19T10:58:00.003-04:00

Last night, I went to see Wale at the Kia Soul Collective festival.
I saw 100 uniformed police officers outside instead.

This is why I love the DC music scene.

...If the cops didn't strongly advise you to leave, and you actually saw the concert, pretty please comment & tell me how it was! I'm really curious about how it went, but... I didn't really want to end up the same way as that fabled curious cat...

More Tours to Fall For

2009-09-06T09:24:00.003-04:00

(^Don't you love my rhyming skills? Door, chore, folklore...)

A lot has happened since I last posted fall tour info, and even though the days are getting darker earlier, the concert options are looking brighter than ever...

Didn't really want $100 seats for the Jonas Brothers World Tour this summer? Still remotely interested in checking out their protegee/Ken dolls, Honor Society? Honor Society will be playing a much more intimate show at Sonar, a Baltimore club the size of your closet in an area that will make the parents of many JoBros fans want to hop right back in their cars and take their kiddies to Port Discovery instead. But for the serious Honor Society fans, their show on Wednesday 9/30 should be the perfect antithesis to seeing them open for the JoBros. Get your $15 tickets here and wonder when the last time you could see the JoBros for that price was.

In case you didn't get tickets to Owl City's show this Saturday before they sold out, don't worry too much; there are other fish in the sea and birds in the electonica sky. Lights, often called Owl City's female counterpart (a moniker I completely disagree with, but whatever) is playing at Sonar on Saturday 10/3. Electronic indie trio Stars of Track & Field are opening. At Warped Tour, Lights performed one of the most awkward sets I ever seen (and I have seen Hottub, so I know awkward). There were over 150 people in the mosh, and I was one of the six who danced. The rest just stood there and gaped at her. I mean, she is certainly worthy of gaping at, but really, she's up there for half an hour; surely you can wrap your mind around her music within that time. Anyhow, when people have to shell out $12 for tickets, more than 4% of the crowd should dance. Get your tickets here.

Saturday 10/3 is actually a pretty huge night for Sonar, what with Geist's CD release party in the Talking Head Club and five bands playing a Sonar-sponsored event at Ottobar. Jay Reatard is headlining the Ottobar event, and if you're not the electropop type, his punk rock should provide some equally-electrifying entertainment for the night.

Is touring the East Coast every fall an annual tradition for Relient K? For the second year in a row, Relient K is coming to the area in October. Last year, I missed seeing them play at the 9:30 Club on a school night. This year, I'm going to miss seeing them play at the Recher Theater in Towson on a school night. Tuesday 10/6, to be specific. The same day they release their new album, which I'll talk more about later. Last year, their fall tour had a Halloween theme. This year, it's called "A Three-Hour Tour," so can we hope to see Matty T dressed up as Gilligan and Matty H as the Skipper? I think the guys would tell us there's always hope... More info on the tour with Barcelona and Copeland here.

Kate Voegele is coming to Rock & Roll Hotel on Friday 10/16 with Green River Ordinance. I saw the perpetually sunny Kate perform at Ram's Head a few years ago, and her on-stage exuberance matched only the love coming her diverse group of fans. Buy tickets here.

You might want to save your $16, though. The Friday after that, 10/23, though, mtvU brings out the big guns. Their inaugural Haloween-themed Ulalume fest will move in to the Merriwether Post Pavilion. Supporting acts Kid Cudi and Dead by Sunrise are sure to scare up a crowd before big-name headliners Paramore and AFI go in for the kill. With costume contests and other events that should put the "boo" in "booths" scattered around the pavilion grounds, this festival should be spooktacular. (Don't you love Halloween-themed puns?) Zip over to mtvu.com for all the details and ticket info. Hurry - I hear everyone's dying to get in (Oh gosh, I'm even making myself groan now...)

Give yourself a day off, then check out The Used at Sonar on Sunday 10/25. Or just go there instead of Ulalume because my incessant punnery has made you despise everything Halloween-related. (Sorry!) Get your tickets, along with a free song and uncensored music video, here.

Sunday 10/8, go to the Black Cat to get one last glimpse of local rocker-philanthropists Mae (buy a new song for $1 every month, and the money will buy materials for underfunded schools) before they jet off to Japan with Owl City. Or just for them to come home; they're only playing 3 shows in Japan. But still, isn't it so exciting when people tour Japan?

It's a pretty good season for electropop buffs: Pretty Lights is bringing his jazzy electronica to the 9:30 Club on Wednesday 11/18. Not to be confused with just plain Lights, Pretty Lights is actually not a pretty girl. (I think a name swap may be in order here.) He is actually producer Derek Vincent Smith, who brings a live drummer with him to live shows (as opposed to the dead drummers at... okay, I'll let it go). He also happens to be my newest favorite reason why electronic music is not all soulless, evil, and murdering other genres. To hear the instrumental beauty for yourself, download all three of his albums for the unbeatable price of free at his official site, give him a donation on his PayPal because, dude, you just three albums for free, then head over to his MySpace to leave a little more love and find some more info on his tour with Gramatik.

And last but definitely not least, Boys Like Girls is headlining one of the most exciting tours of the fall for the Fueled By Ramen crowd, supported by the dream team of Cobra Starship, The Maine, A Rocket to the Moon, and VersaEmerge. The only problem? It's not stopping in DC. But anyone who cares to travel a few hours to Philadelphia should be in for a treat on Saturday 11/21, when they play at Electric Factory. Tour dates & tickets here.

2009-08-29T09:50:00.003-04:00

I've been trying to stay away from blogging and obsessively watching music videos until my summer homework is done, but when a couple of my favorite artists release videos as great as this, well, I just gotta share them.

Lots of other posts with other great videos coming up soon, but for now, keep the end-of-summer party train running a little longer with these:

First up, NeverShoutNever! released the adorable video for his equally adorable song "On The Brightside" yesterday. If you thought Christofer Drew was cute, wait til you see this video's animated star. This one will definitely brighten your day.

On the Brightside

The music biz hasn't been treating Canadian pop-rock princess Skye Sweetnam too well these days, but hey, she's never let her lethargic label get her down before. During this hiatus from performing, promoting, or doing anything else really, she made her directorial debut with "Explode (Makes My Head)" for fellow Canadian pop-rocker Ashes. Her raspy voice can get irritating, but the repetitive instrumentals are fun enough to almost make up for it. The video won't exactly have you glued to your seat, wondering what will happen next, but your eyes will definitely be glued to Ashes' rhinestone-coated lips. Yes, rhinestones. Her career probably won't stop stagnating any sooner than Skye's, but at least give the video a look.

And finally, I'm saving a lot of the good videos I've seen for a future post, but you simply must check out this darling little fan-made video for "Fireflies" by Owl City. (It's for a contest that I fully plan on entering and winning, but, well, this is pretty darn hard to compete with. It's creative, well-made, and as heartwarming as a Pixar film. I'll definitely have trouble kicking its ass) ;)

Keep your eyes peeled for more awesome music videos showing up here soon! I've got a whole rack of European hits I discovered on my trip to Italy that I can't wait to share with everybody!

A Very Good 'Habit'

2009-08-16T16:28:00.003-04:00

In an extremely convoluted manner involving a Jonas Brothers Facebook fan club and the sister of a friend of someone I don't know who doesn't know the girl who told me, whom I also don't know, I miraculously stumbled across an awesome little adult alternativesy band on MySpace (and if you could follow that sentence, there's another miracle right there).

They're called Third Street Habit, a pretty apt name, since their sunny music is as addictive as any habit-forming substance. I know two things about them (besides the things you can easily read on their MySpace page that are therefore not worth repeating):

1) Their lead singer/guitarist's parents have given him 6 months to "make it" in the music biz before they make him get a "real job."

2) He definitely sounds good enough to make it.

And 1+2=you should help them out by giving them a listen. And even if you're a heartless person who wants people to give up on their dreams or alienate themselves from their parents and therefore does not want to help them, you should still give them a listen. Because they are not just some they-suck-but-they're-local/my friends/really cute charity case. They sound amazing.

And while you're there, don't forget to download their demo for free. Not just because you want to help them out by burning copies for all you friends, but because you're gonna need a copy to play on repeat for the next several hours, unable to stop listening, wondering when the music will get monotonous, or at least when you'll be able to stop smiling. (I've been listening for about 34 straight minutes, and my smile's still going strong.)

Break Out the 'Sunblock;' These Bands are Hot

2009-08-05T12:36:00.000-04:00

Say what you will about MTV's programming choices, but you gotta admit: MTV knows how to throw a party.

mtvU described this year's summer mini-festival, the Sunblock Music Festival, as a "killer music event" and did not disappoint. The concert will air on mtvU on 8/10. I've never met anyone who actually has mtvU, so fortunately, it will also be streamed online. But, having attended the event in Baltimore last week, I'd like to give a little preview/review.

The concert was at Pier Six in Baltimore, which, from a distance, looks a bit like a fancy meringue
dessert with several peaks. Or like an elaborate sandcastle. Meringues and sandcastles typically aren't very big, and from the other end of the pier, the pavilion doesn't look very big either. So you can kinda imagine my surprise when I arrive 20 minutes after doors open, 40 minutes before the concert is supposed to start, and find a line three people-think stretching across the fairly large parking lot. Then a comparable line inside for the Boys Like Girls/Gym Class Heroes/The Academy Is... merch tent... Oh man. This gonna be one big party.

But at least mtvU knows how to treat their guests. Half an hour before the concert was scheduled to begin, a DJ came out and started entertaining the crowd. (He might have been some mtvU personality, I don't know... I've never seen a TV that has mtvU.) I was pretty glad to have a cheesy DJ to sneer at during those tediously long breaks between sets at most concerts, and I think much of the crowd felt the same way. His attempts to get up pumped by telling us all the great things he's heard about those crazy partiers in Baltimore worked about as well as those attempts always do - marginally better, in fact, because he was a legitimately cool guy. Not any more cheesy than any other DJ. But he knew the key to getting the crowd to really go crazy: telling them they're going to be on TV. Maybe some of the kids there actually watch mtvU; they certainly jumped around and cheered like they were dying to be on it.

He even got a very substantial part of the audience to leave their seats for a chance to be on TV right now. My friends and I were still kind of suffering from heatstroke because July in Baltimore is just not the best time to be outside, but we could see the masses of girls jumping around and screaming at the mtvU booth thing on the lawn. Five minutes of fame.

Besides the fact that if you see four girls in homemade yellow shirts dancing like crazy, it is probably my friends and me, my favorite thing about having a TV crew there was discovering my dream job: working the ginormous camera on a pole. It looked like it might hurt your arms after a few hours, but getting to swing a camera all over the place and watching kids go bananas whenever it comes near them would be totally worth it. I think.

^So. Cool.

I know you're probably pretty antsy to get to the music, but hey, 15 minutes after the concert was scheduled to start, we were too. I mean, this DJ was cool, but he wasn't quite 45 minutes worth of cool. And the hip-hop he kept playing for us was quite danceable, but we had to save our energy for NeverShoutNever, who should be coming on in... negative 15 minutes. My friend and I couldn't take it anymore and decided to make a pilgrimage to the Boys Like Girls merch table and wait in the monster line there. At least the monster had lost a bit of weight since we arrived. But just a bit. Also, we got treated to a view of a girl bizarrely tucking her tank top into her bra to get the attention of some roadie 50 feet away. What a pleasant way to spend 10 minutes.

By the time, we made it within 5 feet of the merch table, the kids in their seats were cheering like crazy. By the time we were at the table, "On the Brightside" was blaring over the speakers. We were missing NeverShoutNever to buy t-shirts and tote bags! Nooooo!!!!

We blurted out our orders, threw our money at the merch girls, and stretched our legs, ready to sprint back to our seats. Like, really, I prepared to sprint there. No way was my consumerism going to make me miss the cutest guy in the world. At least, not for any longer than necessary to buy the stuff I spent 10 minutes in line for.

NeverShoutNever!

mtvU saved the best performance for first. NeverShoutNever sounded amazing, and his between-song banter was the most adorable thing thing you've ever heard.

The last time I saw NSN perform was in a dark, so-intimate-it's-claustrophobic club on the sketchy side of Baltimore (okay, one of its many sketchy sides). This time, he was only performing a few miles away, but the setting could not have been more different. Well, okay, it could have been in front of a crowd of metalheads or something, but physically, this stage out in the fresh air of the utterly un-sketchy Inner Harbour was quite a change.

And NSN changed his sound accordingly.

Last time, NSN played an intimate little set: he sang and played the tambourine, accompanied by an acoustic guitarist. This time, I believe the tambourine still made an appearance - but so did a ukulele, a harmonica, and an acoustic guitar. And that's just what Chris was playing.

He was joined by his band, The Shout. And with a full band came a fuller sound. And it totally rocked.

His sweet little acoustic songs became slamming rockers. Such a thing would be nearly inconceivable - NSN seems like the antithesis of rock. But it worked. He fleshed out his old acoustic and ukulele songs with the new instruments, and they sounded stronger and more forceful, but still melodic. And the increased intensity was good. The darker songs sounded angrier, as they should - most people wouldn't just write wimpy little acoustic songs about the things he's been through. But the sweet songs were no less sweet. Fans could just jump up and down to them now.

In short, he sounded amazing. Very different from his recordings, but not in a bad way. And he absolutely must record live versions with the full band.

Although NSN is still a solo project and The Shout are just his back-up, Chris gave them chances to shine. His guitarist performed a spectacular solo rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner."

At this show, Chris showed a different side of his music, and he also showed a slightly different side of himself. He kicked his leg up in the air, thrashed around a bit (nothing too crazy), and generally rocked out to the new rockable versions of his songs. But that's certainly not to say that the adorable little guy who repeatedly told the crowd at the Hellogoodbye show was gone.

"You guys are just too cute for your own good, dangnabbit!"

Such shout-outs were sprinkled liberally throughout each break between songs and sometimes even during songs.

And for anyone curious about his unorthodox curse word-substitutes:

"Hellz yeah!" he exclaimed after one song. " I'm trying to stop cursing because cursing is a nasty habit. So I say 'hellz' because the z makes it okay, right?"

So cute. Who could stop themselves from loving him? Especially since he loves the fans so much.

During the second song of his set, "Happy":
"We love you." Plays a few measures.
"We love you." Plays a bit more.
..."We love you."

It was all one big love fest.

To introduce his sweet ukulele tune "Did It Hurt," after telling us we were beautiful, Chris said "I've got a little crush on you, so I wrote a song about you." Cue deafening cheer. Followed by even louder cheer when the crowd found out which song it was.

But it wasn't just love note shout-outs to the crowd as a whole. Chris really tried to connect with the crowd, an extremely valiant effort in a pavilion this big. He handed out several roses to girls in the front rows. A few girls near the middle of the pavilion (aka pretty far away) held up a sign saying "You Make Me Happy." He thanked them from the stage and told them they made him happy too.

Chris even did a great job of spreading the love amongst his fans, a feat most fantastically popular teen heartthrobs can't pull off. Before playing a cover of The Beatles' "I Want To Hold Your Hand," Chris told the audience to grab the hand of the person next to them, whether they knew them or not. Fingers intertwined, not clasped. Then he told the crowd to jump up and down with their held hands in the air during the chorus. And everyone did it. Again, it was all one big lovefest. With his flowers woven around his mic stand and an American flag with a peace symbol on it draped over the keyboard, Chris truly looked like a relic of the 60's. If his original songs weren't so good, I'd say he and The Shout would make a great 60's cover band.

And to end the set, Chris performed "Big City Dreams" and even got off the stage and down into the crowd. I couldn't really see where he went after that, but the message was pretty clear: even with his big new sound, his big new band, and his big new flower budget, he was still a small-town boy with some big-time love and appreciation for his fans.

The Veronicas

Before you read my review of The Veronicas' set, there are two things you should know:

One: I love The Veronicas. They may be identical twins, but they are two different girls with different styles and different personalities, and I respect their individuality. I just can't remember which is which.

So for the purposes of this review, I will somewhat callously refer to them The Blonde and The Brunette. But I know that they are two girls named Jess and Lis who record terrific pop songs, as well as the occasional adorable vlog.

But they suck at playing live.

Two: Before the concert, my friends and I indulged in several of the Inner Harbor's attractions, including ESPN Zone, pedal boats shaped like purple dragons, and the mall. While perusing the pricey but crazy hip clothing at Urban Outfitters, I happened upon a t-shirt that said "Little Black Dress" on it. I looked at it like a bouncer looks at a twelve year-old with a fake ID (not that I've ever seen that...) and held it up to see if it could really be worn as a dress or if it was just a t-shirt impostor. It covered all the essentials with less than an inch to spare, so I put it down, deciding that it had passed the test and was, in fact, a little black dress. But only a shameless skank would wear it without leggings underneath.

When The Veronicas came on stage, my friend started screaming something about a t-shirt. I was utterly confused until I saw that one of The Veronicas - The Brunette - was wearing the exact same Little Black Dress shirt I saw at Urban Outfitters.

Without leggings underneath. Shameless skank.

Though honestly, her outfit looked less risque than The Blonde's tank top with "Lick My Legs" scrawled on it. Ohhkayyy...

Describing a band's outfits before their music usually seems rather petty to me, but for The Veronicas, it seems to work: their show was mostly about show. Musically, they didn't sound stellar. They sounded good enough, but they didn't perform nearly as well as the other bands at the festival. But the other bands were really spectacular.

Last summer, I saw The Veronicas perform at Ram's Head Live on the Verizon VIP tour with Natasha Bedingfield and Kate Voegele. That time, again, they looked good - slightly skanky, with a few too many rips in their tights, but good... But they sounded awful. A bit like Alvin and the Chipmunks. Because they sound so good on their albums, I gave them the benefit of a doubt and chalked it up to problems with their sound equipment.

This time, like last time, they opened with "Untouched." One played an adorable miniature electronic keyboard while the other just sang. And this time, like last time, their voices sounded freakishly high-pitched and squeaky. Here we go again... Maybe it's not the sound equipment. Maybe those are just their voices.

That was a rather scary thought, but before the song was over, they quelled my fears: their voices started sounding normal in the middle of the song. And they continued to sound pretty good for the rest of the set.

But the best part of the set still wasn't the music; The Veronicas can sing pretty well, but they can work the stage like pros. Which I guess they are.

After "Untouched," they played the song "Everything," which doesn't appear on either of their albums. I think they've said in interviews that they love to play it because The Blonde plays electric guitar in it. And she played well, but she didn't sound nearly as good as she looked while rocking out with that guitar. She would have looked like a tough, grungy rocker chick, except the guitar looked like it weighed twice as much as that little waif.

If The Blonde looked like every rocker's dream playing that big ol guitar in her giant sunglasses, blonde bob, and short shorts, The Veronicas got the (very few) guys in the crowd even more excited during "Mother Mother." They screamed and leaned all over their guitarist, Jungle George, and got down on their knees and held other and lifted their legs and radiated sensuality. Remember the Hurley.com and Smartpunk stages at Warped Tour, one of which housed the screamo-dance bands, the other of which housed every female on the tour? With this song - screaming and gorgeous girls - they would've blown both stages away.

Plus, at Warped Tour, there might have been a bit of testosterone in the audience. Sunblock Music Festival was very heavily populated by girls - girls in love with Christopher Drew, girls in love with William Beckett, girls in love with Travis McCoy, girls in love with Martin Johnson, but mostly girls in love with all four. And a few boys in love with the girls who dragged them there. So there wasn't a whole lotta love for The Veronicas.

This indifference in The Veronicas was very evident during the song "Take Me on the Floor." The Veronicas introduced this song, explaining that it was a dance song, so they wanted to see everyone dance. If Christopher Drew tells you to jump, you jump. If Travis tells you to put your peace sign up, you put your peace sign up. If Martin tells you to go crazy, you go crazy. But if The Veronicas tell you to dance... eh, you don't really have to dance.

Although I must admit, I disagreed with their diagnosis of "Take Me on the Floor." The way they played it live, it wasn't so much a dance song as a jump-up-and-down song. But hey, I jumped... Besides, I could be on mtvU!

The Veronicas schooled the apathetic crowd in how to dance during "This Is How It Feels." Throughout the song, The Blonde jumped around and kicked her legs and shook her head like only a blonde-bobbed waif can. Needless to say she looked So Frickin Cool.

The Veronicas wanted to get the crowd into it. At this show and their concert last year, they accepted the fact that "4ever" is their only song Americans know. So both times, they saved it for last and invited the audience to sing along if they knew the words. Some audience members did. Nowhere near as many as knew the words to "Happy" by NSN, but a fair amount. Overall, their performance was not too shabby. Not nearly as shabby as The Blonde's ratty little tank top, anyways.

The Academy Is...

William Beckett has something The Veronicas needed (besides male anatomy): charisma. NSN may have given the best performance of the night, but William Beckett was the best performer. I thought The Veronicas knew how to work a stage, but he really knew what he was doing. And he was doing a lot. Throwing the mic stand. Lifting it up in the air. Standing on top of the speakers with his fist in the air. Standing on top of the speakers and staring intently at the audience. His set was like one big photo op: every five seconds, he doing something that looked iconic. In another life, he could've been a crazy demagogue.

Except his voice sounded kind of squeaky when he spoke. Not as high as Chris's, but it was weird, since his voice sounded freakishly deep when he introduced the remix of "Automatic Eyes" on Fall Out Boy's free mixtape. I don't know if that was the mic or just him... For the record, Martin sounded pretty high-pitched, too, but Travis didn't. Huh.

TAI's set opened with the spectacular rocker "Summer Hair=Forever Young." Love that song. And he never lost any steam, plowing through other high-energy should-have-been-hits like "Neighbors" and "His Girl Friday" without losing any steam. Watching Beckett's energy and listening to his crazy catchy hooks, I could not fathom how The Academy Is... had existed for so many years without becoming one of the most popular powerpop-punk bands around.

Near the end of their set, Beckett asked the audience who had seen The Academy Is... before. Big cheer. Then he asked whose first time it was. Cheer of roughly the same volume. He told us neophytes to put our hands in the air (Okay, he didn't use the word "neophytes;" I think he said "guys." Just trying to put those ol' vocab words to work here.) He welcomed us to the club and told us to keep our hands in the air while they played "We've Got a Big Mess on Our Hands." (By the end of the night, I could barely lift my arms after all this rocking out.)

When the set ended with "About a Girl," the energy in the pavilion could have powered the entire city of Baltimore. Or at least Pier Six's crazy loud speaker system. It was actually a bit of relief when the set ended. I was exhausted, but I couldn't stop myself from rocking out to every one of TAI's songs. They're too catchy for their own good.

Gym Class Heroes

The Veronicas may have been the misfits in the crowd's eyes (Jungle George and the other guys in the band just can't compete), Gym Class Heroes were the musical misfits. Before each set the DJs played a mixture of pop, pop-punk, and emo tunes - except before GCH's. This time, DJs got the crowd prepared for the dramatic shift from nonstop powerpop to chill alt hip-hop by playing other hip hop tunes. They sounded out of place at a concert full of girls in homemade Boys Like Girls and NSN shirts, but they were a welcome change.

Gym Class Heroes was the band at this show that I hadn't extensively listened to beforehand - of course I know "Cookie Jar" and "Cupid's Chokehold," but I hadn't listened any of their albums all the way through. Rap just isn't my thing, even when backed by guitars and a full band.

But much to my surprise, I thought GCH's set was the most enjoyable set of the night. It was so chill. Their music wasn't going at a mile a millisecond like TAI's, and unlike most of The Veronicas' tunes, it really was danceable. Also, being madly in love with Christopher Drew and William Beckett, and needing to show a little love for the underappreciated Veronicas, I felt like I needed to be the craziest dancer in the audience so that one of them would glance at me and know how much I adore them. But I didn't need to go crazy to show Travis what a dedicated fan I was because, well, I'm not a dedicated fan. So I was content to chill out and do my own thing, which was so much more fun than forcing myself to jump up and down through all the verses to outdo the kids who only jump during the choruses.

I think there is a valuable lesson here about being yourself and not trying to impress others, but I won't state it explicitly because that would just be too cheesy. This is a televised concert, not a Lifetime movie.

Travis didn't rock out or go crazy on stage like his predecessors - he was way too chill for that. The flashiest part of their set was a flag with their name on it that they waved during the first and last songs.

Oh, and the guy in the American flag shirt. That was pretty flashy.

They played all the essentials - "Cupid's Chokehold," "The Queen and I," "Peace Sign/Index Down" (everyone put up their peace sign but very few people continued to follow their instructions after that - would they have been allowed to air that on mtvU?) Before "Cookie Jar," Travis demonstrated his "power over the female species": He asked where the guys were. A few cheered enthusiastically, but compared to the night's other cheers, it was a mumble. THen he asked where his ladies were. Oh man. I'm gonna lose my hearing.

He repeated the exercise three times. The handful of guys cheered as loud as they could, but they couldn't lay a finger on the ladies' volume. And speaking of laying fingers on things...

"You know what this looks like to me?" Travis asked the fellows. "A big cookie jar!"

And he was so funny and he sounded so good, the song didn't even totally repulse like it usually does.

But the least repulsive song of the set - that is to say, my favorite song - was definitely "Guilty as Charged." Travis introduced the song by telling about his incident with the law and how much it taught him. He had just two words to say about it: "I'm... innocent!!!"

I gotta say, I loved Gym Class Heroes' set. Their low-key hip-hop was the perfect respite from all the thrashing guitars and hyperactive drummers in the preceding bands. And a great opportunity to catch my breath before things really got crazy...

mtvU's Oh-So Talented DJ

The guy who DJed this show really was cool. He kept us entertained without getting too cheesy - excluding a weird bit where he introduced The Veronicas by adopting a fake Australian accent and trying to scare the other DJ (who ruled the turntables) with a stuffed leopard. Umm, all right...

But this DJ has way more than plush toys up his sleeve. And before Boys Like Girls came on, the DJ gave us his very grand finale: a tribute to Michael Jackson.

The DJ expertly performed one of Michael Jackson's famous dances. This guy was great. He danced like a pro, sang pretty decently before introducing an earlier band, successfully and consistently got the crowd pumped by reminding them they could be on TV, and didn't tell lame jokes! I wish I could remember his name because as he deftly performed Michael's old moves, it became clear that he was one talented guy - a bit overqualified for his DJ job.

Or maybe he was perfectly qualified. As I said, mtvU knows how to throw a party.

Boys Like Girls

Even before they came onstage, it was clear that Boys Like Girls' set was going to be a little different. They were the headliners, after all, the closers - and they got quite a bit of special treatment. The stage, which had been littered with drum kits and speakers and who knows what else, was completely cleared for their performance (hey, more room for the DJ to dance like Michael). The sun had set before Gym Class Heroes began, but they hadn't really used any fancy lights for any of the performances.

But for BLG, they brought out the big guns. The lights changed - orange! purple! - as they ran on stage and performed their insanely catchy new single, "Love Drunk." The crowd went wild. Each member of BLG got his own platform to perform on, and they looked pretty darn awesome.

No doubt about it, BLG's set rocked. After "Love Drunk," they stuck almost entirely to songs from their self-titled debut album. "Five Minutes to Midnight," "On Top of the World," "Dance Hall Drug," "Heels Over Head," "Hero/Heroine"... I expected a mix of songs from their old album and the soon-to-be-released album Love Drunk (September 16th, who's pumped??!) but they only treated us to one new song: "HeartHeartHeartbreak."

Martin even gave us the whole cheesy speech about all the good things he's heard about Baltimore - how we're such hard partiers, how we'd never "stare at a new song like it's a painting" - and I guess the speech worked. He taught us the words to the chorus: "Now we're heading for a heart heart heartbreak/And I don't ever ever want to hear you say" - No, he does not continue with "I want it that way." But I expected him to. Every. Time. - "Don't say you loved me, don't even/Don't say you loved me, you're leaving."

You can check out a pretty good-quality video of the song from another show on their tour here.

The crowd was pretty into the song, although based on my experience listening to it afterwards on YouTube, it's one of those songs that doesn't seem too catchy the first time around but gets much better after a couple listens.

But the show certainly ended on a good note: for the last song, BLG's quintessential summer hit "The Great Escape," they invited the audience to join them onstage. In the mad dash for the stage, I got separated from my three friends - one of whom even sprained her ankle in the chaos! - and swept forward to the stage. I wasn't one of the hundreds of lucky ladies who made it onstage (by the time I got there, the security guards had woken up and got into position to stop us), but I was about two feet away and five feet below Paul. Then I got swept sideways to where Martin was giving out high-fives. When he high-fived me, my ring fell off, so I stayed where I was to look for it as he made his way to greet the fans at stage left. I was still searching when he and the crowd came back to center stage, so I got another high five. And a bracelet I found on the ground. Eh, I'll take it.

**Note: I've got a bunch of pictures and a few more tidbits about Martin's tongue action and some technical difficulties, but I'll have to post them later (since I'm kind of leaving for Italy for 10 days, like, right now)! Ttfn! :)

Upcoming Concerts to "Fall" For

2009-08-03T17:33:00.013-04:00

Hello world. Particularly the Washington DC and Baltimore metropolitan areas. It's that time of year again when so many bands announce their fall tours that I'm about to burst like an overinflated balloon if I don't let the world know all the awesome stuff going on in the next 3 months. Or at least my voice will sound all high-pitched and squeaky when I try to tell people about them. Excitement and overinflated balloon effect.

First up, those up-and-comers The Noisettes (or is it just Noisettes? There should be some standardizing of when to use The or the nothing at all...) will be coming to Rock N Roll Hotel with Phantogram next Wednesday, 8/12. Like most of America, I've only heard the British indie rockers' song "Don't Upset the Rhythm," but since they're fresh off tour supporting Lady Gaga, I figure they have to be worth a look.

That same night, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, and Chester French will all be performing at Hersheypark Stadium, which I suppose is kind of a bigger deal. There will be more amazing pop-punk/emo bands at that one show than there were on Warped Tour (no offense). I'd definitely make the two-hour drive for that show, especially since it's the closest Blink-182 will come to DC until Virgin FreeFest, and if you scored tickets to that, stop reading this. You're clearly on top of your concert schedule.

Concerts at Hersheypark are kind of the most amazing thing in the world, by the way. Better roller coasters, better gift shops, and better bands than Six Flags. Plus you can buy tickets to Hersheypark the day of or the day after the concert for about 40% off. It's awesome. Click for more info on shows and reduced price tickets. I saw the Jonas Brothers and Avril Lavigne play at Hersheypark Stadium last summer, and it was pretty much the greatest day-long concert experience imaginable. And if you're looking for something a bit lighter than Blink-182 to end your day at the park, may I suggest Demi Lovato and David Archuleta's show on Friday 8/21. David's sweet tunes should fit right in at a park full of people dressed up like Hershey Kisses and Reese's, and Demi's new album ranged from syrupy ballads to harder rock candy (with plenty of sugar throughout).

Alternatively, Rascal Flatts and Darius Rucker will be playing Hersheypark Stadium on Wednesday 8/29.

A bit closer to home, Baltimore has some great shows in August that haven't sold out yet. On Saturday 8/22, The Scene Aesthetic, The Color Fred, The Ready Set, Stephen Jerzak, and Tyler Williams (man, that's a mouthful) will all be playing at Sonar. Never heard of those last two guys, but since half of The Scene Aesthetic is Andrew from Danger Radio, I'd see them.

Why not just make it a weekend in Baltimore and stick around for Switchfoot and Blue October's show at Ram's Head Live on Sunday 8/23? (Or you could go home and come back. It's not that difficult.)

Although September is typically every teenager's nightmare, it will bring a few good indie bands to lighten your mood. I know I will be positively bouncing off the walls of my classrooms because I am super duper psyched to see OWL CITY at Rock N Roll Hotel on Saturday 9/12 WOOOOOO!!!!! Haha, I'm positively in love with that guy and his breath-taking electronic music experience. British electropopper Unicorn Kid will be opening, as will Norwegian indie darling Kate Havnevik. Kate's music seems a bit more subdued than Unicorn Kids' (Based on the tunes and pictures on his MySpace, I think he'll be bouncing off the walls as well, probably wearing a hat shaped like an animal's head). Performers from three different countries, coupled with Owl City's affinity to painting pictures of the sky, sea, and Seattle through his music, as well as Unicorn Kid's tendency to dress up like a lion, indicate that this should be a pretty exotic show. Being blindly in love with Owl City's songs, I may be a bit biased, but I think this is the must-see show for fall.

(Also, have I mentioned often enough that Owl City's fabulous new album is available now? And have I posted the spiffy banner yet? Sorry, I love this banner. Even if the single of the week dealio ended a while ago.)

After that little lovefest, I can't really make Yo La Tengo's show at the 9:30 Club on Thursday 9/17 look good. But it should be good.

Later in the month, a few good acts are coming to DAR Constitution Hall. Snow Patrol will storm in there on Friday 9/25. Lady Gaga will perform on Tuesday 9/29, and Regina Spektor will follow on Wednesday 9/30. I know quite a few people who are pretty pumped for Regina, so it looks like that might be a hot ticket as well.

Then October basically belongs to the 9:30 club and pop-punk. The first exciting show to hit there is Family Force 5, Breathe Carolina, Cash Cash, Queens Club, and I Rival on Wednesday 10/14. I personally have found that Breathe Carolina are impossible to listen to, live or on their recordings, because the bass is just so much louder than the music. But I'd gladly check out Cash Cash then try to snoop around and catch glimpses of the bands at their merch tables (or anywhere else) while waiting for Family Force 5.

But wait, there's more. October just keeps getting better, with All Time Low, We the Kings, Hey Monday, and Friday Night Boys (another one of those awkward band names that might or might not need to be preceded by "the") playing the 9:30 Club on Sunday 10/18. If you aren't drooling over that line-up, you need to listen to more Fueled by Ramen and similar bands.

Then comes the next-most drool-inducing tour of the fall: Hanson and Hellogoodbye co-headlining. (Steel Train and Sherwood supporting.) They're coming to Ram's Head Live on Monday 10/19 and 9:30 Club on Tuesday 10/20. I would post about how excited I am for this tour in gigantic, colorful letters, but I kind of want to keep it all to myself so it doesn't sell out before I convince my parents to let me go :) So I guess this subtle little blurb is your reward for reading (or skimming) through the August and September shows: Hanson, the forefathers of all boy bands, touring with Hellogoodbye, who are disappointingly far from boy-band territory, but still one of my favorite bands ever. Sure, Hanson may be pretty darn old at this point, but they are, like, classic. Compared to the Jonas Brothers, anyways.

Also, make sure you prep for the concert this week by checking out Hellogoodbye's new song "When We First Met" being streamed on Absolutepunk.com tomorrow.

Not too many November shows have been announced yet, but I'd start making plans now if you want to see Peter Bjorn & John with El Perro del Mar at the 9:30 Club on Saturday 11/7 or They Might Be Giants, also at the 9:30 Club, on 11/28. They Might Be Giants actually have two shows that day - a "special family show" at 3:00 and a show at 8:00 presumably geared toward audiences that are mostly of age. Spending Thanksgiving weekend with a bunch of small children at a They Might Be Giants Show? That sounds like a new holiday tradition I could get used to.

In the interest of not wasting time tediously linking to tickets for every single show, you can find tickets, times, and more information for each venue here:
9:30 Club
Rock N Roll Hotel
DAR Constitution Hall
Ram's Head Live
Sonar
Hersheypark

Ocean Eyes - Cover your eyes?

2009-07-26T22:44:00.003-04:00

So Owl City is having this contest, right? And to win an autographed poster, album, and $50 iTunes gift card, all you have to do is upload a review of his new album Ocean Eyes onto YouTube, right? And I figured, hey, how about I make a super cute video where my Beanie Babies and duck-shaped soap review the album? Wouldn't that be cute?

It ended up looking totally stupid. Mostly cuz I made it in under 4 hours with my arch nemesis, Windows Movie Maker. But also cuz it's stupid.

So I don't really want anyone to watch it... But since it's a music review that I made and posted online, I feel obligated to post it here... There's a legit review of the album in the last 20 seconds or so. I'll find it for you...

2:11. There's the review. So it's a review of Ocean Eyes, plus two minutes and 11 seconds of my Beanie Babies sitting in front of my mom's calendar. What great work.

But for reals, the album is a million trillion zillion times better than my lame little video. Check it out on iTunes or buy it in stores and other places this Tuesday!

Such a Perfect Video

2009-07-20T20:49:00.004-04:00

Coldplay's new video for "Strawberry Swing" premiered today, and I can't say a whole lot about it because it's too breath-taking. Maybe I'm just a sucker for music videos mixing live action with animation, but I'd say it's one of the most beautiful, artful videos I've ever seen.

Watch it. Please.

Super Psyched about Rosy Likes Red's Win!

2009-07-20T18:36:00.006-04:00

Just wanted to say congrats to Rosy Likes Red for making Syke Band of the Month. I love Syke, and I love Rosy Likes Red, so I would say that I was totally psyched to see that they won... but that pun would just be too cheesy. I'll go with "stoked" instead.

Also, I am going to stop telling people I love Rosy Likes Red and switch to I absolutely adore Rosy Likes Red because they are just so sweet. They even linked to my review in their MySpace blog. I really wish I was going to be in the country for their shows at the Recher Theater and Jammin Java in August. But I definitely recommend that everyone else in the area goes and checks them out!

In other Rosy Likes Red-related news, the band has posted a bunch of pictures from Warped Tour on their MySpace (I'm still looking for the back of my head so I can brag even more about how good my spot was ^^)

And in case you haven't read my review of their set and are wondering who these guys are that I keep blabbering about, it is your duty as a Maryland citizen (or foreign reader cool enough to be from Maryland) to read my review of this amazing lil local band then check out their songs.

Might Be the Nicest, Sweetest Pimp Ever

2009-07-20T17:17:00.010-04:00

It would be easy to call Stephen Barnes another little Internet novelty singer because a lot of his songs are pretty novel. Take his acoustic cover of "Swing" by Savage. I never thought that song could be heartwarming, but he sings "knees bent, ass out, come on push your ass out" in such a tender way.

But is that really so surprising from the man behind "Might Be a Pimp," the sweetest little song you've ever heard about prostitutes.

"I might be a pimp
And you might be a ho
But baby I will love you until I grow old"

Awww. It's fun, catchy, and - to make a good deal better - free! All Stephen's songs are available for free download on his PureVolume, and yes, all of them are just as sweet and heartwarming as his songs about prostitution.

If you're in the mood for something a bit more wholesome (but no less novel), I'd recommend my personal favorite Stephen Barnes song, "Handstands for Kelsey." It's an acoustic cover of a mash-up of "Bruises" by Chairlift and "Kelsey" by Metro Station, and no, it does not sound as bad as you think it should. It actually sounds pretty amazing. Check it out. On his MySpace player because this song isn't on YouTube. I trust that even all you Facebookies can find the song :)

Stephen's MySpace looks like a clone of NeverShoutNever's, or at least a younger brother trying his best to imitate NSN. And that's probably no coincidence - when Stephen sent me a friend request, I saw NSN listed as one of our 8 mutual friends. Of course, Stephen is nowhere near as successful as NSN - NSN has over 136 times as many MySpace friends as Stephen (yeah, I did the math). But Stephen's songs trade the simplicity and childlike joy of many of NSN's songs for more sophisticated songwriting. Although I must admit, NeverShoutNever's songs keep getting more and more elaborate, as anyone who's heard The Summer EP knows.

...Well, I don't really have anything newsworthy to say about Stephen Barnes; I just heard his music for the first time about an hour ago, actually. So I don't really know what he's up to, so I guess I'll just leave this here... But wasn't that cover of "Swing" newsworthy enough, even if the original Savage/Soulja Boy song was released almost a year ago and Stephen's cover was released months ago? I thought the whole world needed to know about it ASAP.

Edit: Jaykay, apparently any similarities between Stephen's profile and NeverShoutNever's are purely coincidental. Stephen told me he's not a big fan of NSN and is "trying to be nothing like nsn."
I guess even musicians don't have to like all their MySpace friends...

A Brilliant Array of "Fireflies" Light the Sky

2009-07-18T08:39:00.003-04:00

I blame the lazy, lightning bug-filled nights of summer for making me forget to tell the entire world that Owl City's new single "Fireflies" has been available for free download on iTunes all this week. But you still have two days to zap over to iTunes and grab a copy.

Or you could always pay $.99 for this beautiful little ode to fireflies, insomnia, and other wondrous dreams. A song as magical as this is kind of worth the money.

But wait, there's more - the music video for "Fireflies" premiered yesterday on Owl City's MySpace! Normally I hate videos that all take place in one room and videos where the singer is just sitting at a piano the whole time - yawn! But this video takes place in no ordinary bedroom. Yet again, Owl City takes a mundane situation and turns it into a gorgeous work of art (for more examples of this, see "Early Birdie," a song about going on vacation, complete with highways and shuttle buses, but described in the breath-taking way only Owl City can describe them).

Cute, child-like, wondrous, beautiful.

Owl City "Fireflies"

And where can I get that adorable little dancing wind-up crab at 1:58???

Also, congrats to Owl City for having the #2 album on iTunes. Yup, Ocean Eyes is second only to Daughtry, beating out the Black Eyed Peas, Michael Jackson, and every other band in the world that is not Daughtry.

It's taken me all week to wrap my head around "Fireflies"' beauty, so I'm not quite ready to extensively review Ocean Eyes, but I can tell you I definitely recommend it. (Also, may I note that it only costs $7.99 right now - pretty good.) As always, Owl City's songs shine a thousand little lights on the beauty in everything from the sea to the sky to the city of Seattle to dancing lightning bugs.

Warped Tour Diary Part 1: The Canned Food Conundrum, Sing It Loud, and the Next Jonas Brothers?!!?

2009-07-15T17:05:00.039-04:00

Warped Tour. Alternative Press can (and will) spend hours talking about how it's the only summer tour that matters (What, AP's not into the JoBros World Tour? Or Demi Lovato and David Archuleta??), so you can pick up a copy of their magazine if you want a long-winded explanation of why Warped Tour is awesome. For my introduction, all I can say is, it is. It's big and long and hot and sweaty and weird and scary and hilarious and it would probably smell like gym socks if not for the overwhelming stench of tobacco. But we love it anyways.

2009's tour was an extremely momentous occasion: it marked the first time in history that my parents actually let me go. So this Tuesday, my friend and I got up at the crack of 7:00 (soooo earrrlyyyyy...) to make sure we got to the Merriweather Post Pavilion before the crowds did (I hear they start arriving around 9:00).

Tiffany, my friend laughed at your blog about being in the middle of the woods since Columbia Mall is literally across the street from Merriweather Post, but I totally feel you. I was sure I would get attacked by a bear while trying to find the main entrance in that forest. First, I got to the North Gate, which appears to be the chill entrance. Everyone was just sitting in circles on the ground. I'd like to chill there next year. But I was meeting up with a friend of a friend who had been standing in line at the main entrance since 7:30 (now that's dedication), so I had to rush past Barely Blind and their $5 EPs (all the way from Texas - wow!) and hug the fence of the pavilion, leaving a trail of Chewy bar crumbs so I wouldn't get lost.

(Okay, so maybe hugging the fence was enough to keep me from getting lost. Plus there was no way I was dropping any of my well-hid snacks on the ground. But didn't that make a cute story?)

We got in line easily enough, applied some sunscreen, and settled in for the long wait. The guys from The Promise Hero came by hocking their $5 EP, but they didn't seem too impressed when I started squealing about how I'm friends with them on MySpace and think they're really cool. Honestly, they seemed a bit more interested in my friend's friend's tank top and short shorts. Guys.

A few other people came by touting $5 EPs, and one guy even had an EP he was willing to sell for $2-5, whatever we were comfortable paying. That was cool. But he still focused his attention on the girls in tank tops and lost a sale because of it. We also got accosted by the friendly folks from Peta2, which has now decided to give away DVDs and stickers at every musical event in the world. I signed a petition against animal testing by cosmetics companies, despite my burning hatred for organizations that spend their money giving out free DVDs and stickers when they could use the money to, oh, I don't know, help animals, or something like that. But whatever.

My friends and I all brought canned foods because we wanted free cut-the-line passes. And we like helping those less fortunate. We kept looking for places to drop it off (because I really don't want to carry my condensed milk and canned peaches around all day, thank you), but the Peta2 girls were clueless about it, and the Merriweather employees actually refused to talk about it. Weird. But around 10:00, all us line-jumping do-gooders got to stand under a tree, then move to a secret entrance next to some trailers, across the street from the dumpsters. Apparently this was the VIP entrance, too.

At first, we were all smushed together into one big line. I was standing near a guy wearing an Owl City t-shirt and was about to profess my love for Owl City to him and ask him if he was a member of the street team too and ask him to be my best friend, but just then, they divided our big mass of people trying to pass itself off as a line into two big masses of people trying to pass themselves off as the VIP line and the other line. Owl City Fan was a VIP, and I was a mere canned food-carrying commoner. Sigh. I never got to talk to him. I did manage to holler "I like you NeverShoutNever shirt" at a rather bewildered boy in a NeverShoutNever shirt, though.

They said they'd let our line in 10-15 minutes early, but by the time we got in, the pavilion was already flooded by folks from the main entrance. So maybe we would've gotten in earlier if we hadn't helped the needy. Oh well. Time to spend $2 on a sheet of paper with the schedule and move on!

The First Band: Sing It Loud

After our first lap around the pavilion, I bought a $6 smoothie (Sorry hon, I ain't paying $2 extra to carry around a sticky souvenir cup all day. Though the 3-foot tall $9 cups did look pretty darn cool...) and settled in to watch Sing It Loud's set.

Pat Brown has prettier hair than any other non-transvestite on Warped Tour. (But he's got nothing on Jeffree Star.)

My overpriced strawberry smoothie and I rocked out to a couple songs, including "Bite Your Lip." I truly admire Sing It Loud for noticing that a girl is biting her lower lip. Any other Warped Tour band would probably have called the song "Flash Your Tits" or "Shake Your Ass." Props to Sing It Loud for looking above chest-level.

My New Favorite Band: Rosy Likes Red

During Sing It Loud's last song, my friend and I made our way over the Kevin Says stage to get a good spot for the Baltimore band Rosy Likes Red. We got there pretty early, so there were plenty of spaces available to stand near the stage... including front row, center. Right in front of two giant speakers, of course, but you can't pass up a Great Spot like that. Sacrifice your hearing for the love of music.

While the band was setting up, two girls approached us and asked if we were there to see Vamps or if we'd be leaving after this band played (yeah, you know you want our Great Spot). We told them we were just here for Rosy Likes Red, then we'd probably go to another stage, so they could have our Great Spot. I checked out the schedule, seeing that Rosy Likes Red was scheduled to begin at 11:50, and Vamps was playing... at 3:55.

"You're seeing Vamps at 4:00?" I asked the girls, confused.

"Yeah," she said, and explained that they're a Japanese band who doesn't come to the US very often. She's gone to New York to see them before, so I guess standing outside in front of some speakers for 4 hours was no big... That's dedication. The Vamps fans were really cool. I tried to bond with them over our love of Asian Music No Other Non-Asians Listen To, but my mangled pronunciation of Aof Pongsak meant nothing to them. They also kind of liked Girls Generation, though, so that was cool. I'm definitely going to check out Vamps sometime, see if they're really worth the hot, sweaty wait.

But our conversation was cut short when Rosy Likes Red worked out their technical difficulties (for the moment...) and began their set.

I'd never heard of Rosy Likes Red before Warped Tour, so I can't tell you exactly which songs they played, but I can tell you they sounded good. On their MySpace, they describe themselves as new wave/emo/post punk with a retro sound. I don't know much about new wave post punk (for one thing, I thought that was an oxymoron...), but I would classify them as pop-punk. Their music reminded me of Blink-182's lighter stuff. I picked up a copy of their EP after the show (and got them all to sign it - yay!). I can definitely recommend the songs "Girl, You Take My Breath Away" and "Give Up." "Down" sounds a bit shakier on the EP, not quite as melodious, but still pretty rockin'.

But the thing that really struck me about Rosy Likes Red was their image and stage presence. Lead singer Connor looked very striking in a black tee, red skinny jeans, and mismatched red and black Chucks. Was it just coincidence that he was wearing fire engine pants, which were the trademark of Joe Jonas before they became the trademark of every lite emo hipster? Or that bassist Byron had a fauxhawk, which was the trademark of Joe Jonas before the band got involved with Disney and Disney reportedly cut off the Joehawk because it was too immature? Rosy Likes Red's stage presence reminded me of the Jonas Brothers before every elementary schooler in the world had a Camp Rock pillowcase, back when they were just a little pop-punk band from Jersey that was heavier on the pop. Disney probably won't be banging down Rosy Likes Red's door because RLR is certainly heavier on the punk half of the genre than the JoBros ever were, but RLR's on-stage antics were certainly reminiscent of the free Jonas Brothers concert I saw in Six Flags two years ago, before they released their first album on a Disney-owned record label. Connor jumped and danced around, just as Kevin Jonas always did. He also walked right up to the edge of the stage, on top of the speakers, looking too cool in his wayfarer shades. He didn't quite have the Joe Jonas Rockstar Strut down, but he was getting there.

Cute moment: Rosy Likes Red's motto is "Get naked and dance!" Near the beginning of the set, Connor said that. A girl behind me started lifting up her tank top.

"Oh my God!" Connor screamed. "She's actually doing it!"

Sure, I don't honestly believe she was going to take it all off, and I don't if Connor really believed that either, but it was the cutest thing ever. Any other band would've cheered and egged her on, but Rosy Likes Red seemed genuinely shocked, bless their skinny-jeans-loving little hearts.

But seriously folks, Rosy Likes Red were awesome. And Jonas haters, please don't write them off because I just spent the last 250 words saying their set was like a "Year 3000"-era Jonas Brothers nostalgia tour. They aren't little JoBros wannabes or anything like that. They're a super cool local band everyone should check out.

Also, their drummer looked amazing. I don't know much about drumming, but I do know that the way he went from the snare and toms to the cymbals looked really cool. Their songs didn't have very funky beats, but he played them in a pretty funky-looking way. I never saw him do the traditional one-hand-on-snare-other-on-tom setup most drummers use. I think... Uggh, I know nothing about drumming, but I think their drummer was really cool. Drummers, please comment and either explain what I'm trying to say or just tell me I'm crazy.

Rosy Likes Red had a bunch of technical difficulties during their set, but they handled them with charm and charisma. Connor spilled his drink on the wires connecting his mic and guitar, but he turned the whole thing into a joke about how he's such a crazy, destructive rock star. Lots of things kept going wrong with their equipment, but RLR never missed a beat. Very good for a little local band on the Kevin Says stage.

Did I mention how close to the stage we were? We were so close to the stage. I think I could have touched Connor if I had reached my hand out. But no one else was trying to touch him, and RLR isn't super famous (yet), so I was afraid I would come off as weird and creepy instead of cute and fangirly. So I kept my hands to myself.

I still want to be able to reach out and touch someone on some stage at some point in my life, though.

Also, at the end of their set, some guy in short shorts and nothing else came running out on stage. It reminded me of how Hellogoodbye concerts usually end with guys dressed up in colorful Mexican garb or beer bottle costumes dancing around the stage. It was random, but it was a cool touch.

After the set, my friend and I went over to RLR's tent to hang out with them and get autographs and the like. We both bought their EP and got everyone to sign it. At first, the guys started signing the front of the plastic case instead of the disc itself. Then they realized it was better to sign the actual disc. Cuties. Guess they aren't too used to giving autographs.

Other cool fact: my friend went bowling with their bassist, Byron, and he recognized her! Yeah, I'm friends with friends of famous people. Be jealous.

I also got my picture taken with all the members of RLR except Connor, who was busy talking to some friends and kind of oblivious to the fact that me and my friend were standig right next to him for, oh, I don't know, five minutes. Hmmm. It was worth it to get his autograph, though. Plus it gave me some time to check out Alana Grace, who played on the Kevin Says stage after RLR. She sounded all right. One of the few female-fronted rock bands at Warped Tour this year (or was she a solo artist with a back-up band?). The few minutes I heard of her set weren't very remarkable, though I liked her black tee with gold writing on it. Couldn't read it, but it looked cool.

And thus ends Part 1 of my diary of my day at Warped Tour. Stay tuned for the dish on Lights, the scariest mosh pit I've ever seen (not Lights'), and a very pissy British band that is not afraid to kick you in the vagina.

This Week's Concert Forecast: Hot with a Chance of Dancing and Jumping for Joy

2009-06-24T14:32:00.007-04:00

Although summer in DC is almost always blazing, a few weeks are certainly hotter than others in the music scene. This week has a pretty major heatwave in store for Marylanders.

First up, start your weekend early by catching electropop genius Owl City at Sonar tomorrow night. His albums can magically pick you up and take you on a whirlwind tour of the skies from California ("West Coast Friends") to Vienna ("Dear Vienna"). He may be known for his good production and MySpace success, but his live performances are said to be just as flawless as the performances he records in his basement. His sold-out show in Vienna, VA this May got stellar reviews on his official street team site. I've heard that show was a non-stop dance party, and I'm sure tomorrow's show will be no different.

Owl City's summer tour is winding down in preparation for the release of his sophomore album, Ocean Eyes, this July. Sorry for the short notice, but tomorrow is the last chance to catch him until his fall tour stops at Rock n Roll Hotel on September 12th.

The big festivals don't come to Maryland until July and August, but it's never too early to start preparing for Virgin Mobile Festival. Normally, this preparation would include months of saving up for the event (but wasn't it worth $80?), but this year, the cheap music gods have smiled upon Maryland. The Virgin Mobile FREEFESTival will be bringing Blink-182, Weezer, Taking Back Sunday, Mates of State, and too many other amazing acts to list to Merriweather Post Pavilion. And no, by "free," they are not referring to freedom and liberty and all that jazz. Tickets really are free. Really. Check The Washington Post if you need proof.

Calling the tickets "hot" would be like calling dry ice "lukewarm," so you'd better plan on snagging some the second they go on sale - er, on give away? how do you describe this? - this Saturday at 10:00. Get to that website like your life depends on it, or better yet, like you're getting Jonas Brothers tickets for kid sister who will pout all year if she misses their summer tour.

Then on Tuesday, the party's coming to Recher Theater in Towson. Cash Cash, Every Avenue, Valencia, The Morning Light, and Sparks the Rescue will all be performing. Five bands for $12: now that deal's almost as good as Virgin's. Listening to Cash Cash is always a party, in your bedroom or elsewhere. I don't really listen to any of the other bands, but I've heard great things about Every Avenue and Valencia, and I definitely think they're worth a look.

Those are my must-sees for the week (and since I'll be out of the country for the rest of the week, I fully expect you readers to check them out then comment on their fabulousness). I predict that the next big heatwave coming to the area begins around July 13th, when the Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks, and Honor Society's fans mob the Verizon Center, those not blessed enough to get tickets party with Honor Society at a church in the middle of the night, and those too cool to care about those guys see Hey Monday, This Providence, The Friday Night Boys, Stereo Skyline, and The Bigger Lights at Jammin Java. (Funny story: Hey Monday's show has sold out, but the Jonas Brothers still have a few single seats available. But Hey Monday aren't the one's touting a "sold-out tour"...). Then of course, Warped Tour comes to Merriweather Post the next day.

May I Just Say "Yum"?

2009-06-19T10:18:00.000-04:00

From ear candy to eye candy to gigantic bowls of Froot Loops, here are a few quick ways to satisfy your sonic sweet tooth:

"Strawberry Avalanche" by Owl City

Owl City's single of the month for June is a refreshing journey under the candy-coated clouds... sounds gag-inducing, I know, but this magical electropop song is really more substantial than just saccharine. Let this "Strawberry Avalanche" crash you. You won't be disappointed.

Also, check out a cute fan-made video for the song here. Crayon drawings of people in sleeping bags and strawberries? Awww.

Looking for a few more songs to whet your appetite? Check out:

"Sugar Rush" by Cash Cash - I've said it before but I'll say it again... Actually, I don't even have to. This pop confection's name says it all.
"Chewing Gum" by Annie - Another aptly named track. Though Annie's strong beats and high-pitched vocals aren't rich like chocolate, this electropop tune will stay in your head longer than any gum's flavor.
(Warning: The video for "Chewing Gum" flat-out scares me... And after having it in your head for an hour or two, your gag reflex may be extremely heightened. Actually, I cannot in good conscience suggest that anyone listen to this song... But it is quite sugary.)

Okay, and now for a picture that will really make your mouth water:
Mike Goodrick may still be struggling to make it big in the music industry, but he is clearly no starving artist. Check out that ginormous bowl of Froot Loops. Yummm...

Are his acoustic songs sweeter than all that sugary cereal? Is that even possible? See for yourself at his MySpace.

And more importantly, how many gallons of milk would you need for all that cereal???

It's Alright... I Guess

2009-06-17T10:50:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, Ashley Tisdale performed her new single "It's Alright, It's Okay" off her upcoming "edgy rock album" (the news guy's words, certainly not mine), on Good Morning America. The performance offered a fleeting glimpse of what will hopefully be a fleeting phase in her musical career.

The first thing you notice about Ashley Tisdale these days is "Whoa, her hair is brown." While fashion magazines can pore over whether or not this means brunette is yet again the new blond, the most striking thing about Ashley's new locks is that, from a distance, she is now a dead ringer for that other Ashley you thought disappeared years ago, Ashlee Simpson.

Ashley T. seems to be fully embracing the Ashlee S. look, complete with the "Pieces of Me"-era lackluster dance moves. Really, Ashleys, you can't just shake your shoulders willy-nilly. Shake 'em like you mean it, like you really want to thrust your... shoulders... into the camera's personal space. But I guess Ashley T. is still too good a Disney girl for that kind of popstar dancing.

Ashley has delegated all responsibility for destroying that good-girl image to her legs, which are fully embracing their new duty. Sure, she's worn booty shorts before, most notably in the "Be Good to Me" video, which I saw three times in one night while babysitting a four year-old Hannah Montana fanatic. I was torn between my desire to cover her eyes, turn off the TV, and/or spontaneously offer up some ice cream to distract her and my desire to make sure I was actually seeing Ashley Tisdale. In booty shorts. On Disney Channel.

My eyes did not deceive me then, not, unfortunately, did they deceive me yesterday when Ashley wore DIY booty shorts apparently made by hacking off the entire legs of an innocent pair of jeans. In case Ashely's quarter-inch inseam was not eye-catching enough already, a white thing peeked out form each pantleg. Were they handkerchiefs? Were her shorts deemed so inappropriate that the producers demanded she wear white spandex underneath? Did she need Icy Hot patches from all the rigorous lackluster-dance workouts? No, it turned out these white fabric flaps covering her upper thighs were her pockets, which had been somehow spared during the butchering of the rest of her jeans. If only they had been cut off and our fashion sensibility had been spared instead.

Note to the world: cutoffs with the pockets hanging out below the hem line are neither alright nor okay.

And that brings us to the song itself. In another apparent attempt to be Ashlee Simpson, "It's Alright, It's Okay" is a piece of crazy catchy pop-punk that's almost saccharine enough to give you a toothache. The lyrics are far from profound, making it the identical cousin of every other semi-former Disney girl breakout attempt that has been released in the past five years. Its thrashing guitars during the chorus are pleasant enough, but halfway through the chorus, you expect it to turn into "So What" by Pink.

It's alright, okay
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry...
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

Every time, I expect her to start singing "So What," and every time she disappoints me.

I know that accusing popstars of ripping off each other's songs leads down a dangerous, slippery slope that even the U.S. legal system dares not tread because halfway to an out-of-court settlement, you realize that there are only so many three chord combinations possible. But really, "It's Alright, It's Okay" sounds like "So What" 's baby sister that tries to replicate her cool older sister's wardrobe with clothes from Club Libby Lu. The result? A toothless yet thrashing girl-powered ode to not needing a man... that utterly lacks conviction.

The song is fun enough to dominate the Radio Disney charts until the Jonas Brothers' new album comes out (oops, too late), but it's still now as good as the best songs from Ashley's last album, to pop gem - okay, that's overstating it; more like sugar crystal - "He Said She Said" and the hilarious piece of ironic social commentary "Not Like That." (excerpt from lyrics: "I'm a normal girl like you who hates clubbing because all those plebes are so effing jealous of my fabulousness")(excerpt may have been paraphrased). I love that song. It's the most danceable piece of ironic social commentary after Millionaires' "Hey Rich Boy" (excerpt from lyrics: Boys if you want girls like me, flash that cash where we can see. You think I want that ice cold money - well, hell yeah, it's fucking yummy!) and Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" (excerpt from lyrics: "I am soooo wasted. Date rape me, Colby!")(Lady Gaga lyrics paraphrased. Millionaires lyrics unaltered.)(No, really, look them up...)(Told you so.)

I'd say Ashley Tisdale's post-High School Musical future is looking even dimmer than Vanessa Hudgens', whose upcoming movie Bandslam looks about as good as any movie whose working title was Rock On! can be expected to look. But hopefully, both these girls' careers will last longer than the cutoff-jeans-with-dangling-pockets look will. Hopefully that look ended, like, right after Ashley's performance.

You can watch the performance and chat with a Good Morning America guy here, at least until ABC catches on to the fact that the person who posted the video probably doesn't own the copyrights to it.

New Moon-inspired song lives up to its name

2009-06-11T14:40:00.009-04:00

It can take a while to ease out of final exam mode into summer mode. To help ease the transition, this blog is in multiple choice format.

Directions: For each question in this entry, select the best answer form among the choices given and do not fill in any corresponding circles please because writing on your computer screen in No. 2 pencil is never a good idea. Trust me.

You have 10 seconds to answer the following question because there is an amazing song you have to hear ASAP. No wasting time!

Which of the following is the best cheesy introduction to the new song "Irresistible" by Oh, Hush!?
a) Oh, Hush!'s new song "Irresistible" will have you howling with delight.
b) Oh, Hush! is very familiar with secret identities. Maybe that's why these top-secret Internet music sensations sympathize so strongly with werewolf Jacob Black... or maybe it's just because of his abs.
c) Note to Jacob: Bella so would've chosen you if she'd heard this song.
d) This song is "irresistible!"... ha... ha...
e) Dude, those are all the lamest things I've ever heard.

I think E is correct... aw, just watch the video. It's definitely the catchiest Twilight-inspired song I've ever heard.

Choose the best course of action after watching the video:
a) Use you supernatural super speed to run over to Oh, Hush!'s MySpace and ask the guys what they think of Twilight. They'll actually comment back.
b) Wait to see what fabulous surprises they have in store for 6/22/09!
c) Hit play on the video again. Then again when it finishes. Then again. And again. And again...
d) Drag the playhead to that picture of Taylor Lautner with his shirt off... what?

My answers for that last one were A and C. I didn't do D, I swear... really...

Now Everyone Wants to Be On a Boat

2009-06-06T15:41:00.006-04:00

Because meeting Mickey Mouse just isn't good enough for kids these days, Disney is stepping it up this summer. For all of you who have dreamed of going on sun-drenched Caribbean cruises with the tweenaged rich and famous, your dream has just come true.

In a brilliant attempt to lure families to their cruise lines, Disney now offers cruises with the stars of Camp Rock, Sonny With a Chance, JONAS, and several of their other official shows and movies. And by "stars," they mean minor supporting characters. Still, a cruise with That Breakdancing Kid from Camp Rock is a cruise with That Breakdancing Kid from Camp Rock. I personally dream of going on the cruise with Camp Rock's Alyson Stoner and Meaghan Martin on August 2nd. Staterooms the size of walk-in closets starting at $3400! Sleeps four!

Passengers on these cruises will get to take pictures with the stars, get stuff autographed by the stars, ask the stars questions during special panel discussions, and party it up for one "a high-energy evening with shows and a special musical performance" by a "Radio Disney star!"

This deal just cements the fact that cruise boats are the hot place to be this summer, whatever age you are. You know, grandparents and cruises go together like kids with funny haircuts and Warped Tour. Now Disney's appealing to the crowd who wants to be like Zack & Cody, not the ones who want the opportunity to sing "I'm On a Boat" while actually, you know, on a boat. Because that is so much cooler than shouting it at, say, the MTV Movie Awards.

Wait, maybe these kids do want to shout "I'm On a Boat," too...

NOTE: Parents with small children are advised to steer clear of the July 19th cruise featuring Jason Earles of Hannah Montana because people who meet Earles in person may realize that he is actually 32 years old, and this realization could scar your youngsters for life.

Yeah, and you thought Kevin Jonas being 21 was creepy.

2009's Perfect{opop} Summer Playlist

2009-05-31T10:35:00.015-04:00

Ah, the sounds of summer. Birds chirping, cicadas buzzing, air conditioners whirring... oh yeah, and all the sounds blaring from your radio and ipod. With concerts on weeknights (no such thing as a school night - w00t!), concerts at theme parks (gotta love Six Flags' freebies), concerts that take all day to drive to and all night to drive home (how far is Bristol? who cares?!), and lots of time to browse MySpace Music, summer's the perfect time to check out some new tunes.

Only time will tell which of this summer's songs will be the most memorable, but here are my predictions of 12 songs from the soundtrack of this summer:

The Top 40 Dominatrix:
Yeah, it's that song that you'll hear again and again on the radio, at the mall, in your friend's car, until you hate it. Then love it. Then hate it even more. This summer's airwaves are expected to be a battleground between defending champ Lady Gaga, the resurgent Kelly Clarkson, and the new staple Katy Perry, but my choice for Top 40's song of the summer is
"I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson (video)

The Song to Dance to All Night Long:
I know, I know, bloggers flock to Black Kids' alt dance tunes like mosquitoes are drawn to bug zappers... Wait, no, Black Kids are way more effective than bug zappers. Even if this boldly named multiracial indie band has been the blogosphere's sweethearts since long before summer 2009, their so-retro-it's-cutting-edge synth jams are the perfect fit for parties this summer. Fun, funky, hip, and undeniably danceable. Make sure no DJ is without
"I've Underestimated My Charm Again" by Black Kids
(Bonus! Check out this crazy video of the song set to scenes from Mystery Science Theater's classic Manos: The Hands of Fate. Though it lags at times, overall, this fan-made's as much fun as anything the band could cook up.)

The Song with "Summer" in the Title:
It may seem a bit tacky, but you know you're a sucker for cheesy songs that scream "IT'S SUMMER!!!!" at the tops of their lungs. There must be at least one on every playlist. And while the radio stations are aching to ride discosticks, try a lesser-known song by today's queen of Top 40:
"Summerboy" by Lady Gaga

The Other Song With "Summer" in the Title:
Yeah, two songs dropping the s-bomb (summer, that is) verges on totally tacky, but this summer's playlist could not be complete without something by The Academy Is... Their last album's late August release date prevented us from dancing to it at the beach for most of last summer. You may have heard it at Warped Tour last year, but this year, make up for lost time by rocking out to the album's toe-tapping jam,
"Summer Hair = Forever Young" by The Academy Is...

Your New Summer Loves:
A lot of great albums have come out in the past year, but you can't spend all summer listening to the same songs you've been hearing all school year. The perfect addition to your pop collection? Take It to the Floor by Cash Cash. While you were busy studying, the most adorable Jersey boys since the JoBros were touring with the likes of Kevin Rudolph and Cobra Starship. Their lead single "Party in Your Bedroom" is just now hitting the airwaves in most places, along with its much buzzed-about video. The boys' sunny dance-pop songs will get you more sugar-high than a visit to the ice cream man, so taste the candy-coated track
"Sugar Rush" by Cash Cash

The Song You'll Have Stuck in Your Head for Days - and Love Every Minute of It:
In the winter, people worry about catching the flu. In the summer, they worry about the plethora of catchy songs churned out by Disney Channel and it affiliates. You either love 'em or you love to hate 'em. This year, you can still hear plenty of catchy new tunes on JONAS and the upcoming Hannah Montana 3 CD, but I think this summer is already saturated with JoBros tunes. So if you're looking for a pop song that'll have you bouncing off the walls, turn off the TV for a sec and get your sugar rush from an unaffiliated singer like Owl City. The lead single from his upcoming album Ocean Eyes is just as catchy and whimsical as the songs on any kids' show.
"Hot Air Balloon" by Owl City

The Song to Have a Picnic to:
I know everyone loves a sweet love song, but put the Jason Mraz album down and step away from the boombox. I for one have heard "I'm Yours" enough times in the past few months to last ten summers. Summer's a great time to branch out and listen to some new sweeties, like my personal fave NeverShoutNever. If the songs he's leaked so far are any indication, his upcoming release The Summer EP should be the quintessential soundtrack to the season. This track will make your heart melt more quickly than a popsicle dropped on the hot pavement:
"Hummingbird" by NeverShoutNever!

The Song to Chill by the Pool with:
The founders of Bishop Allen may be Harvard grads, but their music is a fun escape from academic tedium. A little string-filled eccentric, a little coffee-sipping hipster, and a lot of fun, you gotta check out
"Dimmer" by Bishop Allen

The Song to Blast in the Car:
What, no new release by Rooney this year? Since their next album is still in the works, I guess we can't rely on blasting any of their retro powerpop tunes from our stereos this summer... They're my fun car trip staples, but since I've listened to "When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" more times than any sane person should, I think it's time to take a break. Digging back into the pile of CD's under the dashboard, I suggest you try some of Relient K's older tunes. All the retro fun of Rooney with more eccentric lyrics. (Remember "Marilyn Manson ate my girlfriend"? It's kind of unforgettable...) I don't need a magazine to tell me I'm still in love with
"17 Magazine" by Relient K

The Slightly Guilty Pleasure:
It's summer. Blast that song you can't believe you love from your stereo and live a little... You saw Glee, right? No? Then you'd best hop over to its website and check out the pilot. It's like if they remade High School Musical with good writing, interesting adult characters, and better music, including a fantastic rendition of the Journey classic
"Don't Stop Believing" by the cast of Glee

The Crazy Rocker:
You know you downloaded it illegally. Or you're going to in about 5 seconds. I'll make it even easier by linking to a video with the download link. With a title like this, you gotta expect great things from
"Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous" by Cobra Starship

The Sneak Attack:
You know how earlier, I advised everyone to pass up the Jonas Brothers' pop fluff this summer? That would be because the JoBros have so many better songs to offer. With horns and some pretty rockin' guitars, I think these Disney boys are actually able to pull off a song titled "World War III." Really. I love 'em, but I never thought they'd have it in 'em. Based on the 30-second preview alone, I think this song could fight its way to the top of any respectable playlist:
"World War III" by the Jonas Brothers

Well, that should at least give you a good headstart on your summer playlist. I guess we'll just have to wait and see which songs zoom up to the top of your Most Played list and which fail to launch...

and enjoy the summer :)

A Sunny Break from a Humdrum Day

2009-05-06T19:54:00.004-04:00

Yet Another Reason to Adore NeverShoutNever:
Just when you need a break from the humdrum routine of studying for APs, finals, or whatever madness your blind teachers throw at you (can't they see how gorgeous and sunny it is these days? really...)(well, not today specifically, but in general...), NSN releases a marvelous little ray of sunshine in mp3 format. Flit on over to his PureVolume to download his new song "Hummingbird" for free today through Monday.

Also, watch out for NSN's soon-to-be-announced national tour and new EP (aptly titled The Summer EP) coming out June 23rd. If this track is representative of the EP, I predict the songs on it will vying with "Summerboy" by Lady Gaga to be my favorite super-summery-sounding song this year.

...All this talk about humming makes me crave some Hey Nick, Hummus a Tune in all its "creamy, garlicky goodness." If you haven't seen all the delectable dishes named after the JoBros in DisneyChannel.com's JONAS VIP Party Pack, you should check them out. I think they're funnier than the show...

April Showers & a Fount of New Info

2009-04-21T16:27:00.007-04:00

While homework and studying have been eating my life for the past couple weeks, a few random things have happened. Here's a post to get you all up to speed...

A few weeks ago, I fell totally completely hopelessly madly in love with Owl City's album Maybe I'm Dreaming. I actually listened to it in its entirety every day for about two weeks. Seriously. If listening to "On the Wing" and "The Saltwater Room" doesn't add a little beauty to your world, no electronic music will.

I've been planning to do a longer post about Owl City and several other similar bands, but there are these silly little things called AP tests I should be studying for over the next few weeks, so look for some updates after his show at Jammin' Java on Saturday, May 9th... I won't be going to the show, but I will spend the whole night obsessing over how someone so amazing is less than 20 miles away from me. But you should go to this show and experience the magic for yourself.

But if you're looking for a good concert, you really have no excuse not to see one soon. Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, Hey Monday, Metro Station, AND 50 Cent will all be coming to the Merriwether Post Pavilion this Saturday, April 25th. It actually looks like it will be the biggest assembly of talented pop-rock-punk-rap-techno artists to hit Merriwether Post this year, eclipsing Warped Tour, whose headliners are just kind of lame. General Admission tickets are still available, and because this tour has a funky ticket policy, it means you could be buying $36 lawn seats. But really, even 50 Cent will be there. This assembly of talent is certainly worth enduring a nosebleed.

Truly hardcore patyhoppers could try to attend Towson U's big TigerFest-ish thing before the FOB concert. The All-American Rejects, along with Ace Enders, Shiny Toy Guns, and that other band they're touring with will all be playing, probably throughout the afternoon. And I've heard there will be a mechanical bull.

The All-American Rejects themselves probably won't play until the evening, long after the FOB concert extravaganza has begun, so AAR fans might be better off skipping the beer garden (oh, and the rest of Towson U's party) and heading over to AAR's in-store appearance at Wet Seal in Towson Town Center. Give the store a ring at (410) 825-3736 for more info.

And if you want to spend every minute of your weekend listening to live music, be sure to stop by the Change for China benefit concert at Montgomery Blair High School on Friday night. They're boasting four professional bands, which has nothing on Fall Out Boy of course, but is quite impressive for a student-run benefit concert. And they're giving out an electric guitar as a door prize. They can't promise you a mechanical bull, but it's totally the next-best thing. More info on their Facebook page.

Oh, and don't forget that Cash Cash will coming to Sonar on Friday, May 8th, along with Kevin Rudolf, who is actually more of a big deal. But Cash Cash is ditching the northeastern leg of Warped Tour this summer, so you'll want to see them while you can. I still maintain that they're going to hit it fairly big one of these days...

[*EDIT* Uhmmm jaykayy... The Kevin Rudolf tour has been canceled. So Cash Cash will now be in Baltimore supporting Sing It Loud at Fletcher's on April 29th. A Wednesday... Guess I'll see them someday...

But if you're interested in the Sing It Loud tour, Virginia band The Friday Night Boys will also be opening. At least one of their members went to Sandy Spring Friends School, which is a pretty cool place, fyi. So I'd really like to see them in concert sometime. Darn you, school nights...]

And in case you haven't noticed, Sonar is hosting concerts by tons of awesome artists in the near future. Everyone from The Ting Tings to Lady Sovereign to Kate Voegele will be stopping by, so you should stop by their website to check it out.

That covers just about everything on my concert radar. As for other events, you probably don't need me to keep you up-to-date on all the latest Jonas Brothers news, what with their zillions of fans dedicated enough to create crazy fansites, but in case you forgot, their news series JONAS premieres Saturday, May 2nd, and their new album Lines, Vines, and Trying Times drops June 15th. Check out their hilarious attempts at sexy facial expressions on the album cover! Well, Kevin and Joe are trying to be sexy anyways. I think Nick just has the sun in his eyes.

Also, if you thought those JB updates were silly or trivial, you'll be glad to know Joe wore the same outfit to the airport and the 17 Again premiere. Isn't the Internet a fabulous educational resource? There is just so much useful information out there...

Anyways, with prom season fast approaching, girls might feel the desire to deny that they are still single or convince everyone that the random guy who asked them really is cool! And what's more impressive than dating an Internet music sensation? Act fast if you want to be able to tell the world that you are dating a member of Oh, Hush! Pink tank tops proclaiming that MY BOYFRIEND IS IN OH, HUSH! don't go on sale every day, you know. But they do go on sale tomorrow at 8:00 EST. And if you think everyone who sees your shirt will be able to call you on the fact that your boyfriend is not in Oh, Hush!, you clearly aren't in on the secret behind Oh, Hush!'s unique success. (Okay, maybe their awesome dance-rock tunes are their secret to success, which isn't really the best-kept secret...) Either way, stop by their MySpace or Facebook pages to check out their music and shirts. The sale ends on Monday, so you might want to hurry!

And finally, Meg & Dia's new album came out today! I would love to review it for you, but homework calls, so you'll have to listen to it and decide for yourself.

So that's about everything that's happened in the past month. Oh, and I've been told that Hottub's album sounds better than their live performances. I don't know how any music could top their angelic voices, but if you say so...

I love Relient K.

2009-04-02T17:16:00.004-04:00

Yo, twitter.com/relientk, your fave band has a special video message for you. Oh, and as for the rest of the world, their new "In the Studio" webisode might be of interest to you as well. I know I was pretty psyched to get an update from my favorite band that NEVER uses the Internet.

Basically, Relient K is at work on their new LP, giving all pop-Christian-punk fans another reason to live. As evident in the webisode, they are recording it in a be-yoo-tiful studio in Tennessee.

The only other real news I've heard from them is that you can now call them up and confess your undying love for their slightly ambiguous yet beautiful songs on their Say Now number, which is 615-866-4628.

And they are going on the world's most fabulous tour with my electropoppin' love, Owl City. Check his music out; it bears no resemblance Relient K's pop punk, but it's still gorgeous. Think NeverShoutNever joining The Postal Service. Unfortunately, they're touring the West Coast together, so no shows I could ever possibly attend. And their Winter Wonderslam tour only it the Southeast... They need to show the mid-Atlantic some more love. I know they were at the 9:30 Club five months ago, but still.

Anyways, watch their webisode here!!!

All the Girls Ah ah ah AHHHHH!!!!!: A Traumatic Night with Hottub and The Ting Tings

2009-03-26T17:25:00.014-04:00

Whether you get shivers standing in line in shady Baltimore alleys or if seeing an entire stadium full of tween girls in Jonas Brothers t-shirts freaks you out, I think you'll agree that I've been to a couple mildly scary concerts (okay, really mildly...) But nothing I've ever experienced could have prepared me for the sheer terror I felt at The Ting Tings and Hottub's concert last Friday night at the 9:30 Club...

The night started off normally: my friend was denied permission to go at the last minute but managed to change that with just hours to spare; my mom wouldn't let me go outside in only a t-shirt despite my explanation that I'll spend a few hours in a sweltering hot club and mere minutes outside in the 44 degree weather; my friend and I arrived before doors and stood in a huge line of middle-aged couples. Typical concert routine. Except the middle-aged people left their JoBros-obsessed daughters at home this time. (Okay, most of them were probably too young to have children with hormones, but you know. This was the first time I'd ever really partied with anyone over the age of 23.)

After snapping a picture of the SOLD OUT sign (because I'm a dork like that) and getting the hand stamps that prevent you from ordering alcohol but more importantly, make all your friends wonder where you were last night, we got in, checked out the merch stand, and assumed our spots in front of the stage. Oh, and I used the bathroom with the Little Mermaid Barbie doll on the door, as opposed to the one with the Prince Charming Ken doll. Gotta love the 9:30 Club.

I also met a girl wearing a remarkably similar outfit to mine (magenta top, yellow belt) who asked me how awesome her peacock feather barrette was, told me it was her 21st birthday, asked me how old I was, then wished me a happy birthday as I hurried out.

Doors were at 8:00, and although it would seem logical that the 9:30 Club would begin its shows at 9:30, no one I talked to actually believed they would be logical about things. Opening the doors 90 minutes before the show? No way. Most places do 30 minutes. 60, tops. But alas, logic prevailed, and we had to stand 20 feet away from the stage for 75 minutes until the smart adults started trickling in.

Remembering the girl near me who fainted at the Hellogoodbye concert, I grabbed two cups of complimentary ice water from the bar before the show began. Since dancing while holing drinks is slightly awkward (guess you need alcohol in them for it to seem more comfortable), I discovered that I could fit each cup of water into a pocket in my cargo pants. ((Concert tip: cargo pants = love. Sticking your newly purchased t-shirt in your pocket isn't always flattering, but it beats holding it all night.)) I told myself to be very careful when dancing so the water wouldn't spill.

At long last, the lights dimmed and the show began with what we all hoped was some sick joke. Three women lumbered on stage, turned their backs to the audience, and the music began.

I have never seen a mentally challenged pole dancer, but I imagine that watching one perform would instill the same feelings of guilt, disgust, pity, and sick fascination that Hottub's performance did. The three women on stage had a range of skin tones and body types, but they were clearly united in their fashion sense. All three wore (yes, you are reading this correctly) animal-print spandex. Two of them wore pieces of fabric that might have been leotards before someone realized just how hideous a plus-size tiger-print unitard really is and tried to do the world a favor by cutting it up. But their plan backfired when Hottub got a hold of it and... the result is still burned into my retina.

I actually thought one of them was totally rocking the whole leopard-print leggings with a leopard-print tunic look until she took her top off to reveal a very sparkly bra and an array of tattoos that would give John Vesely a run for his money. At least the sparkly bra reassured audiences that she really was a girl. There were rampant rumors that they were really men in drag. (Nope, I got an unfortunately close look at all three, and they were definitely female. But the average drag queen probably would have been able to put together a better outfit.)

Musically, Hottub is probably the best hip-hop screamo girl group ever, which is to say, they suck. Their first song might have been able to pass as rap; their second was more of a hard-rock chant; by the third, they had given up any remaining self-restraint and just devolved into seemingly senseless screaming. A few of their songs had slightly catchy choruses, but I think that this was because 10 minutes into their set, the audience was so desensitized that hearing them chant "B-I-T-C-H, you know what it is" sounded all right. (That would be the chorus to their song "Manbitch"; their other catchy song was "123Go," whose oh-so articulate chorus went "Ready, 1, 2, 3, go." Both songs are available on their MySpace page so you can make your ears bleed anywhere with Internet access!)(And if you're listening to them on MySpace and thinking they're all right, please know that they don't sound as good live.)

How does one dance to their self-described punk/crunk/funk music? Based on Hottub's moves, it appears that you trudge across the dance floor then get down on your knees and wail into that microphone. Once in a while you climb on top of a speaker with a lack of cat-like grace that would make the jungle cats who inspired your outfit cringe. Just as rarely, you and your bandmates attempt to do choreographed dances that are about as graceful as Britney's infamous VMA performance.

But Hottub's fave dance move? Gettin' down with the fans! They got off the stage and into the little part of the floor behind the metal barricades several times during the set, and if being 10 feet away from them while they're on stage is scary, being 5 feet away is horrifying. Yet fascinating. I wanted to cringe away and lean in closer to get a better look at their war paint-esque eye make-up at the same time.

The crowd was dumbfounded. While Hottub got all fired up, the audience just kind of stared. Even laughed out loud a couple times. Because, well, it was a funny experience. And if the freak show on stage got boring, a look at the adults on the balcony was sure to put a smile on your face. Most looked pretty freaked out, but a few ladies in business casual were dancing and clapping their hands like they'd hit the bar a few too many times. Like I said, partying with people over the age of 23 is weird...

The only time the crowd really cheered for Hottub was when they announced that they would only be playing one more song. But our joy soon turned to dread when Hottub explained that since the 9:30 Club won't let fans get up on stage with them, they were going to come down into the audience and party with us!!!!

As the ladies climbed off stage and into the audience, the crowd hastily parted for them. Some girls even screamed in terror as they passed. They worked their way through much of the club, stopping to grind with the occasional man.

When one of them passed by me, I did what anyone else would do in such a horrifying situation: I wet my pants. No, no, I didn't need to go to the Little Mermaids' room; I spilled the cups of water in my pockets. Though it felt like I had peed my pants. As if it wasn't hard enough trying to back away from a crazed lady in tiger-striped spandex who decided to stop and shake her thang right in front of me, I felt the water trickling down my legs and saw a puddle on the floor next to me. Most awkward moment of my life? Hell yeah.

I used my friend's camera to record a video of the crazy tiger-clad chick dancing six inches away from me; I sincerely hope it will be making the rounds on YouTube soon. I'll link to it as soon as it does!

When the song ended and Hottub returned to the stage, the audience let out an audible sigh of relief. The following 30 minutes of bland club music felt like heaven after Hottub's jarring 30-minute set.

Hottub's crazy dance attack shifted people around a bit on the floor; there was definitely one more row of a people between me and the stage than there had been at the beginning of the show. But no worries. I wasn't going to make the same moving mistake two boys near me made. They came up from somewhere near the back of the club and squeezed their way in in front of the stage. The middle-aged man next to me totally told them off and made them stand somewhere else because he and his wife had been waiting there, and they weren't about to lose their good view. The guys slunk off someplace farther back. Did I mention that I love partying with people over the age of 23?

When The Ting Tings came on stage, the audience cheered more loudly than I knew middle-aged people were capable of. The Ting Tings began with a terrific rendition of "We Walk."

The Ting Tings played every song on We Started Nothing except "Traffic Light," which isn't much of a party song anyways. Their live performances sounded very similar to their performances on the album (possibly because Jules DeMartino's drumming, Katie White's vocals, and both of their occasional guitar work were the only parts actually performed live. The keyboards and most of the guitar and bass were played somewhere off-stage, maybe on a recording.)

Honestly, after the months and months of anticipation for this concert, I don't really know how to say this, but The Ting Tings were a little... anticlimactic. Hottub made me want to scream and cry and run as if my life depended on it. The Ting Tings made me want to jump up and down and dance a little (and make out with Jules, omg hottness...), but watching their set felt like attending the wrong after party.

Although I may have been at the wrong party, I was in the right part of the room. You know when you're at a concert and you see a section of people dancing like crazy and having a blast, and you are stuck with a bunch of people who keep complaining about the sound quality and how much they want to cut your off? For the first time ever, I was in that awesome section of people that makes everybody else jealous. They jumped and clapped their hands, but they rarely bumped into you and never stepped on your toes. And it didn't start to smell rank in there until at least halfway through the set. So I loved the crowd. I really couldn't have had a better experience at the concert.

So I was glad I was near the stage because the crowd there was so enthusiastic, but as for The Ting Tings... They seemed pretty out of it. Katie looked dazed, and Jules spent the whole time hiding behind his oh-so cool large sunglasses. Katie barely spoke to the audience after she informed us near the beginning of the set that they had been to the 9:30 Club before and that it was a wonderful establishment. I don't think I ever heard Jules' voice. I wonder if it's all squeaky and funny-sounding, or if it's really raspy and scary? Probably not. I think I actually have heard him sing/rap/talk backup on a few songs. I think I've heard him in interviews too. But it would have been funny if he sounded like Mickey Mouse or a serial killer...

The Ting Tings' aloofness was disappointing, but it didn't mean they didn't play well. "We Walk," a song that always seemed like filler on their album, screamed NEXT SINGLE during the set. "Great DJ" was another standout, and I totally rocked out during my personal fave "Keep Your Head." And those weren't even the best songs. Katie did an interesting dance/trance/horrible step routine at the beginning of "Fruit Machine" in which she clapped, bent over, and hit a button that made a sound like, well, a fruit machine. It was weird, and I would've thought she was on drugs if this wasn't The Ting Tings. But it was a rare spark of innovation in their generally unvaried stage routine. (Katie sings, center stage. Katie sings, stage left. Katie is handed guitar, which she plays, center stage. Katie hands back guitar and plays mini keyboard, stage left. Jules plays drums, stage right, throughout.)

The other major Innovative Moment was during Katie's Crazy Weird Percussion Section on "Shut Up and Let Me Go," that really wasn't particularly crazy or weird. I've heard that The Ting Tings like to go all Blue Man Group during that song, but really, all Katie did was hit a cowbell a few times. Then she hit a spotlit bass drum with The Ting Tings written on it. I thought she was gonna go all Crazy Destructive Rock Star on it and bust it into a billion little pieces, but no. She just hit it like a marching band geek with anger issues.

After the Disappointing Blue Man Group Wannabe routine, The Ting Tings probably realized they needed to leave the audience hungering for more, so they left the stage. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. This statement proved entirely true because right then, I was kind of wishing Hottub would come back and make me think I wet myself again. But actually, seeing the spotlight on the bass drum Katie didn't destroy made me want The Ting Tings to come back, too. The guys around me were all grumbling about how a 30 minute set was too short. I'd pretty much have to agree with the people I'd been standing next to for the past 3 hours.

They say it's not over until the fat lady sings, but if that were true, the show would've ended with Hottub. Actually, the show didn't end with "Shut Up and Let Me Go" either. After a few tense minutes, Jules took the stage again. For the first time ever, he stood on stage left, playing the mini keyboard Katie had forsaken. Way to switch it up, man. Let the girls over there ogle your sex symbol-ness.

He started by playing a bit "Walk This Way," then gradually devolved into playing some electropop tunes I could not identify. I thought he might be playing a new Ting Tings song until Katie returned to the stage, grooved with him a bit and said "Impacilla Carpisung." And for the record, those lyrics are even more indecipherable when heard live.

I hoped Katie would use her minutes spent offstage to change into some uberfabulous costume, or at least paint her face blue, but alas, no Blue Man Group influence was present at the show. Whoever told me they did that was a liar.

Katie's outfit remained the same, as did her strange detachedness. But again, that didn't stop her from performing a killer rendition of "That's Not My Name," the last and certainly not least song of the set. That performance made me really understand why they picked that song as a single in the UK. It sounds really good.

The Ting Tings may have felt a bit like the after party, but once their set ended, Hottub returned and started the after after party. In fact, I think the after after party started right next to me. My friend and I decided we just had to buy Hottub tees to show everyone the trauma of what we survived. Plus they looked cool.

We were standing in line (correction: chaotic throng) the merch table when the girl from Hottub with the crazy warrior paint eye makeup walked up to the table and started talking to one of the girls working there. My friend and I realized then that we just had to get a picture with her, and I was elected the one to ask her while my friend bought the shirts. I have this thign where I use politeness as an excuse to avoid talkign to people I don't want to talk to, so of course I coudl not interrupt her conversation. How rude.

But then, who shoudl appear but Bubbles or whatever her crazily-named bandmate was called! She started shakign her leopard print-covered behind to some imaginary music and gushing to me about how awesome The Ting Tings were. I attempted to make small talk, working up to asking her for a picture, because I wanted to be seen as a fellow partier, not a moocher who's just in it for the Facebook profile picture. But another moocher beat me to it, slipping in wiht their camera extended, ready to snap it. Leopard Lady got Warrior Chick to stop talkign and take pictures wiht the fans, and the chaotic throng shifted 5 feet from the merch table to the freak show. Look for lots of Leopard Lady and Warrior Chick on Facebook and MySpace pages near you.

As it turned out, my friend and I were dead last in line for merch and almost last in line to get our pictures taken. But I partied right next to Warrior Chick during the show and Leopard Lady afterwards, and one of them complimented my friend on her scarf and engaged her in a brief conversation about the awesomeness of thrifting, and that is really all that matters. We had a great experience with people we will never forget, even if they did make me wet my pants.

Upcoming Concerts to Spring for

2009-03-23T17:33:00.008-04:00

Wow, was that title lame or what? It's so hard to come up with good puns using the word "spring"... Anyways...

Having just been to a concert (Ting Tings & Hottub, craziest night of my life; all the dirty details coming soon to a computer screen near you), it's time for a quick look to the future because lots of bands have announced their late-spring tours since my last big concert posts.

First up, you might have to act quickly if you want to snag tickets to the biggest indie dance show to hit the 9:30 Club since tonight's sold-out Cut Copy concert. Mates of State and Black Kids will be playing, along with Sunbears. Black Kids are one of my favorite new bands, and I've been meaning to write a post about their musical awesomeness and hot lead singer. For now, I'd advise you to check out their video for "Look at Me (When I Rock Wichoo);" it's pretty much the bomb. I haven't heard too many Mates of State songs, but several reliable sources tell me they're great.

They're coming to the 9:30 Club on Saturday, April 4th, so if you're looking for a great way to kick off your spring break, I'd suggest you pick up a ticket here.

And what better way to end your spring break than with a free concert by swing rocker Derek James at the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC on Friday, April 10th or Sunday, April 12th? I actually can't remember why I'm friends with him on MySpace, but his music is quite possibly the best rockabilly I've ever listened to, and you can't beat the price or the view at the Cherry Blossom Festival.

James will also be playing at pretty much every other venue within 50 miles of us between now and April 12th, so you can also catch his free show at Teavolve in Baltimore on April 11th, and shows in Baltimore and DC this week. But, uh, his music can get obnoxiosly twangy, so you might not want to see all 5 shows. FYI.

And did I mention that The All-America Rejects and Ace Enders will be coming to Towson University on Saturday, April 25th and to the 9:30 Club on Tuesday, April 28th? I did? All right then. No use beating a dead horse, no matter how excited you are for it...

May is a pretty big month for my favorite lil Baltimore club, Sonar. On Saturday, May 2nd, Sum 41 will be playing there with Inward Eye and American Taxi. Never heard of either of those bands, but I've been dying for a good pop-punk show to attend, and since Blink-182 hasn't announced their reunion tour yet and Bowling for Soup still seems to be on house arrest, only playing shows in their home state of Texas, Sum 41 just may be your best bet. Check their flier here, then pick up tickets here.

Then the next weekend, the real party gets started with The Let It Rock Tour. Kevin Rudolf is headlining, and if you're wondering who he is, we're on the same page. But I'm pumped for his opening acts, the addictively adorable Metro Station/Jonas Brothers wannabes of Cash Cash, and the... unique... electropop band Hyper Crush. Hyper Crush's logo may be cooler than their repetitve music, but Cash Cash is the real popstar deal. Also supporting them as The Audition and Go Crash Audio. I would check them out, but this concert had me at "Cash Cash."

They'll all be partying at Sonar on Friday, May 8th. Check the snazzy flier here then grab your tickets here.

Finally, Kate Voegele finishes up Sonar's month of magnificence on Sunday, May 17th, with Angel Taylor and a soon-to-be-announced special guest. Well, that's really only half of the month, but none of the other bands playing at Sonar really jumped out and said "buy tickets to see me!!!!"

Anyways, I saw Kate open for Natasha Bedingfield and The Veronicas last summer in Baltimore, and she gave a really solid performance. I also got to meet her before the show, and she was suuuper nice, so I'd advise you to check her out at Sonar if you get the chance. You can get your tickets here, and sadly, the link to her show's flier is not working.

Speaking of that dynamic popstar duo The Veronicas, they're coming back to the States (from their native Australia, source of their adorable accents) for another tour this Spring. The closest they'll come to the DC area is Pittsburgh, which is not very close to the DC area at all, but the girls are really sweet and definitely worth seeing sometime. Their show in Baltimore was plagued by mic problems that made them sound like they were performing a duet the Alvin and The Chipmunks, so it'd be nice to hear them with decent audio. And I'm sure their show at PA Diesel Club Lounge will go spectacularly. You can find more info on the show here.

And then, of course, you can pre-order Warped Tour tickets starting April 1st, but we'll save that annual conglomeration of coolness for a summer concert post...

Golden Oldie No More

2009-03-18T21:10:00.004-04:00

Seems like the last few thousands downloads of Aly & AJ's "Potential Breakup Song" were trickling in more slowly than the splattered paint running down the walls in that song's video. But I guess it's better late than never: "Potential Breakup Song" just went platinum this week, nearly 2 years after the single was released.

That seemed newsworthy just because of how belated it was. I mean, I know Aly & AJ were never the two-for-the-price-of-one Hilary Duffs Disney Channel would have liked them to be, but going platinum after 2 years? I've never heard anyone brag about that... But it is great for them; don't get me wrong. They didn't even need to release a deluxe edition of Insomniatic like they did for Into the Rush. But Into the Rush went platinum in less than a year... Oh, how the mighty mouseketeers are fallen.

Oh, and the other reason the Platinum certification is newsworthy is because it's the only real news Aly & AJ have had in months. Sure, they're both off starting their feature film careers, AJ in The Lovely Bones, Aly in Bandslam (a movie that might stand a chance, now that its title has been changed from Rock On!) and they want their next album to be, you know, good. Because they do more than just vacation in Aruba and dye their dogs. They swear.

I feel kind of bad writing so cynically about the girls I saw at my first for real rock concert, but I wish they had some proof that they've done something productive in the past few years besides being featured on My Super-Sweet 16. I feel like they always tried to be such serious artists when they were all over Disney Channel, but now they just come off as a few spoiled blondes who think they're hippies...

But maybe Bandslam won't be as cliche as it sounds. Maybe their new album won't get pushed back anymore. Maybe the song they wrote with Rivers Cuomo of Weezer will be on the album and will rock as much as it sounds like it will. Maybe their blog entries will consist of more than just home videos of them as 5 year-olds. Cuz, um, talk about living in the past...

So I guess it's good that I can at least report on the rather belated Platinum certification of "Potential Breakup Song." It sure beats talking about their dog's dye job...

Bringing Back Love

2009-03-15T14:29:00.009-04:00

Need a new cute musician to fall in love with? (When don't we?) Now is the perfect time to check out the ah-dorable Ace Enders, who totally stole my heart and Facebook profile picture when I saw him open for Hellogoodbye last November.

I was pretty excited that Ace would be playing at another sketchy Baltimore club this April, opening for Craig Owens, but alas, that show has been canceled. But, when a door closes, a window of beautiful sunlight opens: that date was canceled because it conflicted with Ace's tour with The All-American Rejects (<3333)!!!!! style="font-style: italic;">two shows, one at Towson University in, duh, Towson, on Saturday, April 25th, and another at the 9:30 Club in DC on Tuesday, April 28th. Of course, April 25th is also when Fall Out Boy and the rest of the Fueled by Ramen gang comes to the Merriwether Post Pavilion, so you might have to make some tough decisions about who your fave pop-punks are... But even if you don't get to see Ace in concert, you can still snag his autograph if you pre-order his new album When I Hit the Ground, which is going to hit stores this Tuesday 3/17. But that still gives you 29 hours to pre-order it from Newbury Comics and receive a free autographed CD booklet! I pre-ordered Cash Cash's fabulous album from them a few months ago, and they ship really quickly but might have led to a slight increase in the spam levels of my inbox.

Or, for an additional $3, you can pre-order it from Vagrant Records and get a t-shirt. I personally am quite conflicted. I already bought a "Bring Back Love" tee when I saw him in concert and got my picture taken with him, but I didn't get an autograph or this specific shirt... Decisions, decisions...

Oh, and as for the album itself, I can't find the free stream of it that he claims is on his MySpace page, but then again, I just can't really work MySpace's new music players. Why do social networking sites feel the constant need to change themselves?

Anyways, I can figure out how to listen to "The Only Thing I Have (The Sign)," "When I Hit the Ground," and a new rock version of "Bring Back Love," and I am loving all of them. They're more guitar-driven than Ace's last album, The Secret Wars, which you can still download for free at Fuse.tv. These tracks are a lot closer to the rock sound he had on the Hellogoobye BBQ tour. I am super-psyched for the rock version of "Bring Back Love." I'm still crazy about the piano version on The Secret Wars, but I fell in love with it as a rock song, and I've been wishing Ace would record a live version from one of his concerts.

But old fans, don't worry about this talk of rock n roll - Ace's voice is still as smooth and sweet as maple syrup. If these tracks are representative of the album as a whole, When I Hit the Ground will definitely be playing tug-of-war with your heartstrings.

The Album Project has a review of the full album here, and they "can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t fall in love with this music." So get ready - Ace is going to back back love again.

All Around the World

2009-03-12T17:11:00.003-04:00

I bet this is one of the those things where if you care, you already know, but if you can bear to read further: the Jonas Brothers announced the dates for their upcoming World tour yesterday.

I was sure Disney would save the coveted opening act slot for their next attempt to clone Miley Cyrus, but I guess they're willing to hire artists whose success won't directly profit Mickey Mouse - or else Jordin Sparks is thinking of switching labels. Oh wait, maybe she is. Her official site still mentions her old label at the bottom of the page, and all information I can find on her split with Zomba links back to the same Reality TV Magazine article. I can't even find the blog entry cited in the article, so maybe it's a false alarm...

Whether or not Hollywood Records plans to snatch up this Idol winner, they are giving her the opening slot of the Jonas Brothers' world tour. Even if no record deal is in the works, Disney has really taken a liking to Jordin. So far she's performed at Disneyland... more times than I want to count. And why wouldn't like a good purity ring-wearer like Jordin? If Russel Brand comes to any of the shows, Jordin can beat him up for the JoBros.

But since Jordin Sparks can't just come on stage without an opening act having warmed up/ticked off the crowd, pop-rock band Honor Society will be opening as well. Since hearing this, I have not been able to stop bashing my head against the keyboard because I was stupid enough to watch a few of their live performances on YouTube, read that they were basically BFFs with the JoBros, briefly admire their tie-filled wardrobe, then decide they weren't good enough to hit it big anytime soon. Their album was produced by the freakin Jonas Brothers. Of course they're major contenders for the title of Next Big Thing.

I mean, it's not like they're bad; they just... sound like the Jonas Brothers' wimpy little stepbrothers. They're heavier on the pop than the rock and accurately describe themselves as sounding like a rock project by Justin Timberlake. Entertainment Weekly knows more about them than I do; check out EW PopWatch's insightful review here.

But, um, also, they're old. Not like Rolling Stones old, but still graduated high school before Kevin Jonas, and people complain that at age 21, he's too old to be a tween pop star... Plus, like, their name is Honor Society, which exudes almost as much lameness as Son of Dork... But then again, I am madly in love with Son of Dork's album Welcome to Loserville because of everything but its name... For one brief second, I thought Andrew Lee of Honor Society was either Son of Dork's David Williams or James Bourne, but no. Hey, Bourne used to produce for the Jonas Brothers; it's not toootally crazy to think he could open for them.

Hey, speaking of that tour, want some dates? The JoBros will hit the Verizon Center in DC on Monday July 13th. That's after they tour South America and part of Europe (who tours South America? props for actually including more than half the continents on your world tour, guys!) but before they get to the rest of Europe, Asia, and Australia. A complete set of dates can be found here. No ticket info yet.

December's Over

2009-03-10T17:36:00.013-04:00

When Kelly Clarkson released "My Life Would Suck Without You," reviewers everywhere rejoiced that the Kelly of "Since U Been Gone" was back and proclaimed that their lives sucked without her for the past two years since My December's sales were colder than its namesake. I thought their response seemed slightly inconsiderate. I always thought that you could only buy a one-way ticket to becoming a serious, pained artiste, and that once you ticked off the head of your label, you wouldn't go back to doing things the way he liked them without a fight. I thought Kelly's return to rockin' pop balladry signified her surrender to the evil forces of the industry and that she would be more of a shell of herself than she was on My December - except this time, she'd be cocooned in layers and layers of synths. (Hey, it usually works for Britney.)

I'd love to know how Kelly's been in the few years since her last No. 1 hit , but since I can't exactly call her up and ask how it feels to stop being America's Fave Pop Star, we'll just have to see what we can glean from her new album.

It seemed like Kelly spent the last two years in hibernation, licking her wounds after the world told her "personal break-up album? We don't listen for your feelings; we listen for your hooks!"

Album openers "My Life Would Suck Without You" and "I Do Not Hook Up" are as catchy as any of Kelly's previous songs, which could be a sign that she's given up on innovation, or that she just... likes pop music. She sounds as independent and happy as she did on "Since U Been Gone." Way more than she did on "Don't Waste Your Time"...

In fact, forget about comparing All I Ever Wanted to My December. It's like the strong pop-rock of Breakaway with an extra sugar coating. "Don't Let Me Stop You," "Long Shot," and "Impossible" all would have fit in well on Kelly's sophomore album, even though "Long Shot" was written by Katy Perry, Glen Ballard, and Matthew Thiessen (yes, that's THE Matthew Thiessen of Relient K. My mind was kind of blown when I found out he worked with Katy Perry... Actually, this knowledge made me totally disappointed in the song. Matty T and Katy are pretty much my songwriting dream team. Sure, they were young and inexperienced back when they recorded it in '05, but still. This should be some witty, insightful brilliance. I expect better next time.)

But, oh, um, back to Kelly. Girl tries on some different personas throughout the album, which are most notable in the juxtaposition between treacly ballad "Save You" and hard rocker "Whyyawannabringmedown." Yeah, Kelly Clarkson tries her hand at some serious rock, guitar solo included. It's not necessarily pretty... But not a complete embarrassment. Mostly just mind-blowing. I doubt I'll know what to think about it for a while...

Then again "Save You" isn't all that pretty either. It may boast a Mozart-inspired "experimental bridge," but gosh, it sounds like every other song on the world that has lyrics like "I wish I could save you/I wish I could say to you/I'm not going nowhere/I wish I could say to you/It's gonna be all right." I'm sure it's fine for what it is, but treacle tunes just aren't my thing.

Speaking of treacle tunes - "Cry," "Already Gone," and "If No One Will Listen" also contain as much sap as a gallon of maple syrup. But not in a really bad way, and not in the totally depressed style of her previous album. "Cry" sounds more like she's soaring through a cloudy sky than crawling up in a hole. And I actually really like "If No One Will Listen." It has the sparse production and great vocals I love in ballads by Marie Digby.

"If No One Will Listen" showcases Kelly's vocals well, unlike many other songs in the album. The slight vocal effects didn't bother me until I heard the beginning of "If I Can't Have You." I mean, she's Kelly freakin' Clarkson; she has one of the best voices Simon Cowell will ever discover.

Then I heard the rest of "If I Can't Have You" and realized that it suffered from a mild case of overproduction because, well, it's a 21st-century pop song. Love it or hate it, hyperproduction is to catchy pop as jelly is to peanut butter. There are some delicious peanut butter and banana sandwiches out there, but most kids are munching PB&J.

Yes, Kelly Clarkson is a pop star again. "If I Can't Have You" is a pop song with killer instrumentals and a chorus that can really only be described as dance-ilicious... Okay, I'm sure there are many real words that could describe the chorus, but really catchy dance pop makes it hard for me to remember vocab words. All I can say is, next single? Pretty please??

"Ready" and "I Want You" are more surprisingly sunny songs for Kelly, proving that spring really has sprung after the cold desolation of her December. And if the 14 songs on All I Ever Wanted haven't convinced you that Kelly and pop music have kissed and made up, look no further than the deluxe edition bonus tracks. "Tip of My Tongue" has a dash of Latin-pop spice that's just the recipe for sweet Top 40 success, and "The Day We Fell Apart" is pure pop fun with another dance-ilicious chorus. I was always a fair-weather Kelly Clarkson fan, and while my life might not have sucked without her, it certainly would suck without catchy, fun tunes like many of the ones on this album.

Slightly Speechless

2009-03-09T19:53:00.005-04:00

...I had planned to post a review of the Mixed Unity Stop the Violence concert in Downtown Silver Spring last Saturday, but I really don't know what to say about a nonviolence concert at which a fight breaks out in the audience and the police start macing people...

I wasn't there for the fight (too busy playing dress-up with the sequined XXXL tops at Burlington Coat Factory), but I was there for a great set from Those Guys and several of the freestyle rappers. Some of the rappers were really talented; others were pretty mediocre. Props to the guy who rapped about how he believes in Jesus rather than sex, drugs, and clubbing, and to the guy who rapped about how he got into drugs then quit. It takes guts to say you disapprove of marijuana in front of an audience of people with smoke clouds visible around their heads...

I didn't catch the names of any of the rappers (yes, the only name I heard was "Those Guys"), but I got a (slightly amateur-ish) flier for a band called Class 6. I missed their set, but I figured I'd go to their MySpace anyways, and to my surprise, they're actually really good. One of the best hip-hop/rock bands I've ever heard. [Because, you know, I listen to soooo many other hip-hop/rock bands, so I totally know good rocking/rapping when I hear it...]

Some good pictures of the concert (and the names of more of the bands) at Silver Spring Town Center, Inc's blog. They don't mention the fight, making it sound like simply a nice little community event... if only it was...

How to Get Happy

2009-03-03T16:34:00.003-05:00

When the temperature is well below freezing and there are 6 inches of snow on the ground and you need more than just hot chocolate to keep warm, may I suggest you try some heart-warming music, such as NeverShoutNever's fresh-out-of-the-oven single "Happy," just released today.

You can hop on over to iTunes and pick it up RIGHT THIS MINUTE (my recommended course of action), or give it a spin on YouTube first. Actually, I recommend seeing the fan video on YouTube first because it is packed with pictures of that bundle of adorableness known as Christofer Drew. I might feel guilty about encouraging you to listen to it illegally, since Chris hasn't put it on his MySpace yet so I don't think he really wants people hearing it without paying for it, but once you hear it, you'll definitely think it's worth $.99.

I don't really have too much to say about the song except that it is hands-down the most feel-good thing I have heard in my life. "Heart-warming" is an understatement. It made my heart so hot I melted into a puddle on the floor.

I suppose I ought to mention that it features a ukulele. I'm glad Chris's fondness for ukuleles extended beyond his recent ukulele EP, Me & My Uke. If you missed out on that ukulele fabulousness, you can download the whole 3-song EP on iTunes or pick up a free download of one of the songs, "Did It Hurt,"on the PureVolume page for his current tour, the Let's Get Happy tour. I strongly suggest you take advantage of this opportunity to own the only song that has ever successfully made girls swoon with the line "Did it hurt when you feel from heaven?"

Now that you've heard two of NSN's songs and probably want to buy an I Love Christofer Drew tee and wear it every day for the rest of you life, you can meet Chris & confess your love for him (er, say that you love him, not that you're in love with him. There's a difference.) at his show at Jaxx in West Springfield, VA this Sunday, March 8th. More info in my post here.

Before the show on Sunday, Chris will be signing autographs at Hot Topic in Springfield Mall in Springfield, VA at 3:00. Just purchase some NSN merch at that store to get a sticker to meet Chris. All the deets can be found here. I suggest you get your sticker in advance, since there was kind of a mob of teenage girls permanently glued to Chris when I saw him open for Hellogoodbye. Meet & Greet tip: he hates camera flashes, but he's generally wayyy too nice to say anything.

Oh, and be sure to stop by NSN's MySpace & check out his new profile picture. Hawtt.

This Summer's Hottest Ticket? No Doubt About It...

2009-03-01T12:51:00.008-05:00

Hey hey hey, I saw the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience this weekend, and it was quite the experience (and this time, I am not just calling it "an experience" because I don't want to say it sucked. It rocked. Go see it. Right now. Even if you saw a show on the Burning Up tour. Even if you think Joe is a jerk for breaking up with Taylor on the phone - you'll love his duet with her.)

But anyways, I would love to write more about that terrific piece of concert-movie magic, but my brain is kind of stuck in crazed fangirl mode (it's a miracle I've managed to write this many coherent sentences) after I found out that the No Doubt reunion tour I've heard rumors of
is happening
this summer
Paramore's opening
(so are The Sounds)
It's coming to Nissan Pavilion
June 14th
Details at No Doubt's site and LiveNation
Tickets go on sale this Saturday (March 7th)
So I am suuuuuuper psyched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And lucky me, I only have 2 final exams this year, and the concert is the night before the last day of exams, and lucky, lucky me, that just so happens to be the day of one of my exams. Yes, approximately 7 hours after Gwen & the gang quit rocking the DC area, I will be taking my Spanish exam.

Plus, um, tickets will sell out in like, 10 seconds. And they'll probably cost a million bucks anyways. So log on right at 9:00 AM this Saturday if you want to stand a chance. Or join the tour club, but then your tickets will cost a million and fifteen bucks.

Oh, and, um belated warning about reading the reviews on LiveNation's page: they are very favorable reviews. They will make you feel even crappier if you cannot see the show because it is right before your Spanish exam...

.....................................................................................................................

Okay, I've collected myself enough to dig up some dirt on the rationale begind this Tour Club thing, and apparently it's a way to prevent scalpers from getting the bet seats, accordign to the LA Times. No Doubt's manager told them the system is scalper-proof, but Ticket Liquidator has already proven him wrong. $54 lawn seats, anyone?

I'd love to give you a general idea of what tickets will cost (mostly because I'd like to have a general idea myself), but Ticket Liquidator appears to have no system for pricing its tickets. Don't ask me why an $82 lawn seast beats a $54 lawn seat or why a front row seat is only $311 while seats in the farther away section 103 go for $896...

StubHub has lawn seats rangin from $58 to $101, but their prices for section 103 make $896 look like a steal. For First Tier 103, they're asking for - brace yourself - $1,175.

But at least you're getting more than jsut tickets to a possibly once-in-a-lifetime event. with the purchase of tickets, you also get access to free downloads of No Doubt's entire collection. Um, yeah, like, all their songs. Like, 10 years of music. Makes those $54 lawn seats look like quite a deal...

Where Are They Now: Flying all over the country, embracing the Spanish-speaking market, and remaking 10 Things I Hate About You???

2009-02-26T21:02:00.007-05:00

Maybe it's the bazillions of emails I've gotten notifying me of the Jonas Brothers' new blog entries about their 3D movie (3 a day? These are blogs, not dairy products. But like dairy products, they start to stink a bit if you don't chill.), but I'm feeling the need to do a lil Camp Rock Where-Are-They-Now? post because they may not be on bedding collections at Target any more, but they seem to be everywhere else.

State the obvious: the JoBros have a new 3D concert movie premiering tomorrow, word on the street is it's the biggest 3D concert experience since Hannah Montana. Hope U2 isn't trying to release any 3D movies anytime soon...

And Demi, of course, can be found on "Sonny With a Chance," Disney's latest attempt to clone Hannah Montana, but make her a brunette this time. No, the show's fairly decent, like the actors, hate the writers. What we really need is a Doug Tuber/Tim Maile where-are-they-now...

But you may be mildly surprised to learn Demi's re-releasing her album "Don't Forget" with a couple bonus tracks. Or you may look back on the Jonas Brothers, Hilary Duff, Hannah Montana, and Aly & AJ's re-released albums and wonder why in the world Demi's would surprise anyone.

You may not be surprised that it only has 2 bonus tracks, because everyone knows a re-release is just a last-ditch effort to get a Gold album to go Platinum. The two songs Demi whipped up are "Lo Que Soy," a cover of her Camp Rock anthem "This Is Me" performed in Spanish, and something called "Behind Enemy Lines." But the real surprise is that even though "Lo Que Soy" seems like it should be total filler, its sparse production actually sounds far better than the original's early-2000's pop sound ever did. Demi looks vaguely demented in the video, but it's worth watching just to hear the song.

It totally beats Demi's other recent release, a download of her old song "Moves Me," which she recorded when she was 10 years old, thought she could dance hip-hop, and had no idea what a meaningful lyric was. The video's not exactly must-see TV, but it's kind of cool to see how much she's improved.

Oh, and maybe I shouldn't judge an album a month before it's released (March 31st, yo), but my verdict on it is that I'll pick up a copy, but only because I've been meaning to get the original since like October. And did I mention the deluxe edition comes with a DVD jam-packed with pictures & videos I'll probably never get around to watching??

So that pretty much sums up where Demi is. As for the JoBros' location, no one can be quite sure since they're gonna be jetting around the U.S. popping up at random screenings of their 3D movie all day tomorrow, because who cares about the carbon footprint of a private jet when your past 2 albums have been released (and one re-released) on recycled material? Rock stars will be rock stars...

Although Entertainment Weekly described JB's new song "Love Is On Its Way" as a "clunker," the track's worth a listen. It follows "Lovebug"'s slow-then-soulful pattern, but it's less breezy and more... clunky. It's still pretty good. But I can totally forgive EW for dissing it, since I just love it when middle-aged men rave about teen pop stars. I sometimes wonder if EW's offices are wallpapered with those free JoBros posters you get in trashy tween magazines, since they have a serious thing for those boys...

Hmm, I think I've covered where everyone is... Oh, silly me, where are my manners, only mentioning the big names from Camp Rock. I'm no better than a Target dinnerware set! Um, let's see, Camp Rock's main songwriter, Kara Dioguardi, is probably having a girlfight with Paula Abdul as we speak, since everyone knows she's the new judge on American Idol. (Actually, she could be fighting with Simon or Randy for all I know; I haven't been able to watch for more than 3 minutes this season.)

Purty much everyone will be coming back for Camp Rock 2, which is getting some very negative buzz on IMDb (hey kids, get lives!) and is slated to premiere this June. I hear the plot's about a rivalry with another rock camp, and everyone's putting their money on a Joe-Demi kissing scene a la HSM 2.

Meaghan Jette Martin, singer of my fave Camp Rock song ever, "Too Cool," is bizarrely starring in a 10 Things I Hate About You remake on ABC Family. Probably the biggest news in this post. Sorry I didn't mention it sooner.

Y'know, I doubt anything I can say now will top that last fact, so I'll let you scamper off to IMDb to bitch about how it's a travesty to Heath Ledger's legacy, not to mention the greatest Shakespeare adaptation of all time. Have fun!

Stick to the Serenades.

2009-02-21T16:27:00.010-05:00

With the Oscars, Chris Brown controversy, Jessica Simpson's weight problems/ugly double belt problems, and, you know, real economic/social/political issues in the world today, you probably have lots of questions and very few answers. So I am going to help by answering a question that I know you have been losing sleep over for weeks: What is Secondhand Serenade's favorite beer to drink while on the road?

Answer: Miller Lite.

I got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn the answers to that and similar questions (what else do you drink? tequilas. other fave beers? too many to list.) when my friend won a contest with Hot 99.5 to come to their headquarters and "chill out" with Secondhand Serenade.

In case you did not know, Secondhand Serenade is the stage name of John Vesely, the oh-so-deep artistic genius behind "Fall for You" and many similarly well-orchestrated tunes. My friend and I did not know that when we found out she won, but we had heard the name, and we thought we'd probably try to go. At first, we thought it was just a concert, so we didn't bother checking out his music or anything until Hot 99.5 called her back to say we should come to their headquarters to "chill out." Upon hearing this, we totally freaked and made sure to check out his music, pictures, and life story posthaste.

We decided his music was absolutely, totally, flawlessly brilliant, and we would totally have like-liked him, but he was married with two kids, so we'd settle with just liking him. We also decided that this was a ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, so our parents had to let us skip 8th period to go. And had to drive us there. And had to take us to Borders to buy his CDs. (Love you, Mom & Dad)...

Our epic adventure began when we got out of our 8th period classes, my friend with a note about a fake doctor's appointment signed by her real mother, me by bargaining with my teacher to let me attend his 5th period class that day during lunch instead of 8th period, because my parents believe school is more important than celebrity encounters, and I believe celebrity encounters are more important than lunch.

Running from school to my dad's car in the church parking lot, my friend's ears nearly got ripped off because the crazy strong wind was blowing against her awesomely large earrings. She was lucky to make it to the car with her earlobes intact. My dad drove us to the headquarters in Rockville, and we were kind of freaking out because we were running late.

We got to the building & went to the 5th floor as directed. I was all prepared with 3 different ID's to show them, and since my friend won the contest, I wasn't even the one whose identity they'd need to verify. But the receptionist gave us NO TROUBLE. She was just like "You here for Secondhand Serenade? Go sit on the couch." So we waited on the couch, along with a twitchy girl who thought she knew someone from our school but couldn't remember who, 2 college students, and 2 college grads who were a bit bitter because they just got fired. All of them wore fashionable black tops and dark skinny jeans, typically with Uggs, and tons of eye make-up. My friend and I felt like we fit right in with our pink & blue tees and total lack of makeup...

Employed or not, everyone on the couches seemed slightly bitter because we were told to arrive at 2:30, and we had to sit on that couch until at least 3:05. I personally was not the least bit bitter because, well, I was at a real radio station lyke OMGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!111 And to add to the coolness, there were two big postal bins filled with CDs on the floor between the couches. I asked what they were for, and a magical light shone down from the heavens saying that all my wishes ever had been granted because they were filled with FREE CDS!!!! I used to dislike Top 40 because it played the same songs like ALL THE TIME, but I have been starting to appreciate the format more in recent months (particularly after realizing that oldies stations just play "I Shot the Sheriff" all the time, and I'll take "Womanizer" over that any day) The generosity of this station really confirmed my belief that Top 40 is not stupid commercial fluff; it is heaven.

I felt like the other girls might think I was rude and shamelessly materialistic if I greedily grabbed a bin and started rifling through it, bringing home half its contents, but I figured they already hated me for my bright blue Pac Sun tee & funky yellow belt, and life is too short to act dignified. I left with 10 CDs in my friend's bag because they couldn't fit in my purse.

After an eternity of boredom for the other girls and bliss for me, we were led up to a conference room on the 6th floor, where they had free Kit Kat bars and stickers. Though not as appealing as CDs played by a real record station, I also think free chocolate is a pretty sweet deal. I restrained myself and only took one. But I also grabbed one of every sticker in sight; the other girls didn't give them a second glance. But I mean, free CDs, candy, AND stickers?? I was really enjoying my experience so far!

While we were waiting in the Kit Kat-filled conference room, my dad was waiting for us in the building's reception area. He saw a bunch of guys go to the elevators, one of whom had a punk haircut and was making really awful noises. Guess who was warming up on his way to perform...

Back in the conference room, the Hot 99.5 peeps were scrambling around trying to find interns to fill the 20 empty chairs in the room, since I guess a few winners decided the prospect of being secondhandedly serenaded wasn't worth taking a long lunch break. Finally, sometime after 3:15, they filled the room and Secondhand Serenade arrived. [We later found out he was late because he just woke up.]

I think Toby (bigshot DJ, in case you're not a Hot 99.5 listener) wanted us to cheer or something, but I personally was too shy & nervous to speak. The other girls may have just been too annoyed at his tardiness to cheer him on...

John (Secondhand Serenade) sat down and promptly asked "Is there any water in this bitch?" I assumed he was acting like a spoiled rock star brat because he thought it was funny and ironic, but I think I'm too inclined to see the good in everyone. Anyways, after getting his water bottle, John asked the audience if we had any questions. We were all either scared or bored out of our minds, so we didn't really, no... So Toby decided to ask us questions. First: who would like to touch John. John said we could touch him. The twitchy girl , one of the unemployed chicks, and I all shyly approached him and touched one of his overly-tattooed arms, cuz why not? John looked seriously freaked out and said he was kidding. It was awkward.

Since offering to let fans touch your tattoos then telling them you didn't actually mean it is not a good conversation starter, Toby offered to let one of us fans sit in the empty chair next to John and "interview" him, because apparently his other back-up guitarist was supposed to sit there but didn't. So Unemployed Chick got to sit next to John.

Unemployed Chick asked John what his favorite song to record was. He said "Pretend" because he was drunk when he wrote and recorded it. Then he told us about how he recorded A Twist in My Story in a big house full of rocker guys who pretty much recorded music and drank beer all day.

I had been planning to ask him about the songwriting process, such as if he writes the music or the lyrics first. I decided that I now knew enough about his recording process and would not like to think about it more, thank you very much.

My back-up question was going to be about how he balances his musical career with spending time with his wife and children. I decided I didn't want to know the answer to this question either, but I was curious as to whether or not anyone else in the room wanted to call Social Services...

A Hot 99.5 employee asked a follow-up question about the whole recording-while-drunk thing: What's your favorite type of beer?

John visibly perked up and rattled off a huge list of beers while my friend and I tried to get our minds around the fact that this guy memorized the names of his top 50 favorite breweries and recited them in the presence of impressionable high school kids. We weren't able to focus on anything he was saying until he finished up by saying that when he's on the road, he's gotta have his Miller Lite.

While answering this question, he was the most excited he looked all day.

He also said he likes tequilas, so if any of us wanted to give him a present...

He didn't need to finish that statement, because we didn't.

Finally, everyone decided to give up on the Q&A charade, and John sang "Fall for You". His voice sounded quite good, and he looked pretty cool. I was almost able to regain the respect I'd held for him and his music until the past few minutes.

Maybe John & the folks at Hot 99.5 thought that we the crowd would be all warmed up & ready to ask some profound questions after his performance, but if so, they were wrong. We were even more dumbfounded than we were when he walked in.

John asked us if any of us were going to his show at the Birchmere that night. No response.

I don't think he truly disliked us until he realized that none of us were going to pay $20 to see him perform. He asked us if we all just won some random radio contest... I think he took our silence as a confirmation of the truth of what he just said.

Another Hot 99.5 employee asked John if he could sing "Like a Knife" for us. He said he'd only sing another song if we would go to his show that night. We still didn't respond, and he played "Your Call"... Not even the song she requested...

After the song, John asked all of us why we weren't going to see his show. Twitchy girl said she would, but she had school the next day. My friend and I agreed. He said he had to get on an airplane at 7:00 the next morning, so he had to get up at 5:00, AND he was going to stay up later partying than we were, so we had no excuse.

I wanted to pull out my phone and ask him to explain that to my dad, but he was pretty much ignoring me.

Unemployed Chick said she'd go if he gave her free tickets. She couldn't afford tickets because she got fired.

John: "What kind of jeans are those?"
Unemployed Chick: "New jeans."
John: "Yeah." (looks at new jeans, top, and blazer) "Yeah, you look like you're really hurting."

John told Unemployed Chick he'd talk to his tour manager about getting her tickets, and this pretty much ended the Q&A.

Even though John clearly did not want to be in the room with us disgusting freaks who were willing to "chill out" with him but not attend his show, he agreed to pose for pictures with everyone while Twitchy girl and Toby bonded by acting weird in front of the camera.

They gave out free posters, which John signed for everyone, and he signed two of the pictures my friend and I printed out to give to our friends. I decided not to keep my poster because I realized that I did not really want a picture of this guy on my wall.

Then John showed everyone the tattoo of a typewriter on his leg. It was actually the coolest tattoo I'd ever seen...

Then John told Unemployed Chick he wouldn't actually talk to his tour manager for her. We all thought he'd been serious... First saying we could touch him, then offering free tickets... Dude needs to be more clear about his sarcasm.

Then John posed for a picture with the Hot 99.5 staff and laughed his head off as Toby grabbed his boobs.

So if one of those burning questions you have was what are some of Secondhand Serenade's favorite things, he likes an assortment of beers, tequila, and men who grab his breasts... What a guy....

If you'd like to see a video of this marvelous day, I believe that if you click here then click on the Stripped videos, you can watch John in all his beer-loving glory. I took a few pictures, but I did not take any videos because we are not allowed to take videos and I am a good kid and I am not lying right now and the only reason I'm not posting the videos is not because I am too lazy to learn to use YouTube; it is because I have no videos... Phew. Gotta be careful what you post on the Internet, kiddos.

I wanted to get a picture of John and Toby together because it's not like you see them together every day...

Okay, he is still a cutie, no matter how much he drinks...

I think he is talking about beer right now. Nothing else would have made him look this animated.

He looked so cool when he sang. It was like he was a different person.

I think part of the reason he looked so cool when he sang was because he did not look at us. I think he was off in his own little world filled with fans who pay money to go to his shows... and beer, of course. Gotta have beer.

Oh, and did I mention he had a whole freakin' lot of tattoos?
We thought he was this nice little rock star who wouldn't be into the whole sex & drugs part of rock n roll, seeing as he has a wife and two kids, but we learned our lesson... My friend says she still loves him. I've gotten over this enough to be able to enjoy his music again, but I can't really respect it the way I used to...

To get out of class, I told my teacher this would be a unique educational opportunity where I would learn so much about the music industry, and I wish he'd asked me what I learned from it because I learned so much more than I bargained for...